RE: LGBTQ Awareness/Help Threade
08-16-2014, 02:49 AM
I don't think I've come right out and said it yet, but I'm a trans woman.
I'm in the closet offline, for the most part. I let my ex-girlfriend (who is still a close friend) know, as well as a friend who I stayed with in Chicago. Today I told an old friend from Boston. They were all very cool and understanding.
My dad has appointed himself the gender police, because apparently a nineteen-year-old can't figure something out about themselves. I don't fit the narrative he knows, so I'm a Fake Trans Woman, possibly a Confused Man. Part of it, I think, is that he "wants me to be happy," which he always expresses in the worst possible way - in this case, he took a Time magazine article and underlined shit about how trans women have it bad, as if I didn't know that and as if he was trying to convince me to be cis because it's Safe, it's a Good Idea. He and my stepmom have still been referring to me as a man, so I dropped a hint earlier that I don't appreciate it.
This led to an argument which culminated in him saying me yelling was "real feminine," because obviously women never scream or get upset, and he suggested I'm doing this because it will make me "feel cool." I only told him this because I thought he'd be mature and understanding about it, and even then, I did it only because it felt like the right time. I've now learned that I can't confide in him, and that I should never trust him. He's proven himself irredeemable and, frankly, erased any of my doubts that he's straight-up emotionally abusive.
I'm in the closet offline, for the most part. I let my ex-girlfriend (who is still a close friend) know, as well as a friend who I stayed with in Chicago. Today I told an old friend from Boston. They were all very cool and understanding.
My dad has appointed himself the gender police, because apparently a nineteen-year-old can't figure something out about themselves. I don't fit the narrative he knows, so I'm a Fake Trans Woman, possibly a Confused Man. Part of it, I think, is that he "wants me to be happy," which he always expresses in the worst possible way - in this case, he took a Time magazine article and underlined shit about how trans women have it bad, as if I didn't know that and as if he was trying to convince me to be cis because it's Safe, it's a Good Idea. He and my stepmom have still been referring to me as a man, so I dropped a hint earlier that I don't appreciate it.
This led to an argument which culminated in him saying me yelling was "real feminine," because obviously women never scream or get upset, and he suggested I'm doing this because it will make me "feel cool." I only told him this because I thought he'd be mature and understanding about it, and even then, I did it only because it felt like the right time. I've now learned that I can't confide in him, and that I should never trust him. He's proven himself irredeemable and, frankly, erased any of my doubts that he's straight-up emotionally abusive.