Real talk: Why do you love the goblin queen?

She got turned into a vampire but she still walks around during the daytime by sheer force of will, and she only attacks people like once every few weeks or so tops.

She beat kaizo mario

She temporarily saved my soul from by defeating the devil in a game of tic-tac-toe. (Okay actually it was more like a series of 50 tied games in a row until he eventually just got bored and decided to let us both go, but hey she still won!)

Anyway, the moral of this story is that tic-tac-toe is a really bad and shitty game.

I once saw her catch a salmon with her bare hands.

Actually I have a hatred for monarchies but I do appreciate how lax she is with her executions.

She got turned into a vampire but she still walks around during the daytime by sheer force of will, and she only attacks people like once every few weeks or so tops.

But she's always done that.

She outlawed all Chuck Norris jokes and sentences all offenders to life in prison.

She outlawed all Chuck Norris jokes and sentences all offenders to life in prison.

Thank you Goblin Queen.

But she wrote this book!

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And I have it now!

I want a refund

Credit, why do you own such contraband? For shame.

I don't know, I saw some of the jokes and said "haha" and then when I brought it home I saw the racist ones and hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

because the used book store I got it from is an hour's drive away.

I'm sorry for your loss. Of freedom. Because y'know, you're being indicted. Let me just randomly pick out your jury.

Your Jury:
Intox, TehPilot, Daffidill, FelixSparks, Palamedes and Mechanical Author. The Goblin Queen makes up the other half of the jury. I will be today's judge. Plead your case.

I plead that this fruitcase is guilty.

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The fruits are in league with Chuck Norris and framed me

She has watched every video on YouTube.

Okay, I believe you and not because you bribed me under the desk.

I'm throwing the case out of court though, because those pears have long since rotted away.

She has watched every video on YouTube.

She is every video on YouTube.

She fought with goblin!
She battled the trolls!
She riddled with Gollum!
The magic ring she stole!
She was chased by wolves,
Lost in the forest,
Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls.

It's Goblin's (Goblin's) Goblin's Goblin's
Goblin's Goblin's Goblin's Goblin's Goblin's

I love the goblin queen because she is an Eagletimer

whatiffffffff... pinary IS GOBLIN

if Pinary, the purported king of eagle-time, is betrothed, his wife is the goblin queen. And she will have no idea she is being worshipped

Way back (talking way back), when I was in elementary school, I was really into walking along this little wooden wall that was built around the tanbark-filled playground. It was around five inches wide, so it was pretty difficult to stay on it, but I was able to maintain my balance fairly well. One day, I decided to see how quickly I could walk across it and soon found that it wasn't that hard to go fast and keep balanced. Soon I started to jog, then run, until I was at a dead sprint on this narrow band of wood. While this was fine for the straight portion, when I reached the corner I didn't want to step off since I'd stayed on for so long, and tripped while trying to turn. I fell right past the edge of the playground and onto the concrete, badly skinning my elbow. Luckily for me, the Goblin Queen was there to put a bandaid on my booboo, give me a hug, and tell me that everything would be okay. Within just a minute I had dried my eyes and was back on my feet, running and laughing with the other kids. From that day on, I've always loved the Goblin Queen.

i love the goblin queen because she lets me make goblinsonas in her image.

She helps me get good.

q: can I be a gobline too

Thou art gobline