SCP-MAFIA -NIGHT 4 - ...again!? 10/21

Sawy Pardner My-oo, but I'mma'fray'd yer stuck yid'me speakin' like this for etern-e-tee, 'n I mean that moes'in'seer'lee. See, when I ferst re-er-lies'd I was a cactus, I thank it fair too'say I was mighty aggervat'd, 'cause y'know 'ow I used ta be a stickler fer me "Queen's English" 'n'awl. But ta tell yer troof, I be startin' ta enjoy me-self ratter more than I did when I was'mong ta livin'; I got no pawticular weights's'pon my shulders, what wid me not 'avin' any no mores. I dun 'av ta worry bait stayin' alive any lenger 'cause I be dead now - thar be abso-lutely no darn way o gettin' riddo me! That's right folks - y'all stuck wid me from now till kingdum cum! I reckon I got a fair chance a'bein the only sentee-ent fella lef' standin' come ta close, unless Mister Cactus Controlluh gets me anudder Pardner ta share me supah-speshul-cactus-only-gawssips wid, 'n that I thank dey might to-night, y'hear?

Now y'all orta darn well 'urry up 'n string Pardner 'doben'awse up by'is tusks so we'c'n stop this here fer-ra-go o fee-ass-coze from becomin' molasses... sum'ud'us be gettin' awfully bored...