RE: The Grand OC! [CONTEST XXIII: ANGLE!]
07-14-2014, 01:51 AM
(This post was last modified: 07-15-2014, 08:53 PM by !?.)
Name: Dere
Race: Probably not a human
Gender: Probably not just a guy
Color: Probably not #DAA520 on #CD0000
Description: Always wears sunglasses. Always indoors. Always at night. His jacket is made of leather palms which are constantly patting him on the back. They are his true friends. His smile is that hapless kind of smug that you end up looking down on no matter how much it begs for you to look up to it. His aviators are probably made of real airplanes. They constantly reflect light from an unknown source, even though the lights are always off. He carries a comb in each hand despite being completely bald. He constantly sways from side to side. He doesn’t seem to understand the words you’re saying. He needs your help.
Abilities: He is capable of making absolutely random guesses based only in smug, unfunny sarcasm and pseudoscience and inexplicably being right, greatly annoying everyone around him, always. They try to find him. They turn off the lights and cough up brand new, unusable speakers. They summon forth loud noises. But they can never find him. They can never find him no matter what they do. If you meet him, say hello.
Biography: He was born indoors. He was born in shades. He has been sighted underwater. He spent a period of time selling sports wear to the masses, but he soon realized that there were better things he could do for society. He let himself be summoned. But he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle the children. He couldn’t handle being dragged around everywhere. He couldn’t handle being a demonstration of status, becoming a meaningless gesture. So he made it stop. Do not seek him out. He is gone now. Good job.
Race: Probably not a human
Gender: Probably not just a guy
Color: Probably not #DAA520 on #CD0000
Description: Always wears sunglasses. Always indoors. Always at night. His jacket is made of leather palms which are constantly patting him on the back. They are his true friends. His smile is that hapless kind of smug that you end up looking down on no matter how much it begs for you to look up to it. His aviators are probably made of real airplanes. They constantly reflect light from an unknown source, even though the lights are always off. He carries a comb in each hand despite being completely bald. He constantly sways from side to side. He doesn’t seem to understand the words you’re saying. He needs your help.
Abilities: He is capable of making absolutely random guesses based only in smug, unfunny sarcasm and pseudoscience and inexplicably being right, greatly annoying everyone around him, always. They try to find him. They turn off the lights and cough up brand new, unusable speakers. They summon forth loud noises. But they can never find him. They can never find him no matter what they do. If you meet him, say hello.
Biography: He was born indoors. He was born in shades. He has been sighted underwater. He spent a period of time selling sports wear to the masses, but he soon realized that there were better things he could do for society. He let himself be summoned. But he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle the children. He couldn’t handle being dragged around everywhere. He couldn’t handle being a demonstration of status, becoming a meaningless gesture. So he made it stop. Do not seek him out. He is gone now. Good job.