I'll answer your questions

What do I win?

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Spoiler

You are truly a hero. As promised, you have been awarded a dark object. She is among us. She has seen fit to give you this object.

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Spoiler

Hold on to it. You will need it. The days of peace are numbered. Use questions to stay busy until then.

Is the prize misspent youth?

In a way, we have all won misspent youth. Time pushes ever forward.

if a woodchuck could chuck would, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood?

2

I'm just a pair of sunglasses, I cannot see well.

Do I need glasses?

Yes

How can I achieve both self-actualization and complete sublimation of self?

Set a goal to go from a solid state to one of pure gas, without a liquid intermediary, then reach it.

How can i achieve Slorange's self-actualization, and no one else's?

Can I steal goblin's and then drown it in a vat of HiQuality™ acid?

Ask Slorange for their self-actualization, that is your only option.

You cannot steal goblin's