Intense Struggle! (Round 7 - The Database)

Aph drifted in and out of consciousness; too weak to move and aware only of whiteness and of snatches of a distant mechanical voice.

"...His skin is mostly covered by loose clothing, but where it's visible it's been tanned and roughened from exposure. A brown, wide collared duster coat hides most of his body and a wide brimmed hat obscures his head..."

She dimly knew she had lost herself again. She didn't think she'd killed anyone this time but it served to illustrate just how fragile her grip upon herself was. She was truly pathetic.

"...She stood out to the gods as the only one in her world to not grow tainted by seduction and wrath as her life progressed; instead, she was like a beacon of sincerity among the world filled with vile hate..."

Cerise decided she would never move again. Her grip was too fragile; she couldn't trust herself enough to hope live any kind of life. She would just lie here and wait to die.

"...Education's pretty improved in the distant, future, you know? Not, like, everyone's smart enough not to watch reality TV, but everyone's too smart to be in reality TV. So rather than doing what we do in the present and just script everything out, the studios tend to just go ahead and fix reality until reality reflects what people want to watch..."

She'd probably die eventually. While starvation or dehydration were not issues for a being made from magical energy, she was certain that sooner or later some kind of disaster would find her. Maybe in the form of one of the Monitor's machines or maybe Clara would do it. If not that then she would die eventually; it might take several thousand years but sooner or later her mana would completely destabilise and she'd be nothing more than molecules floating in the air, blissfully thoughtless.

"...She speaks in half-riddles and non-sequiturs, becoming very angry over seemingly-"

The voice stopped abruptly and she heard some disgruntled muttering coming from what she vaguely perceived as the same direction. It was too faint to make out what was being said but Aph recognized Xan's voice, and wondered if perhaps he could be convinced to come over here and finish the job. She tried to speak but nothing came out and then she slipped into unconsciousness once again.

When she drifted back Xan stood over her, but close up it was clear to see that this wasn't Xan. Beneath the plain brown robes was a rusted and battered metal body in a roughly humanoid shape. Given where she was it was an obvious conclusion to come to that this was one of the Monitor's robots, but it didn't feel right. Given the intricate machinery she had seen she struggled to imagine this rusted heap of junk being formed on the same production line (or on any production line).

"I am very disappointed in you." The machine said, its imitation of Xanthor's voice was shockingly accurate. "You've accumulated a reasonable amount of power, but power is cheap now and it means nothing without discipline."

There was a pause, clearly the part of the conversation where Cerise was supposed to speak, perhaps to argue back that it was none of its business or that it didn't know what it was talking about. Cerise said nothing. It was right. She didn't know why it cared but it was right. It would see how much of a failure she was and leave her alone to die.

The machine examined her passively, and she could almost hear the whirring of gears as it abruptly changed tacks. It cleared its throat, or rather lacking a throat made the appropriate noise and gesture most likely as an attempt to project a facade of humanity. "Good, you're awake. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm not Xan. You can call me..." It hesitated. "...Proxy. And I'm sorry about before, about letting you believe I was Xan. It was in my programming I didn't have any choice, but it's over now and there's no reason we can't work together."

There was another long pause that Cerise declined to fill.

"Maybe I left the dampener on too low?" The machine 'Proxy' muttered to itself. It made some kind of an adjustment to itself and Cerise felt a pressure she hadn't even noticed until then lift slightly. But as that mental pressure lifted she felt less certain, less stable. She felt her mind starting to cloud as though she was losing her grip on herself once again.

"Stop!" Cerise attempted to marshall herself but it was like trying to gather up fog in her arms. She pushed herself into a sitting position and glared at Proxy. "What did you just do?"

"Ah yeah." Proxy showed her its right forearm; it was dotted with lights, buttons and dials all of which looked newer than its main body as though they had been added on at some later point. "It's a mana dampener. I believe there was something similar in place in Cervaled Fall, the um, prison round. This one's more precise, enough that it can suppress the bulk of your abilities without leaving you unconscious." It paused. "Sorry about that as well."

"Oh would you shut up?" Aph snapped irritably. After a moment of hesitant silence Cerise continued in a much more measured voice. "Would you mind setting it back? The dampener thing I mean."

"Of course." The machine adjusted a dial or two causing the lights on its arm to flicker amber but its gaze never left the nymph.

After a moment the mental pressure pushed down upon her, forcing the traces of Aph that had been loosed to subside. She felt weaker, as though the life itself had been drained from her, but her mind was clearer and she was glad. For once in her life she felt like she was her own person; not governed by arbitrary love or hatred or drowned within the myriad conflicting impulses contained within her mana. Minutes ago she'd been ready to die because she could not control herself, and yet without the control she felt now she knew she'd never be able to keep that resolve. Immediately she knew her options; either she'd get one of these dampeners for herself or she'd die, and quickly; ideally at the next opportunity she got. It was the only way to be sure. If this 'Proxy' left her then she'd slip back to how she was and she just knew there would be no coming back.

Proxy had been watching her intently for a couple of minutes before it took any further action. It cleared its throat in that unnecessary way again and began: "Hello? Are you still there? I didn't dial it too far back did I?"

"No you're fine." said Cerise. She looked around the small room that she supposed Proxy must have brought her to. It was roughly circular with the outline of a door on the far wall and in the centre a large mechanical apparatus cradling one of the large black cylinders she'd recently seen being manufactured. A large brass trumpet curled out of the apparatus dimly reminding her of a gramophone (though once again she couldn't place from where she knew of such a device). "Could you give me a hand?" she asked and raised her arm up to the robot. It took a long moment for Proxy to respond, and then when it did its grip was so tight that Cerise wished she hadn't asked.

"So have you given any thought to us working together?" Proxy asked, once she was on her feet again.

Cerise hadn't but she did so now. Some part of her insisted caution; she had no idea of what this machine's goals might be, or its identity beyond that of a probably fake name. It was concerning that it seemed to know so much about her history. But on the other hand it had the one thing she needed so she wasn't really in any position to say no. Still she didn't want to sound too desperate: "Maybe if I had some idea what we might be doing?"

"I'm sorry I just assumed." Proxy said apologetically. "I'm looking to kill the Monitor." Cerise's heart fell, and it must have shown on her face prompting Proxy to continue: "I thought you'd be looking to do the same after everything he's put you through?"

"I don't do that." Cerise turned away from Proxy, as though the grey wall to her right was doing something absolutely fascinating that she couldn't take her eyes off.

"You don't do that?" Proxy repeated flatly. "I've seen you do that. I watched as you cut a bloody swathe through Cervaled Fall."

"That wasn't me. That was Aph." Cerise mumbled. "She killed people but I'm not her any more. I'm different. I won't do it." There was a long silence. Cerise might have liked to believe that perhaps Proxy was re-evaluating its goal and discovering murder to be every bit as unappealing as she found it. She doubted this was the case but either way it was impossible to tell. Its face was blank save for a speaker grille, a single camera positioned roughly in the centre and patches of rust and burnt metal here and there.

"So, what is your endgame here?" Proxy asked eventually. "If you're not prepared to fight back either against Clara or against the Monitor then you're essentially sitting back and waiting to die. Am I right?" Cerise nodded dumbly. "Wrong. Clara isn't coming for you. She'll go after the Monitor and on her own she'll most likely lose. She'll die and you'll still be alive and miserable and even more guilty because now it's your fault that she died because you could have done something and you didn't." It was like a knife twisting in Cerise's gut. She swallowed mutely but Proxy wasn't done. "And it doesn't end there. Do you think that when the Monitor's done pitting you two against one another it's over? No, most likely he goes out into the multiverse again and finds eight more people to make battle to the death. That's another eight deaths that you could have prevented and that's not even taking into consideration the inevitable collateral damage." Proxy grabbed Cerise by the shoulders and forced her to look at its face. "And he'll keep on doing it again and again. Do you have any idea of the number of people you are killing right now?"

"Okay fine." Cerise broke free from the robot's grip and floated over to the other side of the room. "Fine I'll do whatever you want, but I want a mana dampener."

"That shouldn't be a problem." Proxy replied coolly. It glanced appraisingly around the room and continued: "We should be okay in here. There's not a lot of room, but it's soundproofed so we shouldn't attract any attention."

"What exactly-" Cerise started.

"Preparation." Proxy interrupted. "When we fought you were all over the place. If you can reign in the impulse to monologue and actually think about what you're doing during battle then we might just have a shot at this thing." The machine once again began to mess with its dampener arm.

"Hey now wait. Hold up-" But it was too late; the pressure that had been holding her in check was suddenly gone completely. The pent up power fizzed through her body sending sparks skittering across her skin as it did so. It was intoxicating and Cerise was gone; like a glass of water poured into the ocean. "That Cerise, what a bore." Aph laughed. "And you..." With a manic grin plastered on her face she hovered closer to Proxy who remained perfectly motionless, its eye fixed upon her. "You should have just said you wanted to kill the Monitor. Maybe we could have had a little fun together." In a moment her expression changed and she was shooting forth an arc of electricity scorching the spot where Proxy was, until a moment ago, standing from floor to ceiling. "But no!" Aph continued seemingly unfazed. "You wanted to quash me, control me. You wanted to throw your lot in with that pale shadow of my true self. Who do you think you are that you get to tell me what to do, who to be? You're nothing but an insect. Now stand still while I-" Her rant was cut short by a heavy blow to her back, sending her flying across the room and into the enormous gramophone trumpet, which snapped from the machine it was a part of and lodged itself in the far wall.

"Control yourself Aph." Proxy instructed. "Don't give your enemy the chance to retaliate. Anticipate his movements and keep moving yourself. And your magic is not a gun, it can do so much more than point and shoot."

As expected Aph cycled through her elements and made no more use of them than to try to blast the spot where Proxy was standing. She snarled and derided its instruction whenever it gave it and recounted the many ways she would make it suffer before she finally mercifully ended its life. When Aph had finally become too incoherent for words Proxy re-enabled the mana dampener. Aph fell away and Cerise was all that was left. Amongst the now scrap metal that had been the gramophone-resembling machine and the melted remains of the huge black cylinder she wept. The robot stood impartially off to the side and simply waited for her to finish.

"We do not have time for this." Proxy said eventually. "Get back on your feet and we will begin again."

"No!" Cerise spun on the spot to face the impassive machine. "Please no more. I can't be her. Isn't there another way?"

"When you become 'her' do you black out and only wake up when she is gone?" Proxy asked.

Cerise looked down at the scorched ground. "no" she mumbled, barely audibly.

"I thought as much." Proxy said. "When your power is uncapped you are overwhelmed but still present, still part of 'her'. You can take control and we will do this until you do take control."

"no please no more i can't do it i can't do it please just let me die already i'm of no use to you" Cerise's pleas tumbled out in one desperate run on sentence. "What about Clara. Go see Clara you can probably help her. Together you could take down the Monitor almost definitely please just don't make me be aph again."

Proxy studied the nymph in silence. She was simply too weak. She would never muster the strength necessary to take control of herself, and it knew it. Putting on a more sympathetic tone of voice it said: "You know, there might just be another way." Cerise looked up at the machine with a strange mixture of fear and hope in her eyes, but said nothing. It took a seat next to her and with the press of a button a pair of wires uncoiled from its other arm. Cerise's eyes widened in momentary surprise. "I'm just full of surprises." Proxy joked. "You never know what's up my sleeve." Cerise half chuckled.

"So what is this then?" she asked.

"I believe it's called a mana-writer." Proxy said. "I borrowed the technology from a world where mana has very similar properties to yours. It lets you wipe clean the data stored within mana. It's normally a precision tool but I'm thinking with a bit of perseverance we might be able to erase enough of those other personalities that you won't have any problems staying in control any more. That'd be nice right?" Cerise gave an exhausted nod.

"Is it going to hurt."

"My dear you won't feel a thing."

Proxy took the silvery sharp wires in its rusted hand and pressed them into the soft flesh of Cerise's temple.

"Liar." she said, with a half-smile. Proxy didn't respond, it was at that moment finally realizing the sheer volume of conflicting personalities and desires stored within her mana. "Am I supposed to feel any different?" she asked after a minute or so had passed.

"Just relax." Proxy said. "It'll all be over in a minute."

Cerise did relax. The wires were uncomfortable but not painful and she finally had some hope for the future. If this was to work she wouldn't even need a mana dampener. She and Clara would beat the Monitor and then... who knows what then. The world would be her oyster. Yes she'd done some pretty terrible borderline unforgivable things when she'd been Aph but that was behind her. She was going to do one very good thing, save a number of people she probably couldn't even fathom, and maybe it would balance out. Maybe she would get her happy ending after all. There was only one thing that was bothering her.

"You know," she said, "your voice sounds really familiar but I just can't place it."

"Don't worry about it." said Proxy.

"No." Cerise insisted, with a sudden air of panic. "You said it was Xan, but I... I don't remember him. I remember remembering him but... why can't I remember?"

"It's alright." said Proxy soothingly. "Just let it go."

Cerise stared at Proxy incomprehendingly. "Who are you?" she demanded. "Where is this? What's going on?" She tried to pull back but Proxy grabbed her by the wrists and held her firmly. "Hey let go of me!" She thrashed in the robot's grip but it was useless. Her memories were melting away, already there was nothing left of her life before the battle; of Xan or her time spent on the streets, of where that sword came from. She remembered the introductions, seeing the indistinct visage of the Monitor for the first time and falling stupidly in love and then that was gone as well. Scattershot pieces of her life were missing with no rhyme nor reason. She dimly recalled a dragon, but not the how or the way, and floating down the corridor of an abandoned facility tied to an uncomfortable old chair and a fashionable red and yellow scarf that she had lost somewhere along the way. Her memories flickered out one by one. Her mostly miserable existence under the name Cerise is extinguished in moments. She remembers a massacre and so much hatred now quelled permanently. She forgets the faces of the people she's killed and the names of her competitors, all but one. "Clara!" she calls for help from her love, but it does not come. In the end all she remembers is one moment in a swamp, down on one knee before the woman of her dreams.

"Clara." she whispers.

And then that too is gone and there is nothing left.