you've been peeling bananas wrong this whole time

it turns out we're on the highway to hell

it turns out you need to switch the melodies of 'highway to hell' and 'ymca'

it turns out you need to take what you will, but don't rattle me bones

it turns out you need to play at 262 bpm for 4 minutes and 19 seconds

it turns out the universe has an invisible face

it turns out you need to read the eight spells of the octavo

it turns out bananas are 99% water

it turns out 111111111^2 = 12345678987654321

it turns out that, as the earth is quickly becoming hostile to bananakind, you need to add up all the numbers that have been mentioned in this thread, and then use that many bananas to fuel a rocket to mars, where the soil is great for growing more bananas

it turns out this is not enough, not just yet

it turns out you need everyone to do the knock (shave and a haircut, two bits) on the ground. after a few moments the earth will unpeel and everyone will fall into the unpeeled earth, which is actually the afterlife where everyone is eternally happy

it turns out that if you don't do this in time, another peel will form over the earth, and everyone will die because the peel will blot out the sun eternally and no bananas will be able to be made anymore, which is extremely bad

it turns out the average length of a banana is one banana

it turns out bananas are the one true metric for everything

it turns out you need to create a shrine using only bananas for every measure. all of these measures must be in whole numbers of bananas

it turns out bananas are actually telescopes. Inserting them into your eyesocket allows you to see celestial bodies such as more bananas.

it turns out k is a consonant, a letter of the alphabet

it turns out if you make a massive banana to eclipse the sun, and a giant pair of sunglasses above it, you will have given the sun sentience.

it turns out you need to decrease the perihelion of many bananas a lot

it turns out the most efficient way to do this is de-orbit the earth

it turns out that elon musk wants to build a giant thruster on the earth

it turns out this will actually work this time, just like the other two things didn't

it turns out you need to make an ascii banana out of only the characters {"B","A","N","a","n","b"}

it turns out i should do my schoolwork

it turns out i dont want to right now