Post making contest 3.0

things we learnt from the latest discord games session:

bob's middle name is gerald
eat an entire xbox
cool runnings

This is update #111.

Well, the last track was a bit shit. Literally. And figuratively.

I tend to struggle with Herbert when he's being serious, and despite what you might think this is most likely him being serious if it's been released under his full name. I won't judge it properly after just the one playthrough, but I don't think the "forty minutes of him snoring, fifteen minutes of him breathing, five minutes of static" track is going to get much speaker time...

Also, I put some trousers on to put milk in my tea.

End of message.

Passes 4.

At least two.

Passes 2.

AM I PSYCHIC OR WHAT?

Passes 2 and 4.

This is update #106.

I stopped for a moment to put the kettle on, and to take my shirt off again, because that felt right.

I'm sure you're all delighted to hear that.

End of message.

dogs

Passes 1, 2, and 5.

This is update #112.

To cap off my naked liveblog of naked ambient noise, here's some Herbert when he's not being serious:



It's been a pleasure. I'll hop on Discord now, though whether or not I'll actually work on solving this I don't know.

End of message.

Passes 5.

This is update #113.



End of message.

Passes 5.

maybe the rules are something we haven't figured out yet

Passes 4.

You can cage a swallow, can't you, but you can't swallow a cage, can you?

Passes 2.

Degas, are we not drawn onward, no? In union, drawn onward to new eras aged?

Passes 2 and 5.

ursa major

Passes 3.

This is update #114.

Aries! Taurus! Gemini! Cancer! Leo! Virgo! Libra! Scorpio! Sagittarius! Capricorn! Aquarius! Pisces! Orion! Pegasus! Ursa Minor!

End of message.

Passes 4.

Here in the space consortium
You look through the keyhole
This is the space consortium
One step through the doorway

Roll out that special dog
This is our favorite one
Please don't try to leave
Don't leave the space consortium

Hide underneath the porch
Hide down behind the furnace
You can't get away
You can't really hide
Once you hear the call
The song of the space consortium

You can't run away
Your feet won't help you run
You can't run away
Out of the space consortium

Passes rule 2.

Show Content

Spoiler
Dig my grave Dig my grave
Every time I look in your eyes I see St. Peter wave
Dig my grave Dig my grave
Every time you call my name I hear the angels say
Dig my grave Dig my grave Dig my grave Dig my grave Dig my grave

Someday Mother will die and I'll get the money Mom leans down and says, "My sentiments exactly You son of a bitch" I palindrome I (I palindrome I) I palindrome I (I palindrome I) And I am a snake head eating (snake head) The head on the opposite side (snake head) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam)
See that bulletproof dress hanging from the clothesline See the medical chart with the random zig-zag Now I'll help it decide I palindrome I (I palindrome I) I palindrome I (I palindrome I) And I am a snake head eating (snake head) The head on the opposite side (snake head) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam)
"Son, I am able," she said "Though you scare me." "Watch" Said I. "Beloved," I said "Watch me scare you, though" Said she, "Able am I, Son"
See the spring of the grandfather clock unwinding (Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age) See the hands of my offspring making windmills (Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age) Dad palindrome Dad I palindrome I (I palindrome I) I palindrome I (I palindrome I) And I am a snake head eating (snake head) The head on the opposite side (snake head) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam) I palindrome I (manonam)

"We take you to Brooklyn."
Words fail Buildings tumble The ground opens wide Light beams down from heaven She stands before my eyes
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me Squares may look distant in her rear view mirror But they're actual size As she drives away
Big men Often tremble As they step aside I thought I was big once She changed my mind
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me (Size!) I've never known anybody like her She's actual size Nationwide, believe
She's got All the money Money couldn't buy She's got something special That someone left behind
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me Squares may look distant in her rear view mirror But they're actual size Actual size to her
Her face Hangs in portrait On the post office wall She's stuck in my heart now Where my blood belongs
She's actual size, but she seems much bigger to me (Size!) I've never known anybody like her She's actual size Actual size, believe

My evil twin Bad weather friend He always wants to start when I want to begin It scares me so Like I scare myself With that book of Nostradamus Up upon my shelf
Playing hangman till the morning light Doing donuts on the neighbor's lawn Then sleep all through the day Get up and start again I can hear some sirens somewhere But I don't know why
My evil twin Runs home again Search lights look for an alibi, but I'll be home by then
Here he comes again My evil twin My friends have seen him hiding Underneath my skin
Who cut the arm off the voodoo doll That resembles a Republican president from long ago I'd hate to see you leave 'Cause I have grown so grateful for the Blame you save me from
My twin My twin My twin
(My twin) I know he looks like me (My twin) Hates work like me and walks like me (My twin) He's even got a twin like me
My evil twin Bad weather friend I know some day I'll meet him But I don't know where or when

Glass of milk Standing in between extinction in the cold And explosive radiating growth So the warm blood flows Through the large four-chambered heart Maintaining the very high metabolism rate they have
Mammal, mammal (Mammal, mammal) Their names are called They raise a paw The bat, the cat Dolphin and dog (Mammal) Koala bear and hog (Mammal)
One of us might lose his hair But you're reminded that it once was there From the embryonic whale to the monkey with no tail So the warm blood flows With the red blood cells lacking nuclei Through the large four-chambered heart Maintaining the very high metabolism rate they have
Mammal, mammal (Mammal, mammal) Their names are called They raise a paw The bat, the cat Dolphin and dog (Mammal) Koala bear and hog (Mammal)
Placental the sister of her brother Marsupial Their cousin called Monotreme Dead uncle Allotheria
Mammal, mammal (Mammal, mammal) Their names are called They raise a paw The bat, the cat Dolphin and dog (Mammal) Koala bear and hog (Mammal) The fox, the ox (Mammal) Giraffe and shrew (Mammal) Echidna, caribou

The statue got me high (high) The statue got me high (high) The monument of granite sent a beam into my eye
The statue made me die (die) The statue made me die (die) It took my hand, it killed me, and it turned me to the sky
The stone, it called to me (and now I see the things the stone has shown to me) A rock that spoke a word (an animated mineral, it can be heard)
And though I once preferred a human being's company They pale before the monolith that towers over me
The statue got me high (high) The statue got me high (high) The truth is where the sculptor's chisel chipped away the lie
The statue made me fry (fry) The statue made me fry (fry) My coat contained a furnace where there used to be a guy
The stone, it called to me (and now I see the things the stone has shown to me) A rock that spoke a word (an animated mineral, it can be heard)
And as the screaming fire engine siren filled the air The evidence had vanished from my charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue standing where the statue got me high And what they found was just a statue standing where the statue got me high
And now it is your turn (your turn to hear the stone and then your turn to burn) The stone, it calls to you (you can't refuse to do the things it tells you to)
And as the screaming fire engine siren fills the air The evidence will vanish from your charred and smoking chair
And what they found was just a statue standing where the statue got me high And what they'll find is just a statue standing where the statue got you high

Ladies and gentlemen Ladies and gentlemen
Coopidy coop coop cadoo Coopidy coop coop cadoo Coopidy coop coop cadoo Coopidy coop coop cadoo
Spider He is our hero Spider Get rid of Spider Step on spider Spider We love you spider
I promise not to kill you Spider
Spider We love you spider Spider Get rid of Spider Must stop Spider He is our hero

Hey Who's that playing Hey The guitar?
Is it Jim? I don't know Is it Jim? I don't know
In the spaceship, the silver spaceship the lion takes control In the spaceship, the silver spaceship the lion takes control
Hey Who's that playing Hey The guitar?
Hush my darling, be still my darling The lion's on the phone Hush my darling, be still my darling The lion's on the phone
Hush my darling, be still my darling Hey Hush my darling, be still my darling Hey
Turn it up The guitar I can't hear The guitar
Five, three, four, five (gibberish) (Cow mooing) (gibberish)
In the spaceship, the silver spaceship the lion waves goodbye In the spaceship, the silver spaceship the lion waves goodbye
Hey Who's that playing Hey The guitar?
Hey Hey Hey Hey

I've been leaving on my things So in the morning when the morning bird sings There's still dinner on my dinner Jacket till the dinner bell rings
Experimental dog (I-I re-re-heat-heat my-my soup-soup) Salivating dog (give-give it-it a-a good-good look-look) Good dog (and-and walk-walk a-a way) Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ring
I've been leaving on my things So in the morning when the morning bird sings There's still dinner on my dinner Jacket till the dinner bell rings
I don't want a pizza, I don't want a piece of (experimental dog) Peanut brittle, I don't want a pear I don't want a bagel, I don't want a bean I (salivating dog) Wouldn't like a bag of beef or a beer or a Cup of chowder, corn, cake, or creamed cauliflower cause I'm (good dog) Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ring
Shoulder, bicep, elbow, arm Forearm, thumb, wrist, knuckle, palm Middle, pinky, index, ring Dinner bell, dinner bell, ding
I don't know whether I'd rather be having a bottle of vinegar (experimental dog) I don't know whether I'd rather be having an egg I don't know whether I'd rather be having an order of bacon (salivating dog) Or whether I'd rather be having a basket of garlic bread I don't know whether I'd rather be having some pie or (good dog) Saving my appetite 'cause I'm Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ring
I've been leaving on my things (I've been leaving on) So in the morning when the morning bird sings (the morning) There's still dinner on my dinner (on my) Jacket till the dinner bell does the bell thing Dinner bell, dinner bell, do the bell thing I'm waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ding ding ding Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ding ding ding Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding) Dinner bell, dinner bell, ding

I don't want to change your mind I don't want to think about your mind They say love is blind I don't think you're blind
You don't want to understand I don't want to shake your father's hand And walk in the sand And act like a man
I get on the bus Ride past our stop And though I'm late I can't get off I just can't bear to tell you some lies And narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes
We'll take back every thing we said Split up all the things and move ahead Forgot how you said We'll split the side off the bed
I get on my bike Ride down our block Ride through the world Through the green lights But when I think of all your advice I narrow my eyes Narrow my eyes
I don't want to change your mind I don't want to think about your mind They say love is blind I don't think you're blind
I get on the bus Ride past our stop And though I'm late I can't get off I just can't bear to tell you some lies And narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes
Now let's toast the sad cold fact Our love's never coming back And we'll race to the bottom of a glass
So narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes Narrow your eyes

Here in the hall of heads You look through the keyhole This is the hall of heads One step through the doorway
Roll out that special head This is our favorite one Please don't try to leave Don't leave the hall of heads
Hide underneath the porch Hide down behind the furnace You can't get away You can't really hide Once you hear the call The song of the hall of heads
You can't run away Your feet won't help you run You can't run away Out of the hall of heads

I lay my head On the railroad track Stare at the sky All painted up Your train is gone, won't be coming back
See the constellation ride across the sky No cigar, no lady on his arm Just a guy made of dots and lines Just a guy made of dots and lines
Two years ago Moved from my town I was looking up Past the city lights But the city lights got in my way
See the constellation ride across the sky No cigar, no lady on his arm Just a guy made of dots and lines Just a guy made of dots and lines
I found my mind On the ground below I was looking down It was looking back I was in the sky, all dressed in black
See the constellation ride across the sky No cigar, no lady on his arm Just a guy made of dots and lines Just a guy made of dots and lines Just a guy made of dots and lines
Can you hear what I see in the sky? Can you hear what I see in the sky? Can you hear what I see in the sky?

If I wasn't shy If I wasn't shy
I'd burn all the uniforms I'd burn all the "Ask Me" buttons I'd burn all the intercoms I'd burn all the time clock cards
If I wasn't shy If I wasn't shy
I'd steal somebody's Cadillac I'd steal anything I lack I'd steal all the microphones From all the masters of ceremony
If I wasn't shy If I wasn't shy
I'd ask you, if you don't mind To kiss you a hundred times
If I wasn't shy If I wasn't shy

I was working all night in my office When a man I had recently killed Called me up from a phone near my building So I looked out the window at him He had the same obsequious manner That was the reason I had him killed So to calm my nerves I sang this song To him, over the phone
Turn around, turn around There's a thing there that can be found Turn around, turn around It's a human skull on the ground Human skull on the ground Turn around
I was out by myself in the graveyard I was doing an interpretive dance When I felt something heavy and pointed Strike me in the back of my neck And then the ghost of my dance instructor Pushed me down into an open grave And as dirt rained down she played a xylophone And sang me this song
Turn around, turn around There's a thing there that can be found Turn around, turn around It's a human skull on the ground Human skull on the ground Turn around
We were waving our arms out the window Of a fast moving passenger train Acting in an irresponsible fashion Until the engineer whose back had been turned And who we thought would find us highly amusing Quickly swiveled his head around And his face which was a paper-white mask of evil Sang us this song
Turn around, (round) turn around (round) There's a thing there that can be found (there's a thing there that can be) Turn around, (found) turn around (round) It's a human skull on the ground (it's a human skull on the) Human skull (ground) on the ground (round) Turn around (turn around, turn around)
Turn around, (round) turn around (round) There's a thing there that can be found (there's a thing there that can be) Turn around, (found) turn around (round) It's a human skull on the ground (it's a human skull on the) Human skull (ground) on the ground (round) Turn around (turn around, turn around)

He's a hypnotist, hypnotist of ladies He's a hypnotist, hypnotist of ladies You're getting sleepy, very sleepy
He's a hypnotist, hypnotist of ladies Never had a pocket watch, never counted backwards You won't remember why you liked him You won't remember why you liked him

Everything is catching, yes Everything is catching on fire (Everything's catching on) Yeah (fire) (Everything is catching on fire)

Fingertips Fingertips Fingertips

I hear the wind blow I hear the wind blow It seems to say "Hello, hello I'm the one who loves you so."

Hey now everybody, now Hey now everybody Hey now everybody, now

Who's that standin' Out the window?

I found a new friend underneath my pillow

A come on (come on) and wreck my car A come on (come on) and wreck my car A come on (come on) and wreck my car A come on (come on) and wreck my car

Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye? Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?

Please pass the milk, please Please pass the milk, please Please pass the milk, please

Leave me alone Leave me alone

Who's knockin' on the wall?

All alone, all alone All by myself

What's that blue thing doing here?

Something grabbed a hold of my hand I didn't know what had my hand But that's when all my troubles began

I don't understand you (I don't understand you) I just don't understand you (I don't understand you) I don't understand the things you say I can't understand a single word
I don't understand you (I don't understand you) I just don't understand you (I don't understand you) I cannot understand you (I don't understand you) I don't understand you (I don't understand you)

I heard a sound I turned around Turned around to find the thing that made the sound

Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper Mysterious whisper

The day that love came to play

I'm having a heart attack I'm having a heart attack I'm having a heart attack I'm having a heart attack

Fingertips Fingertips

I walk along darkened corridors And I walk along darkened corridors I walk along darkened corridors And I walk along darkened corridors

Passes 1, 3, and 4

only laser can free us now

(please lock this thread as an act of kindness to us all)

the sun is not a mass of incandescent gas

** lock this thread, oh gods above **

[eerily coherent wailing]

dog

Passes 1 and 3.

This is update #115.

"Dog is now apparently our safeword" - a thing I actually said to Ix just now.

End of message.

Passes 4.

i'm not quoting that

Passes 1, 2, 3 and 5.

polaris the northern star big dipper ursa major ursa minor small dipper northern star is polaris

Passes 3.

This is update #114.

Aries! Taurus! Gemini! Cancer! Leo! Virgo! Libra! Scorpio! Sagittarius! Capricorn! Aquarius! Pisces! Orion! Pegasus! Ursa Minor!

End of message.

You also forgot Andromeda, Antlia, Apus, Aquila, Ara, Auriga, Boötes, Caelum, Camelopardalis, Canes Venatici, Canis Major, Canis Minor, Carina, Cassiopeia, Centaurus, Cepheus, Cetus, Chamaeleon, Circinus, Columba, Coma Berenices, Corona Austrina, Corona Borealis, Corvus, Crater, Crux, Cygnus, Delphinus, Dorado, Draco, Equuleus, Eridanus, Fornax, Grus, Hercules, Horologium, Hydra, Hydrus, Indus, Lacerta, Leo Minor, Lepus, Lupus, Lynx, Lyra, Mensa, Microscopium, Monoceros, Musca, Norma, Octans, Ophiuchus, Pavo, Perseus, Phoenix, Pictor, Piscis Austrinus, Puppis, Pyxis, Reticulum, Sagitta, Sculptor, Scutum, Serpens, Sextans, Telescopium, Triangulum, Triangulum Australe, Tucana, Vela, Volans, and Vulpecula.

Oh shit this passes 4 and is definitely not a hastily edited in judgement.

I'm at work so I'm not validating right now but for those that aren't privy to secret chats, here's the list of potential rule titles.

Dig My Grave
I Palindrome I
She's Actual Size
My Evil Twin
The Statue Got Me High
Mammal
Spider
The Guitar
Dinner Bell
Narrow Your Eyes
Hall Of Heads
Which Describes How You're Feeling
See the Constellation
If I Wasn't Shy
Turn Around
Hypnotist of Ladies
Fingertips
Space Suit

Passes 1. Wow, me, I expected more from you.

I'm at work so I'm not validating right now but for those that aren't privy to secret chats, here's the list of potential rule titles.

Dig My Grave
I Palindrome I
She's Actual Size
My Evil Twin
The Statue Got Me High
Mammal
Spider
The Guitar
Dinner Bell
Narrow Your Eyes
Hall Of Heads
Which Describes How You're Feeling
See the Constellation
If I Wasn't Shy
Turn Around
Hypnotist of Ladies
Fingertips
Space Suit

And for those who aren't in the Discord and so have missed out on our deductive process, "I Palindrome I", "Which Describes How You're Feeling" and "Fingertips" are three of them.

Passes 4.

[size=actual]She[/size]

Passes 3, made me chuckle.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Passes 4.

"...is that freshwater? That is freshwater. It's not too greedy going for this, I need the culture... all right, cheaper amphitheatres. Eight turns on the engineer. Hmph." A man, a plan, a canal: panama. I'm real glad.

Passes 1, 4, and 5.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

Passes 4.

eadgbe

Passes 3.

What has a twin

Passes 4.

Do I get any credit for this ridiculously lame pun attempt at passing one of those?

Passes 5, unfortunately.

Eight

Passes 3.

I am eight kinds of happy yppah fo sdnik thgie ma I.

Passes 1, 2, and 5.

dnuora nrut

Passes 3.

seye thgirb

Passes 2.

trapa llaf i neht dna won yreve

Passes 5.

TRAPA LLAF I NEHT DNA WON YREVE

Passes 3.

thginot won uoy deen I dnA
reve naht erom uoy deen I dnA
thgit em dloh ylno uoy fi dnA
reverof no gnidloh eb ll'eW
thgir ti gnikam eb ylno ll'ew dnA
gnorw eb reven ll'ew esuaC'
enil eht fo dne eht ot ti ekat nac ew rehtegoT
emit eht fo lla em no wodahs a ekil si evol ruoY
(emit eht fo llA)
od ot tahw wonk t'nod I
krad eht ni syawla m'I
skraps ffo gnivig dna gek redwop a ni gniviL
thginot uoy deen yllaer I
thginot trats annog s'reveroF
(thginot trats annog s'reveroF)

Passes 4.

things we learnt from the latest discord games session:

bob's middle name is gerald
eat an entire xbox
cool runnings

Passes 2.

Passes 5.

ton mi i'm not quoting that

also Laser I am very happy that someone who knew what they were singing had a go at "Hall of Weird Dogs"

it sounds amazing

This is update #116.

You'll be happy to hear that I've just spent quarter of an hour looking at the tracklists of my hastily-decided five favourite albums.

And got, what, only two ideas?

That's probably for the best.

End of message.

i don't recall posting 'i'm not quoting that' so i figure that's probably the amalgamation again.

also, if nothing else i'm glad this round has brought us hall of the weird dogs. thanks laser that was a real good rendition.

You're right, dammit. In which case, "freshwater" is still the best post because it doesn't pass either of the two non-random rules we know, so it presumably must pass the others?

"...is that freshwater? That is freshwater. It's not too greedy going for this,

I need the culture... all right, cheaper amphitheatres. Eight turns on the engineer. Hmph."

Eight turns on the engineer.

That's a weirdly specific fetish but okay, whatever works.

This is update #117.

I've just about managed to wrangle an ordering of nine albums that I would happily classify as my "favourites". For neatness, it really should extend to ten. There are currently more candidates for that tenth slot than there are albums already on the list.

End of message.

now i'm really tempted to try to figure out what my favourite album would be. kind of a shitty use of my time but sure why not.

This is update #118.

...can I have a double album, or is that cheating? And even then, there are two...

End of message.

actually before we go ranking albums we have to decide which dog is 'that special dog' the one that is our favourite one.

as far as i see it, there's two contenders:



and



cast your votes now!

This is update #119.

I turned to last.fm for help, and then turned to this for presenting my findings:



These are my 25 most played albums, and 6 of 9 of my favourites are there, along with 5 of 11 candidates. Well, at the moment anyway. I don't think that's a static image.

End of message.

Ix you know I am going to be incredibly biased in my voting right?

This is update #120.

I made a 10x10 grid and now I have 14 candidates.

...maybe I need a top 25? Or a more thematically appropriate top 40?

End of message.

This is update #121.



@2:45 "We sit very close and very still. Clouds were ??? the sky and all you could think to say was blue"

WHAT IS THAT WORD? IT MIGHT ME TWO, I'M NOT ENTIRELY SURE, BUT WHAT IS THAT WORD?

End of message.

i'm hearing "Clouds would telescope the sky" but i have no idea whether that's wishful thinking.

actually before we go ranking albums we have to decide which dog is 'that special dog' the one that is our favourite one.

as far as i see it, there's one contender:



cast your votes now!

There we go, fixed that up for you.

i'm hearing "Clouds would telescope the sky" but i have no idea whether that's wishful thinking.

"telescope" certainly fits the general sound (I cleaned up slightly in Audacity), but it doesn't make the most sense? I dunno.

Also Kíeros you definitely have the right idea there.

sruix i'm curious what differentiates a regular post from an update post. I mean I know that it's the standard opening and closing but it seems like that last post could have been an update. What essentially is the criterion for a post being an update is essentially what i'm asking i guess.

This is update #122.

I have absolutely no idea.

End of message.