Law & Doofus: Lethal Weapon Fiver Unit

*DUN DUN*



You are Cool Doofus, a currently undercover investigator for the Fat City P.D.'s prestigious Lethal Weapon Fiver Unit. You have responded to a report of an unidentified homeless person being eaten alive by a mob of adolescents in clown getup. The clumsy trail of bloody digits and Faygo bottles has ended at this alley. That awful smell you get from the station locker room's jockstrap bin floats from the darkness, except this is worse then jockstraps, this is the scent of awkward teenage clowns.

You'd have wondered what happened to eating bananas... but these jesters are obviously plenty bananas already.

You're puns are some of the worst the county has to offer, these clowns would be pretty foolish to mess with you today. Anywhoo, how will you start off this investigation?