Sublime Showdown (Round 1: Faerie)

His eyes were flitting back and forth rapidly.

One moment, he was polishing an already-clean tankard with his trusted grimy handkerchief, the next, his body was frozen, and a bizarre sight was presented to him. Bizarre, yet glorious. Everything was different, the people, the architecture, hell, even the drinks. But it was undeniably a bar. He tried to take in as much of the place as possible. His head buzzed with information, that he could not quite make sense of.

• That counter was made from the finest Plexispaceglass available in the Nautilus Termini system, discovered accidentally by Prosytterian ore miners in 54 (=- 4/3) rotations of Martonia.
  
• This drink was made from the distilled venom of the Ambrosianewt, normally considered to be toxic unless mixed with Etherstrawberry Juice.
  
• And those tentacled people over there were actually pirates from the farthest reaches of the Oblivion Nebula.

He had wanted to investigate more, but a guttural voice referred specifically to him, and it was only then that he realized what was going on. He had been taken to a battle to the death.

He continued to watch and absorb information, but now knew that this was not his final destination. Now disinterested, he started listening to Darling drone on about the rules and the other contestants. He had tried to glean information from them, but it seems they were still a blank slate to him. That meant they were like protagonists. This was unsettling. Fortunately, this being a battle to the death, they were not immune to death. He would be able to take care of them if they ever threatened his bar. Once he built it, of course.

Then, just as he thought he would, he was spirited away to the Realm of the Fey Folk. Now allowed to move again, he gingerly set his tankard down. Just then, he felt an odd bond to it. It was calling out to him, asking him not to let go of it. But it was too late. He had already set it down, and the bond was broken. He tried to pay it no mind, as he pocketed his handkerchief and looked around. Neverland was indeed a beautiful place. It was quite eerie, though, especially as he took a closer look.

• These mushrooms were made artificially huge using a magical fertilizer made from the bones of the dwarves killed in the Great Sparkle Mountain Battle in 476.
  
• These birds, although handsome, have been known to be violently territorial and invasive. Attempting to remove them led to the extinction of the brownies.
  
• That tree was actually a notorious nymph sex dungeon, made famous for that thing they did where they would-

That's enough of that. He moved the information absorption to his subconscious, and he shifted focus to making actual plans.

Now then, what to do? He would definitely need to either find a bar and somehow claim it, or make a bar from scratch. Until then, if the unwillingness to let go of the tankard was any indication, the lone tankard would have to count as his "bar". He picked it up and felt a sort of relief. He supposed it would be a good idea to find a drink of some sort to fill it with. And so, he strode off in search of the nearest village.

---

Blue spires towered into the skies, cutting the moon into pieces. They glowed with a pleasing iridescent light. These were the famous landmarks of Wisteria, a relatively large elven city of around 500 people (considered to be a metropolis in these parts, he noted). As he approached it, he noticed his ears starting to narrow to a point, and his beard starting to disappear. He knew he would miss his beard, but he did feel more at ease. This would have to do.