I'll answer your questions

do you sleep

Yes, and that's usually the main reason why I'm not continuously furthering my own heinous agenda

is it the mafia don key? is it the don pardo key

No, No

What is a key?

A crude depiction, conjured in adobe photoshop, that is merely representative

Thank you very much for the key! I appreciate it.

1. I feel ready, yeah. At least as ready as I can be.

2. Everyone I can, yes I know this answer has already been used but I was thinking it before I read that.

3. Very little. If this is a game, I'm mostly following it passively. I was curious about what you would do if I asked politely for a key, so I did that. This may have moved me closer to a form of victory, but this was incidental to my goals.

Thank you once again for the key, by the way.

Oh, and in response to your later question, yes I do go by "he".

Do you have a preferred pronoun? I ask this both in the sense of a pronoun that you would like to have applied to you and in the sense of a favorite pronoun in general.

I'm he. My favorite pronoun is "nothing", although according to the grammar website I just pulled that off of, it's an indefinite pronoun.

For not making victory an obvious goal, you have been given a VICTORY BOOST. Every time you post, you will receive DOUBLE the VICTORY POINTS (the quantification and measurement of these are entirely secret, even from me)

<sub>1. do you know where the fifth key is?

2. as someone who likes to sit back and watch other people having fun, am I allowed to opt out of the key quest if I find out where it is and let others go to it?

3. "it's not the destination, it's the journey," pop pop always said - would getting to the place where the fifth key is be a fun and rewarding journey?

4. would I need a passport?

5. should I pack lightly?</sub>

1. yes
2. yes!
3. yes
4. no
5. yes

A further hint: The key is actually just an image file that I need to upload to a hosting website. The "location" is... very near to my heart. The 5th key is the most handsome key.

the goblin wants the president and also the last cookie in the cookie jar how do I put an end to this tyranny and how do I get the president

You are already well on your way. For admitting your nefarious plot, you have been given the ability to GENERATE CHAOS. Pick one person who has posted in this thread, (it could be you, me, or anyone else), to receive a healthy dose of CHAOS.