Mini-Grand 5801 [Round 1: Gridlock]

A reinforced van plowed along the dunes running adjacent to the abandoned highway. To be honest though if nobody had thought to mention it was a van you would be forgiven for thinking someone had mounted a shed on wheels. It was covered with corrugated sheets of metal, reinforced planks of wood and liberally applied barbed wire. Mounted to the top of the behemoth was a massive spotlight illuminating the path ahead. The front window had been replaced with bulletproof glass and someone had attached a massive steel pilot (the kind that would normally be found on the front of a train) to the front of the van. All in all this van gave the impression that the inhabitants were expecting trouble.

As it reached a point roughly adjacent to where The Abomination was hauling itself the van slowed and stopped. For a moment it was completely still then in a sudden flurry of activity a side door, which moments ago you wouldn't have been able to tell was a door at all, burst open and out came two people. They were covered from head to toe in what vaguely resembled a hazardous materials suit. The suits themselves looked sort of makeshift and as though if it really came down to it they wouldn't keep very much hazardous materials out. The suits were painted dark red and on top of that a crude white skull had been emblazoned. Beneath the clear perspex visors it could be seen that the suit's occupants were a little unconventional.

The first of the pair had a shock of toxic green hair cropped short, though his blonde stubble belied his true hair colour. The second of the two had similarly cut hair; hers dyed a deep purple. She had peircings through her nose, her eyebrow, her lip, essentially anywhere that her body could be peirced it had been. It was not apparent but due to the extreme heat, they were both wearing nothing more than the hazmat suits, and even so both of them were heavily sweating. In their hands makeshift rifles cobbled together from the scraps of various other firearms. Their faces were set in serious scowls as their eyes scanned the horizon for signs of movement; circles of light thrown by the flashlights attached to their rifles danced back and forth along the row of cars as they did so.

Behind them something stepped out of the van, it's very movements causing the sturdy vehicle to tilt. It looked like something that had once been human. The general shape was still discernible as were patches of tanned human skin. The rest of it was jet black. Its limbs were unnaturally proportioned, its chest visibly expanded and detracted with every inhalation and exhalation. The face was still part human, bisected vertically. The human eye was bloodshot and ringed with bags, the other eye a deep green. its nose now nothing more than a pair of nostrils, its mouth curled into a permanent scowl.
"What's the matter?" It rasped.
"We detected movement." The girl replied. "Unusual movement." she elaborated, cutting off the creature's questioning response.
"Lets go and see then." It replied, its bisected mouth attempting a grin and not really managing it. The guy had stopped scanning the cars, his flashlight alighted on a large black object with red markings.
"I think..." he said slowly and uncertainly "...that it was that." The chick regarded it critically.
"I've never seen anything like that out here." she admitted.

Deep in the confines of the safe the Abomination grinned with all of its many mouths. This was going to be easy.