Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Day Two: By The Power Vested In Me...

You all wake up to find an incredibly obnoxious announcer swimming in a pile of vests. You don't know where they came from. You don't know who they are. But you are compelled to listen to them.

HOLY CRAP LOOK AT ALL THESE VESTS.

THEY'RE THE BEST. BEST VESTS! GOOD THING CHIRALITY DIED AND LEFT THEM ALL TO ME!

Chirality had made his fortune in vests, but then that cunning Lizzard had bought him out before he even knew what was happening. Since he was bought out with LIZZARD INC. shares he now had more vests than Voestsus, and decided to try and up his shares' value by promoting them. Both with free giveaways and some shanking to raise awareness.

It was going to work out so well, too!

Chirality was a VEST MAGNATE. In addition to regular shanker powers, he started out with 12 (TWELVE) LIZZARD INC. SHANKPROOF VESTS (DELUXE EDITION), which each block TWO shanks.

Each night, he was required to hand one out as a FREE SAMPLE.

His win condition was: be the last player standing, or end up alive with no vests in his inventory.

OUCH! CHIRALITY ONLY GOT SHANKED ONCE, TOO! AND SO MUCH BLOOD!

TOUGH LUCK, BITCH!

BEFORE WE GET BACK TO THE VESTS, LET'S CHECK OUT THE REST! OF THESE DEAD BITCHES!

Kíeros was A REGULAR SHANKER!

He could vote each day, and shank each night, and started with a LIZZARD INC. SHANKPROOF VEST (REGULAR EDITION).

His win condition was to be THE LAST BITCH STANDING.

SHANKED TWICE? SHANKED NICE!

Waterbottles was a CHATTY SHANKER!

In addition to regular shank powers, she could send her shanking target a message of unlimited length!

BOTTLES ARE PLURAL, AND SO WERE THE TWO SHANKERS THAT WANTED HER DEAD!

LegendaryQ was A REGULAR SHANKER!

ONLY SHANKED TWICE? THAT'S NOT LEGENDARY AT ALL!

Airey was an INSANE TELEVISION SURVIVALIST! In addition to the power of a regular shanker, his NEED TO GET RATINGS meant he didn't wear a vest.

Instead, he could set up a TERRIFYING TRAP GAUNTLET in his room twice during the game. The following night, anyone visiting his room would be MERCILESSLY SLAIN. He could also survive the first shank on him through SHEER FORCE OF SURVIVAL WILL.

AT LEAST AIREY'S STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE. THREE SHANKS, THAT'LL MAKE FOR SOME GOOD TELEVISION!

Eidolonic was a SHENANIGANS SHANKER. In addition to regular shanking powers, he could SWAP TWO PLAYER'S TARGETS for the night, causing them to target each other's targets!

WOW! EIDOLONIC'S CORPSE IS HARDLY RECOGNIZABLE! WHO'S DOING THIS? HE'S POPULAR, TOO! THREE BITCHES WENT TO TOWN ON HIM!

Cat was A REGULAR SHANKER!

AND WE'RE BACK TO MEDIOCRITY! ONLY TWO SHANKS!

SeaWyrm was A REGULAR SHANKER!

ONE SHANK'S ENOUGH TO KILL THIS PANSY SEAWYRM!

OztheWizard was A REGULAR SHANKER!

AND THIS "WIZARD" TOO! WHERE'S YOUR MAGIC NOW, YOU HIPPIE?

Last, but not least it's

ICanhasdonut was a DOUBLE-VESTED BOMB SHANKER!

In addition to regular shanking powers, he had an EXPLOSIVE VEST that would trigger on his death, taking his murderer with him - NO MATTER THEIR VEST STATUS! This EXPLOSIVE DEATH would also be obvious!

His win condition was: be the last player standing, or Maplehoof (no players left alive at the end of the game).

WHILE HE'S BLOWN TO BITS, I HAVE A GREAT TIP TELLING ME DONUT WAS SHANKED TWICE LAST NIGHT. TWO VESTS, TWO KILLS!

AND THAT'S IT! NOW THE REST OF YOU GET TO HEAR ALL ABOUT...

WHAT? WHAT'S THIS?

THEY'VE GONE MISSING?

YOU'RE KIDDING ME!

Garuru, TehPilot, anacreon, Mister Visceral, speedchuck, and MalkyTop have all VANISHED IN THE NIGHT!

OKAY HOLD ON I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS. WE'LL CONVEST ABOUT THIS PILE OF VESTS LATER. GO VOTESHANK EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING, I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

Livelist

1. Schazer
2. Solaris
3. Sai
4. NottheAuthor
5. ICan'tGiveCreidt
6. Akumu
7. AgentBlue
8. Seedy
9. Crowstone
10. Garuru???
11. SupahKiven
12. Palamedes
13. Pharmacy
14. Granolaman
15. Coldblooded
16. TehPilot???
17. anacreon???
18. Visceral???
19. cyber95
20. Niall
21. makerofthegames
22. bigro
23. Stiqqery
24. amosmyn
25. Red709
26. Deviant One
27. Sanzh
28. druplesnubb
29. Pharas
30. Phish
31. konec0
32. fivex
33. Prime Intellect
34. yd12k
35. Dragon Fogel
36. Gnauga
37. Pick Yer Poison
38. Sotek
39. Whimbrel
40. Fragowump
41. Ixcaliber
42. Chwoka
43. antisequitur
44. Dalmationer
45. Sruixan
46. x1372
47. Breadpocalypse
48. beruru
49. Scoffles
50. Acionyx
51. BlazerC
52. Plaid
53. speedchuck???
54. Mikeee
55. Truegreen
56. Loather???
57. Demonsul
58. Everanix
59. Chocolate Pi
60. MalkyTop???

With 53 players alive, it takes 27 votes to groupshank a bitch.

Day ends at 2:00 PM EST on Saturday, July 19, or in 72 hours!