Waiter Quest

Lance Watercress?

Julius Manchester Faust

Ah yes, of course! The name on the tag is none other than LANCE FAUST!

...your admirably competent coworker.

What he lacks in COORDINATION and GOOD LOOKS he makes up for with a respectable hoard of ADVANCED WAITERING TECHNOLOGY and an enviable PERSONAL CHARM. You suspect he'll be rushing back here for his IDENTITY shortly. Perhaps you'll even bump into him before your DATE arrives. Whatever the case may be, we still don’t have YOUR NAME, buster!

>Walter Quest

e: I would have to go with Percival "Percy" Valentine if I only get one pick

Fortunately, your NAMETAG was in your vest pocket the entire time! Your name is WALTER VALENTINE, professional alleged lady killer. Brimming with UNMATCHED CONFIDENCE, your only weakness is your INCREDIBLY SENSITIVE SKIN, to which you vigorously apply MASCULINE CREAMS AND LOTIONS every morning. Though it’s only been a little more than a month since your latest and greatest PARTICULARLY AWKWARD BREAKUP, you were back on your feet in record time and are already preparing to celebrate that span of a month to a NEW BEGINNING in coupleship. That being said, if you don’t get a move on you’re not going to have a dinner with which to celebrate!

>Take a closer look at that carton of orange juice

You’d be happy to! It’s the only discovered carton of OLDE BUFFETIAN (buh feesh’ in) ORANGE JUICE, and it happens to be the Valentine FAMILY HEIRLOOM. The mysteriously tangy brew never goes bad and maintains a constant, refreshingly cool temperature. It’s said to have been concocted in OLDE BUFFET, a mystical, ancient city whose ruins NEW BUFFET was supposedly built on. You’ve never been sure what to make of the legends, but this drink is as good a proof as any. On top of its preservative properties, it also boasts of a somewhat MAGICAL, REINVIGORATING TASTE. Perhaps you could test it on something as an example…

>Clean up that wilting plant over there!

That should work perfectly!



You MAGICALLY REINVIGORATE the decorative tree. It comes as a surprise to you that you guys don’t just use artificial plants, but at the same time you’d expect nothing but the best from the FABRIC NAPKIN. Because of the plant’s heightened realness attribute, it even spawns a few OLDE BUFFETIAN ORANGES, jam packed with the carton’s volatile juices. WATERING PLANTS with the ORANGE JUICE has generally been the most convenient way to refill your JUICE CARTON, and likely the sole reason it has stood the test of time as the family heirloom. You plan to keep it that way and have pledged in advance that you would be careful not to run the carton dry.

Open the menu.

You pluck the THREE (3) O.B. ORANGES and store them in your PORCELAINVENTORY. As long as the weight of the items on the tray remains stable on both sides, you can theoretically carry an infinite number of items. It’s not a particularly hard task for a waiter of your dexterity, so long as you avoid taking along anything PARTICULARLY HEAVY.

You balance the ORANGES rather easily towards the center of the tray.

While you’re here, you take the time to REVIEW the rest of your WAITER STATS.

Furthest from your PORCELAINVENTORY and closest to your bulbous ears you find your SPICE RACK, which in a manner of speaking serves as your LIFE COUNT. It’s like your mother always said: “Life is the variety of spices!” Additional spices can be found across the world in FIRST AID KITS, or created in the BREAK ROOM’s SPOSE-N-SPICE with BATTLE SPOILS. We’ll get to more on these later.

Below your SPICE RACK is the Fabric Napkin BATTLE MENU! It contains special attacks you can spend your TIPS on to give yourself an EDGE in battle! Each restaurant has its own battle menu to find, with varying prices and values.

Your TIPS and JUICE bar can be found in the upper right hand corner of the page, though they are fairly self-explanatory. Your TIPS bar measures the amount of cash you have on hand, while the JUICE bar serves as a MAGIC METER of sorts. JUICE can be used in a variety of ways, though it generally boils down to pouring it on things. It can be REFILLED by expending an ORANGE.

Investigate the kitchen, let's see what you're working with.

Yes, finally! Let’s head on back to the kitchen and get this party startEUGH DEAR GOD.

There appears to be a FLUID. What do you do?