RE: Eagle Time Secret Santa 2013 - In progress!
02-09-2014, 01:56 AM
All shall enjoy, it is mandatory, because it is great
Dragon Fogel Wrote:Here's the story you requested.
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Once upon a time, there was a blue MagiCorp Spellslinger Hoodie named Ernesto.
Like all MagiCorp products, Ernesto was magical. In particular, he was magical because he could move without anyone wearing him. He was also very brave, but as far as anyone could tell there was no magic involved in that and MagiCorp does not in any way guarantee that any particular Spellslinger Hoodie will be as brave as Ernesto.
One day, Ernesto got a call from Lamazibar Bluegreen, the CEO of MagiCorp.
"Ernesto, we need your help," Lamazibar said. "We're trying to build a new magic factory, but the enchanted forest keeps attacking the site. The only way MagiCorp can continue making quality magical products, like you, is to burn down the forest. But we need someone very brave to do it. Can you help?"
"Of course I will!" Ernesto said bravely. "Because what's good for MagiCorp is good for magic!"
And so Ernesto bravely marched into the forest carrying a MagiCorp Eldritch Flamethrower. Of course, he was under adult supervision the whole time, as anyone who uses a MagiCorp Eldritch Flamethrower should be.
Ernesto very carefully followed the directions and fired the MagiCorp Eldritch Flamethrower at the forest. But although the MagiCorp Eldritch Flamethrower set the nearest tree on fire, it didn't spread to the whole forest because it promptly started raining.
Fortunately, Ernesto had a MagiCorp Instant Umbrella, which opened the moment the rain started, so he was safe from the rain. But the forest wasn't reduced to ash! Ernesto bravely realized that another approach was called for. He went to the nearest MagiCorp retail outlet and bought a MagiCorp Volcanic Lighter for the low price of just $15.99.
"What a bargain!" Ernesto declared. "And for such a high quality product! This is sure to set the forest on fire!"
So Ernesto stood in the middle of the forest and used the MagiCorp Volcanic Lighter. And sure enough, a moment later there was a lit volcano on the floor of the forest! When it erupted, it was sure to ignite everything.
Of course, it was also dangerous to be within thirty-five meters of a lit volcano when it erupted, so Ernesto ran out of the forest and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
"That's funny. The MagiCorp Volcanic Lighter is guaranteed to erupt in just fifteen minutes!" Ernesto suddenly gasped. "Did I buy a defective product? No, that can't be! Not from MagiCorp!"
But a brief investigation in the MagiCorp CameraChopper revealed the truth: the forest had grown over the volcano! The enchanted forest was clearly a wily foe, and Ernesto would need something even better than the MagiCorp Volcanic Lighter to defeat it!
"But what could be better than the MagiCorp Volcanic Lighter? It's one of the top-rated products in the world!"
And then the answer struck him.
"Of course! The MagiCorp Phoenix Whistle!"
So Ernesto bought a MagiCorp Phoenix Whistle, a bargain at $24.99, stood at the entrance to the forest, and blew on it, producing a beautiful melody. A majestic phoenix appeared, and asked Ernesto for his wish, while noting that MagiCorp does not guarantee that your Phoenix Whistle will summon a majestic-wish-granting phoenix.
"I wish the enchanted forest was on fire!" Ernesto declared.
"What a brave and heroic wish. It shall be granted!" the phoenix declared. It flew through the enchanted forest, setting everything on fire.
The forest soon burned to ash, and MagiCorp was able to build their new factory and continue producing high-quality merchandise.
"Thanks, Ernesto!" Lamazibar said. "You're a hero to MagiCorp, and to magic! How can we ever repay you? Perhaps with a free MagiCorp MagiCycle?"
"There's no need for that!" Ernesto bravely declared. "Just keep making quality magical products! That's all the reward I'll ever need!"
And the shareholders lived happily ever after.
This Secret Santa Compensatory Gift has been brought to you by MagiCorp.