Let's Play Age of Wonders III: User Input Required

Sacrificing lives unnecessarily would be inefficient! Did not Warbob Sexlizard decree that "warfare is a leading cause of death and a massive waste of resources"?

Let the elves flee, they will soon be introduced to the light of Progress.

Spy Drones will let us avoid unnecessary conflicts, and thus dovetails nicely with this reaffirmation of Warbob Sexlizard's ideals.

You are an attentive disciple and Warbob Sexlizard will heed your advice. After a bloodless capture, we discover that there are not two gold mines to the north, but no fewer than four - and an additional Magma Forge to boot.


Furthermore, we have discovered a neutral Dwarven outpost to our west.


Do we agree to give some of our gold to these greedy, evil dwarves in exchange for peace, do we declare intentions of war outright, or do we ignore them for now?

There are two things to note - first, paying them for peace opens up the possibility to perform a quest for them in exchange for them joining us. Secondly, we cannot reach their settlement this turn to capture it should we seek to conquer them rather than have them join us peacefully.

Additionally, we have discovered a pair of bandit camps to our east (the little fireplace in the northern part of the image is the southern edge of the second camp).

These camps will spawn roving enemies as the game progresses, which is dangerous to us because Warbob Sexlizard believes in using Warbob Sexlizard's entire army rather than inefficiently having soldiers stay at home.

Shall we finish capturing the remaining gold mines and magma forge (which we will need to build a fortress or outpost to reap the rewards from, barring the closest one), head west to the dwarven outpost, head east to clear out the bandits, or do some combination of the above?

Ugh, a three front war doesn't sound like any fun at all. Let's pay off the dwarves first, and then split the rest of our army between capturing gold/forges and clearing out the bandits.

Gold serves no purpose rotting away in our coffers, and these dwarves seem like they could become valuable allies to our cause in due time. This also avoids unnecessary conflict which well see above.

Clearing out the bandits, however, is a necessary conflict that we must address with as much force as we can muster while preferably still making progress toward those mines and magma forge.

While splitting up the army is possible, Age of Wonders is similar to other strategy games in that concentrating forces tends to be advantageous when you're actually fighting rather than just burning undefended cities. To put it another way, while we can win two 4v4 fights thanks to magic and strategy, we might lose units in each fight, whereas an 8v4 is likely to be lossless.

Alright, let's focus on dealing with the bandits first, and then work on capturing the mines and such later when we have more troops to spare.

I'll agree with Councillor Coldblooded's course of action.

With peace assured on our western border, our forces head east, stopping only to claim a gold mine that is literally in our path, which falls with no losses.

We soon come across the first bandit camp

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Spoiler

In a daring night raid, we destroy their camp, liberating a Halfling Jester. Though his people may be silly, this unit uses a rocket launcher, so we welcome his potential contributions to our army.

Our Builder's Hall has been completed, and now we may start construction on the Store House to grow Lizardheim further or a Siege Workshop to increase our production. Since the Store House can be built sooner, being a Tier 1 building, it is probably worth finishing that before moving on to either a Hospital or the Siege Workshop.

Additionally, we have finished researching Summon Spy Drone. We prepare to cast this spell, and (barring further complaints) will be progressing down the Dreadnought unit tree by researching Produce Engineer.

The second camp of brigands, seeing what happened to the first, disperses without a fight. Therein, we liberate a group of Dwarven Deepguard, very sturdy pikemen that should prove a useful addition to our army.

Lizardheim, thanks to an influx of refugees rescued on our journey and the produce provided by our steam powered farm, has grown into a Town. This will increase our production and research.

What's this, though? Our newly summoned Spy Drone has found an Eldritch Pit! Like the bandit camps, this will spawn monsters that can potentially plague our lands.

Just beyond this pit is a city of humans that contend that the mercy that we have shown our foes is a sign of weakness rather than greatness. They are immediately hostile.

No mere outpost like that of the dwarves, this settlement is already a full fledged city, and could be both a challenge to conquer and a great boon to our empire if we should succeed.

At the same time, it seems our new friends to the west are experiencing a rebellion.


Finally, we have met our first other rival in world conquest. A Goblin Warlord named Wazuhl the Jagged, he is apparently very interested in looking at his hands. Like, really looking at them, you know?

His lands lie to our northeast, but are yet some distance from us.


Shall we head north along the path, stamping out the monsters and then attempting to conquer Stackleburg, or return to the west to suppress the rebellion and enlist the dwarven outpost to our cause?

Additionally, should we build Public Baths in our capital city to make our people work harder and open up the ability to build a Hospital, or produce the Siege Workshop which will increase our production and open up the ability to build a Master's Hall?

In ascending order of reply:

-The cunning shipwrights and engineers of our race will bathe in the sulfur of knowledge, cleansing them during work, and thus saving time and increasing efficiency a thousandfold.

-I thought that guy looked like a fox furry rather than a goblin, in which case I would've said, "You wanna put those hands to good use, bby? ;)))))"

Actually, ask him that anyway.

-A halfling jester with a rocket launcher. This really is an age of wonders.

Crush the less progress-minded Dwarves so that they can join us in crushing that pit and then Stackleburg. Another city under our control will be a powerful boon, and it seems they leave us no choice but to fight.

While production is an important tool, Baths and a Hospital will create a healthy, secure and clean population able to speed along progress with a minimum of sick days. Onward to hygiene and healthcare!

Well, the Dwarf quest has a ten turn time limit and has the words "very easy" next to it, so we might be able to complete it even if we leave the bulk of our forces on the eastern front.

Question #1: How many turns away is Stackleburg from where we are now?
Question #2: How much of a threat is the eldritch pit, is comparison to the bandit camps?
Question #3: Credit why would you want to try and get into a relationship with a goblin furry? Warbob Sexlizard is clearly a lizardsexual.

Well, the Dwarf quest has a ten turn time limit and has the words "very easy" next to it, so we might be able to complete it even if we leave the bulk of our forces on the eastern front.

Question #1: How many turns away is Stackleburg from where we are now?
Question #2: How much of a threat is the eldritch pit, in comparison to the bandit camps?
Question #3: Credit why would you want to try and get into a relationship with a goblin furry? Warbob Sexlizard is clearly a lizardsexual.

We can't actually see the rebel forces, so it's hard to gauge precisely how strong they are. It most likely is a problem that could easily be solved with a subset of our forces, but the remainder may have trouble fighting Stackleburg without incurring heavy losses, as the humans currently field a capital defense force of unknown power and a roaming defense stack of five units.

1) At least 2 turns of travel to the city hex, more likely 3.
The Dwarf outpost is in the exact opposite direction, so simply reaching Stackleburg and then heading to the outpost would cut things close, but may be possible.

2) They will probably not run, but given that we have two additional units, including the ranged Jester, we shouldn't suffer any losses.

-A halfling jester with a rocket launcher. This really is an age of wonders.

They claim that it's only fireworks, but it does serious damage and can daze enemies.

Also, we can currently afford to 'Hurry' production on our baths. This will cost 100 gold and give us a happiness penalty for five turns, but this penalty is exactly offset by the happiness bonus of the baths. Essentially, this means we're spending 100 gold to start production on our next building (Hospital or Siege Workshop) two turns sooner, at the cost of 100 gold and it taking two turns longer for the happiness bonus to kick in.

Okay let's go help out our Dwarf friends first then. (I'm pretty sure that the humans have to march past a pit and a bandit camp before they can reach us anyway, so we probably have plenty of time before we have to deal with them.)

Stackelburg is a neutral settlement, so I don't think they're going to go on the offensive. Just in case, we'll have our spy drone keep tabs on the area.

While en route, we will be passing by a gold mine and the magma forge, giving us the opportunity to clear out their current hostile inhabitants while on our way to assist our allies. In the process, we acquire some quite useful bonus gold and experience. Both of our heroes have now leveled up!

Warbob Sexlizard's first upgrade must, of course, be Imperial Authority. This will increase the morale of our army, which is nice, but more importantly is a reminder of Warbob Sexlizard's mandate to rule.

For Imane, we have a choice - we can either give the units under her command cold resistance (which is nice in that it offsets the Draconians innate vulnerability) or give her the ability to subjugate animals that we encounter to our cause. There are other abilities available as well, but these are the coolest ones.

Additionally, word of Lizardheim's progress towards Progress has spread across the land, and an additional hero wishes to join the forces of Warbob Sexlizard.

She goes by the name Tianne the Monster Slayer, but given her facial scarring and low level, does not appear to have much of a resume of slaying monsters. Shall we hire her, or send her on her way?

150 seems a bit much for an uppity warlord like her. I wish the "fight" button was highlighted :/

As before, spending gold to achieve quicker progress is a commendable use of it so let's hurry those baths. The Council chambers are starting to stink, after all.

How useful would having another Hero be for our military? Would she need another stack to command, or can she augment our existing forces?

As before, spending gold to achieve quicker progress is a commendable use of it so let's hurry those baths. The Council chambers are starting to stink, after all.

How useful would having another Hero be for our military? Would she need another stack to command, or can she augment our existing forces?

We currently have a total of 10 units, so she would be able to join up with one of our armies as the 5th unit in our second stack. Heroes are all pretty decent in combat - she would have melee abilities on par with our cavalry, as well as access to a ranged attack of some sort (which can be modified with equipment) and combat spells. Warlord spells are mostly buff oriented. Spell costs are taken from our kingdom's global mana reserves, but there is also a limit to the amount of mana that each hero can spend per turn (starting at 20, and able to be increased when they level up). The combat spells that we research are capable of being cast by Warbob Sexlizard in battles in which Warbob Sexlizard directly participates, and may also be cast in battles without Warbob Sexlizard, albeit at double their cost. Warlords can also provide valuable bonuses to armies that they command (similar to the morale bonus that Warbob Sexlizard gives for Warbob Sexlizard's Imperial Authority and the potential cold resistance offered by the archdruid), but these bonuses typically require them to be higher level, which in turn would require Tianne to get experience in combat.

150 seems a bit much for an uppity warlord like her. I wish the "fight" button was highlighted :/

We have no troops in our capital, at the moment, so there is no one there to fight her. We could turn around and do that, but it would take up another turn of moving both to get there and to get back west towards the dwarven outpost.

We have no troops in our capital, at the moment, so there is no one there to fight her. We could turn around and do that, but it would take up another turn of moving both to get there and to get back west towards the dwarven outpost.

Would we get anything substantial through her defeat?

We have no troops in our capital, at the moment, so there is no one there to fight her. We could turn around and do that, but it would take up another turn of moving both to get there and to get back west towards the dwarven outpost.

Would we get anything substantial through her defeat?

Only experience and whatever items she's carrying. She's unlikely to have anything valuable.

Decline :<

Might as well hire her, we have the coin to spare and plenty of mines to replenish it.

That's one and one. We are now looking for a tie breaking vote regarding the future of Tianne the Monster Slayer.

[22:50:06] <Sai> Tiebreaking vote needed in the Age of Wonders LP - https://eagle-time.org/showthread.php?ti...#pid101395
[22:52:09] <Chwoka> Sai: i'll issue it blindly
[22:52:16] <Chwoka> just tell me what the two tied options are
[22:52:31] <Sai> Ok, so we're a race of draconian progressives
[22:52:34] <Sai> Literally draconians
[22:52:53] <Chwoka> but are we also figuratively draconian?
[22:52:57] <Sai> Yes.
[22:53:01] <Chwoka> k
[22:53:09] <Sai> Our army is afield roughly one turn from our base, heading to suppress a rebellion in the lands of our recently met allies
[22:53:14] <Sai> well, not allies, but friends
[22:53:29] <Chwoka> how long is a turn? a minute, a day, a month?
[22:53:29] <Sai> at our capital, a human warlord offered to join us for 150 gold (we have 400something atm)
[22:53:34] <Sai> Yep
[22:53:47] <Sai> It says it's a day, but it's really not
[22:54:00] <Sai> Month is probably closer
[22:54:17] <Sai> The question is whether to hire this warlord or not
[22:55:08] <Chwoka> last question: are they ugly?
[22:55:16] <Chwoka> the warlord
[22:55:18] <Sai> https://i.gyazo.com/68360574baa5d4cb6ea6...d6eb37.png
[22:55:58] <Chwoka> that's a firm no
[22:56:13] <Sai> k
[22:56:25] <Chwoka> well i don't think you should be hiring a pretty warlord, you're gonna want one that's been truly pockmarked with experience
[22:56:39] <Sai> She is missing an eye
[22:56:46] <Chwoka> sure they've got a scar and a missing eye, but that's ONE battle wound, and otherwise they look like... what, 19?
[22:56:49] <Sai> but that might just mean that she's a shitty monster hunter
[22:57:11] <Chwoka> i don't care if she's a lady, i should see some gray hairs on that chin
[22:57:40] <Sai> Roger. Warlord will be rejected

And so Tiane has been rejected. Production is finished on our public baths and begins on the Warbob Sexlizard Hospital at Lizardheim. With 254 gold remaining after our capture of the last of the gold mines that lies on our path and paying for the base price of the hospital, we can just barely afford to rush it and complete its construction instantly. However, this would leave us with insufficient funds on the following turn to build anything.

We have finally made our way to the dwarven outpost. We engage the rebel prospectors just outside of the borders of the outpost on an open, muddy field in the wetlands.

Our high morale units under Warbob Sexlizard's command score multiple critical hits to make the battle a swift victory. However, something is wrong. It seems as though the dwarves have reneged on their end of the bargain. Since the rebels had already left the borders of the dwarven outpost, they no longer saw them as a threat. In spite of having come all of this way, these slightly evil dwarves will neither give us the soldiers promised nor join our budding empire without a hefty bribe.


Our forces are easily strong enough to take the outpost by force, though doing so would be considered an evil act. Should we bribe them to join our empire, continue to ignore them as we had initially set out to do, or punish their dishonesty and capture the settlement by force?

Also, Tianne has seemingly not accepted our refusal, and offers again to join us for the same price.

How is going to war with them evil? If they are, in fact, even a little evil, and they've proven as much, they'll hinder so many of our conquests. AND WE CAN'T AFFORD HINDERING

Also, Tianne has seemingly not accepted our refusal, and offers again to join us for the same price.

decline yet again