RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Round One: Traverse Town
06-27-2014, 06:28 PM
"- and in response to that ol Goerg was bein all angry nshit so he secretly erected the first Legue of Culinecromancers right? I was one a the first and one a the last when the dust had settled, but im gettin ahead of myself-"
Crabman had been going like this for hours, and managed to attract quite a few people. Being at least ten thousand million times older than the oldest man, anger crabman had a Boring Story Aura at least ten thousand million times more powerful than the next guy. Minnie, a good twelve puppies and several moogles were already enveloped by the field, desperate to leave but unable. He continued talking.
"why backin my day youd never dream of lookin a culinecromancer in th eye. people useta cut out their eyes n stuff just so they couldnt. anywayz the first batle of the culinecromancers was at bloggospher's castle in response to a krogern invasion fleet. now that was a fight an a half. i remembres it well. krogerns on the left side, us on the right. i was raisin more dead with pastries an sandwiches than you can count, but them krogerns had a secret up their sleeves. they wus descended from the descendants first colonists we sent up durin the fifth second plastic age an they had some plastic age wepons like the last supersonic faster than light critboosted railgun sniper death howitzer in existince."
He paused for dramatic effect. No one knew what a supersonic faster than light critboosted railgun sniper death howitzer was, but it was probably bad.
"they aimed it at the planets head and were gonan fire ,and they did. they destroyed all of trolternia right in that instant....
"all but me.
"i then lasered there mothership an made it into a pastry, and resurrected the whoooooole wooooooorld. After wed won that battle, bignose died of fright from having been dead and having forgotten to pay their hell fees, along with a good deal of the population. his sone, gregori blogospher, took over as overmeister. now gregori had a problem with people so he only spoke to himself usin a giant machine designed to perfctly replicate his own mind. It killed him an took over his empire, then had me shipped to the sun. by the time i climbed out and drifted across space back to trolternia, the supercomputer and all its works had just rotted away to nothing. As will we all, one day..."
The Deathless' gaze drifted, eyes becoming unfocused and bleary. Someone coughed.
"whattafuck do you want jegus you whippersnappers. wheres yer tv i wanna watch boners???"
He wandered away, screaming about young'uns and whippersnappers and his day.
Many took their hats off to this great hero.
Crabman had been going like this for hours, and managed to attract quite a few people. Being at least ten thousand million times older than the oldest man, anger crabman had a Boring Story Aura at least ten thousand million times more powerful than the next guy. Minnie, a good twelve puppies and several moogles were already enveloped by the field, desperate to leave but unable. He continued talking.
"why backin my day youd never dream of lookin a culinecromancer in th eye. people useta cut out their eyes n stuff just so they couldnt. anywayz the first batle of the culinecromancers was at bloggospher's castle in response to a krogern invasion fleet. now that was a fight an a half. i remembres it well. krogerns on the left side, us on the right. i was raisin more dead with pastries an sandwiches than you can count, but them krogerns had a secret up their sleeves. they wus descended from the descendants first colonists we sent up durin the fifth second plastic age an they had some plastic age wepons like the last supersonic faster than light critboosted railgun sniper death howitzer in existince."
He paused for dramatic effect. No one knew what a supersonic faster than light critboosted railgun sniper death howitzer was, but it was probably bad.
"they aimed it at the planets head and were gonan fire ,and they did. they destroyed all of trolternia right in that instant....
"all but me.
"i then lasered there mothership an made it into a pastry, and resurrected the whoooooole wooooooorld. After wed won that battle, bignose died of fright from having been dead and having forgotten to pay their hell fees, along with a good deal of the population. his sone, gregori blogospher, took over as overmeister. now gregori had a problem with people so he only spoke to himself usin a giant machine designed to perfctly replicate his own mind. It killed him an took over his empire, then had me shipped to the sun. by the time i climbed out and drifted across space back to trolternia, the supercomputer and all its works had just rotted away to nothing. As will we all, one day..."
The Deathless' gaze drifted, eyes becoming unfocused and bleary. Someone coughed.
"whattafuck do you want jegus you whippersnappers. wheres yer tv i wanna watch boners???"
He wandered away, screaming about young'uns and whippersnappers and his day.
Many took their hats off to this great hero.
![[Image: 38cGHpR.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/38cGHpR.gif)