Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Night Three: Porpoiseful Delays

As suddenly as it closed, the WHALE PORTAL tears through the fabric of space-time to reappear.

Pharmacy, Dragon Fogel, Sruixan, Scoffles, Granolaman, Palamedes, Truegreen, Schazer, yd12k, and Seedy all tumble out, sporting a collection of weaponry and trinkets only rivaled by their stunning assortment of injuries. The clamour of reporters off the shore is deafening, their whale calls demanding the contestant's immediate presence.

The contestants, battle-hardened and still composing their thoughts, have more urgent business to attend to. After dispatching their METHOD ACTOR IMPERSONATORS in signature fashion (i.e. shanking them to death), all but Dragon Fogel whip out their shanks, murder in their eyes. With the veteran's arrival the crowd has been whipped into a frenzy even speechuck cannot calm, and eyes fall on the day's second unlucky victim: Prime Intellect. He's surrounded in a flash, and the shanks are about to start sinking in when a shout familiar to most of the room by now interrupts them.

Of course Sruixan wasn't going to shank Prime Intellect. That's the sheeple shank. No, he was in mortal combat with none other than amosmyn's Mr. Pidge.

Moments after all eyes landed on him he slew the bird with one mighty stab, leaving amosmyn distraught on the bar floor.

Amosmyn has been DAYSHANKED (and survived)!

With an imperious nod, Sruixan then sanctions the death of Prime Intellect, a task the crowd attends to with relish.

Prime Intellect was an UNTRACEABLE CRIMINAL SHANKER.

In addition to regular shanker powers, each night he could HIDE behind another player. Anyone attempting to shank him would be UNABLE TO FIND HIM - but if the person he hid behind was killed, he would be the target of any further shanks aimed at them that night.

He would have won when he was the last player standing.

With the day's work complete, speedchuck steps off the stage, ending the JAZZ AGE at the Vista Paolo. For his stellar performance the crowd decides to award him a MAIL PACKAGE they found sitting by the entrance of the bar.

The whale battlers retreat to their PRESS CONFERENCE PREPARATION YACHTS, generously donated by the Vista Paolo's yacht club following a short and brutal WHALE INVASION. The press conference is scheduled to begin at dawn the following day, and each competitor is afforded the HIGHEST WHALE SECURITY for their noble participation in the battle. The Narwhalfare correspondents can hardly contain their excitement; it seems Vista Paolo's residents won't be getting much sleep should WHALE NOISES disturb them.

The rest of the shankers return to their quarters, no doubt to prepare for another hectic night.

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WHALE BATTLE PHASE TWO COMPLETE

Phase Three will begin in 24 HOURS, at 4:00 PM EST on Saturday, August 2nd. Within this time limit anyone wishing to submit more WHALE FACTS may still do so, once it has passed no more will be accepted.

In ~24 hours the Whale Competitors will receive their apportioned FACTS and have until the start of Day 4 (likely ~120 hours) to PREPARE THEIR PORPOGANDA, though this deadline may still be extended if it proves necessary.

All Whale Competitors CANNOT DIE during this night. They can still lose any vests/other protective abilities they may have.

More details in ~24 hours/gladly provided upon request.

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Night Three has started! Please submit your actions by 4:00 PM EST on Monday, August 4th (in 72 hours!).

Livelist (45/71)

1. Schazer
2. Solaris
3. Sai
4. Not The Author
5. Akumu
6. AgentBlue
7. Seedy
8. Crowstone
9. SupahKiven
10. Palamedes
11. Pharmacy
12. Granolaman
13. Coldblooded
14. TehPilot
15. anacreon
16. cyber95
17. Niall
18. makerofthegames
19. antisequitur
20. amosmyn
21. Deviant One
22. Sanzh
23. Pharas
24. Phish
25. konec0
26. yd12k
27. Dragon Fogel
28. Gnauga
29. Whimbrel
30. LegendaryQ
31. Chwoka
32. bigro
33. Dalmationer
34. Sruixan
35. x1372
36. Breadpocalypse
37. beruru
38. Scoffles
39. Acionyx
40. Plaid
41. speedchuck
42. Mikeee
43. Truegreen
44. Loather
45. Demonsul