Food Trek

-Stardate 23.452.7-
-Onboard the Victual Dominion Starship KS Luncheon-

Rise and shine, sleepy head! It’s another beautiful space-day aboard the Luncheon, and you’ve got plenty to do. Being Chef-Captain of one of the Dominion’s top of the line starships is a full time job, but you’re just the life-form to do it!
You squint your optical sensory organs of choice in the general direction of the narrator’s booming, sexy voice, and clumsily extricate yourself from your bed with a churlish expression. Don’t give me that look. If you want more positive adjectives, you’ll have to earn them!

Suddenly, a second, far less impressive voice speaks to you from somewhere overhead.

“Good morning, [UNKNOWN USER],” drawls the Luncheon’s computer, “Please log in.”

Great. It sounds like the computer’s malfunctioning again! Just like it did last week, when it went crazy and tried to kill everyone on board. Or the week before that, when it went crazy and tried to kill everyone on board. At least this time it seems fairly minor. You give the computer your log-in information.

“Error. Profile not found,” the computer says, its androgynous voice oozing boredom. “Please try again, or request a profile transfer from Dominion Central Command.”

You try once again to log in, but to no avail. Looks like you’ll have to request your profile transferred. Thankfully, Central Command keeps pretty good backups of these things.

“Very well. Establishing connection with Dominion Central Command. Please clearly state your full name, rank, species, and gender.”

There you have it kiddo. What do you say?