Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

"Okay seriously guys." Detective Garland pipes up in the quiet that follows. "Do you know how bad it's going to look that you just straight up murdered someone while I was standing right here. Next time could you give me a little heads up so I can go and take a quick plausible deniability break?"

"That said I guess it seems that Rivenforge was a criminal sooo I don't see any reason to press charges." He paused. "You know, in a way that murder was pretty much a public service. Blazer, if you'd like I could put in a good word with the Vista Paolo Police Department when this is all over. I'm sure they'd appreciate someone with such a dynamic approach to crime and punishment."

"Oh and thanks to those of you who took the time to fill in my form." He said almost as an afterthought. "I'm sure your help will prove to be invaluable in taking down this international menace."

do you know what shank means

"Shank" and "shoot" are five letters long and start with S so yes I can confuse the two.

Shankvote: Kíeros

Shankvote: Kieros.

electvote: Nah.

"Shank" and "shoot" are five letters long and start with S so yes I can confuse the two.

here is what you do friend just think about Tom Hanks because Tom Hanks is a name but Tom Hoots is not and therefore sHanks not sHoots

makes perfect sense amirite

speaking of friendship shank: TehPilot

friends don't let friends go unshanked

Gentlemen. I have a proposition.

Our host appears to believe that, based on a few simple words, we will devolve into a massive murder suicide pact. He honestly believes that a great promise that he's offered with no contract to back it up will lead us all into a frenzy of murder and death for his amusement. We've already had at least one death to prove that some here may actually do it.

But I believe that today, we can prove our host incorrect. We are, in fact, sane men and women here. No one else has to die for this madman's pleasure. I suggest two things.

First, we vote No Group Shank to prove that we are all sane, honorable people here.

Secondly, let's tear this resort... up-start-down.

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ RIOT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ

Destroy both of the packages.

32.


Do you know what that number means?


Well, it's 2⁵, a deficient number, the freezing point of water in the insipid Fahrenheit system, the atomic number of Germanium, the number of Steve Carlton and Sandy Koufax, and the unicode identifier of space.


But that's not what I mean.


And yes, I did just scroll down Wikipedia for a list of items.


Anyway, on to the main point.


That's the record for most deaths in one night in a mafia game.


Well, SaB2 actually had 35 on night 2, but that was the one with the angles and the humus and the Damons, so there were different types of deaths, so that sort of counts.


In either case, there's going to be 68 of you going in to tonight, and you have a serious chance of breaking that record.


As sensible shankers, you know what you have to do.


That's right, you need to all agree on one person to shank tonight to make the most killed person


Because why in the world would you go for quantity when you can go for quality of shanking?


And what is a higher quality shanking than receiving 68 shanks?


The answer is receiving 69 shanks.


And possibly 70, too.


I don't even know why I'm triple spacing these.


But the point still stands.


The point on the tip of my shanking tool.


Shank thirty(-three), my friends; shank thirty(-three).

EBWOP

On second thought, who am I kidding with this sanity business.

Groupshank: Chocolate Pi

I can almost taste it.

Guns aren't cool bro. Guns aren't cool.
: (

Guns aren't cool bro. Guns aren't cool.
: (

Objection

Show Content

Spoiler

shankvote: anacreon

bye riven :(

lynch: Kieros, unelect: Kieros, elect: Tehpilot

RIVENFORGE HAS BEEN BAYONETDAYSHANKED

Yesss

also, kieros

Oof, apologies for not posting in this. I kinda don't like jumping on a bandwagon, but hating bugs is unforgivable.

Shank: Kíeros
Elect: MalkyTop
Elect: Schazer

SHANK: X1372 YOU DAMN DIRTY HYPOCRITE

THIS IS ALL KIEROS' FAULT


(no I don't know whats going on shuddup)

SHANK: KIEROS

MalkyTop is going to win some kind of "Most different shanklynchvotes in one day". I propose that it be called: "God of ADD".

also, kieros

If I'm evil, don't I need to monologue, though? It's in the evil person's handbook (not the evil overlord list) that you need to lord you position over your enemies instead of killing them there, thus allowing enough time for them to stage a miraculous recovery. Preferably, this is done by a monologue during this time, but it can be accomplished by other options.

I'M NOT A FREAKING GOD I TOLD YOU I AM A GODDESS STOP YOUR MISGENDERING BULLSHIT SHUT UP

KIEROS I FORGET IF I HATED YOU AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER OR IF YOU COMMITTED A CRIME OF BLASPHEMY AGAINST ME BUT YOUR HATRED OF BUGS SHALL MAKE YOU A MARTYR THIS I SWEAR #BUGSAREGROSS2014

SHANK: SPEEDCHUCK

sweet dreeeaaams

Since I'm in a particularly bureaucratic mood I would like to inspect the packages and check for any sort of delivery tags, stamps, etc.

do you know what shank means

"Shank" and "shoot" are five letters long and start with S so yes I can confuse the two.

Shankvote: Kíeros

they start with sh, not just s
feeble minded commoner
you don't see the big picture

Guys, guys. You are not doing the most important thing and the important thing is electing packages to Fogel (Parcel 1) and me (Parcel 2, also btw I am the clearly superior Whale Princess).

An elect for us is an elect for you because mark my words, there will be one epic shankdown that will make everything seem like dying dwarf stars by comparison. It will be glorious I tell you. Glorious.

Also everyone will get a free coffee if they so elect. This may or may not be a lie but won't you like to find out?

Since I'm in a particularly bureaucratic mood I would like to inspect the packages and check for any sort of delivery tags, stamps, etc.

I eat the packages because bureaucracy is my job and if I'm not allowed to do my job then NOBODY CAN

MalkyTop is going to win some kind of "Most different shanklynchvotes in one day". I propose that it be called: "God of ADD".

I'm pretty sure that she's compelled to lynch for whoever mentions her name blasphemously. Watch.

MalkyTop: you are a sham of a goddess, and you deserve to lose all of your followers in a divine cataclysm.

GARURU YOU ARE SLANDEROUS SCUM TO EVEN THINK YOU CAN PREDICT MY MYSTERIOUS WAYS BECAUSE I OPERATE ON A HIGHER LEVEL THAN YOU DO

SHANK: PHARMACY BECAUSE THOSE PACKAGES BELONG TO ME BOTH OF THEM I HAVEN'T EVEN ALLOWED THE TWO OF YOU TO DO YOUR STUPID VIOLENT THINGAMAGIG EVERYTHING SHOULD BE ABOUT ME ALWAYS EVERYBODY KEEP GIVING THE PACKAGES TO ME ONLY I DESERVE THEM SHUT UP