Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Detective Garland delved once more into the boot of his car and emerged with a mountain of printed forms.

"Hey guys I've had an idea." Garland announced from behind the pile of documents. "Talking to you all one on one well that could take days, so what I've done is I've had these forms printed." He starts handing them out to the group. "They're fairly basic. There's the obvious: name, username, gender, species you know all the standard stuff. There's a box where you can claim if you want (don't worry I'll keep any information given through these forms strictly confidential) but the most important is down here at the bottom."

He paused in his quest to jam a sheaf of forms into the unwilling hands of every participant for a moment to gesture to the relevant section. "Top Three SCUM... ahh whoops I meant to include an explanation on the sheet for that. SCUM is special police terminology for referring to members of organized crime groups. I think it means something like Secretly Covertly Undoubtedly Malevolent. Or something. Anyway so yeah Top Three SCUM Reads and then another section: Top Three TOWN Reads, and again I thought I'd explained this on the form. TOWN is police lingo for basically a good upstanding law-abiding citizen type. I don't actually know what it stands for before you ask. I don't really think it matters I'm sure there is a really good and totally genuine acronym but I just don't personally know what it is."

By the end of this rambling meandering explanation he's managed to hand out all the forms, jamming them into the pockets or onto the knives of those who refused to physically take a copy from him. "So yeah if you could just fill those out for me that would be really great. Thank you in advance."