Shank A Bitch 3 Day Six: The Handsman Cometh (10/71 Alive)

Despite the beautiful weather and the perfect set-up for a pool party, the assembled bitches follow their natures and proceed to bitch at each other for a good few hours, first threatening a particularly opinionated philosopher bitch and then a surely even more deluded goddess bitch with their assorted shanks. General bitch opinion had just swung on someone who had the temerity to declare that bugs bugged them when a literary interlude saw fit to interrupt.

Unlike some other, more unfortunate whales, however, this one manages to land right in the middle of the infinity pool and survive the trip. Bitches get drenched, but more importantly the whale is able to fulfill its existential purpose and hand Schazer her reward for services to Cetaceans everywhere, courtesy of META-SRUIXAN:

Schazer Has Won The Golden Mic

With its whale duties dispensed, it promptly pops back out of existence.

Which is just as well, since the sky isn't done dispensing things.

Two mysterious mail packages have been air-dropped onto the roof

As them bitches are all still in a somewhat democratic mood what with their bloodthirst not kicked up to homicidal levels just yet, they decide there's only one way to parcel them out:

Package Elections Have Begun!

Just vote to Elect: [Playername] to give them a chance at WONDERFUL MAIL-BASED PRIZES THAT PROBABLY DON'T BELONG TO THEM!

In the midst of all the package commotion, only a few bitches are paying enough attention to notice that

LOATHER HAS VANISHED

Just as the crowd starts realizing that one of them has up and dematerialized, Sruixan climbs onto a nearby diving board, stripped down to a pair of extremely flashy swimming trunks. Whipping out his shank, he

SWAN DIVES AND SHANKS RIVENFORGE RIGHT IN THE CHEST

....

At which point Rivenforge tosses Sruixan into the pool, spitting after him.

"Ugh, I just put this vest on this morning too. Rude, bitch!"

Livelist (70/71 confirmed alive)

1. Schazer
2. Solaris
3. Sai
4. NottheAuthor
5. Rivenforge
6. ICan'tGiveCredit
7. Akumu
8. AgentBlue
9. Seedy
10. Crowsy
11. Donut
12. Garuru
13. SupahKiven
14. OztheWizard
15. Palamedes
16. Pharmacy
17. Granolaman
18. Seawyrm
19. Coldblooded
20. TehPilot
21. Cat
22. anacreon
23. Visceral
24. cyber95
25. Niall
26. makerofthegames
27. bigro
28. Stiqqery
29. amosmyn
30. Red709
31. Eidolonic
32. Airey
33. Deviant One
34. Sanzh
35. druplesnubb
36. Pharas
37. Phish
38. konec0
39. fivex
40. Prime Intellect
41. Chirality
42. yd12k
43. Dragon Fogel
44. Gnauga
45. Pick Yer Poison
46. Sotek
47. Whimbrel
48. Fragowump
49. Ixcaliber
50. LegendaryQ
51. Chwoka
52. antisequitur
53. Kíeros
54. Dalmationer
55. Sruixan
56. x1372
57. Breadpocalypse
58. beruru
59. Scoffles
60. Acionyx
61. BlazerC
62. Plaid
63. speedchuck
64. wooferbattles
65. Mikeee
66. Truegreen
67. Loather - VANISHED?????
68. Demonsul
69. Everanix
70. Chocolate Pi
71. MalkyTop