Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

True Kamikaze
2x750ml bottles of Triple Sec
2x750ml bottles of Triple Distilled Vodka
1.5 Liters of Lime Juice
30ml of Bartender's Secret
Watermelon

Pour all ingredients into a bucket. Add 500 grams of ice.
Stir with the flat end of an oar. Garnish with half a watermelon jammed onto the rim of the bucket.
Serve.

Now, as a responsible bartender I must let you know that even if you drink a portion of this discontented beverage you will be severely intoxicated tonight and have a painful hangover tomorrow. Should you choose to drink all of your death-wish-in-a-pail, you will probably die. "This message brought to you by BiRD, the Bitches for Responsible Drinking."
"Drinks up!"

*Goes to town on that monster with the world's biggest crazy straw*