Last Day

It's obvious what the plan will be. Each of you will take a role, one of which is throwing balloons and handing out balloons to your other party members, and the other person's role is to pull the fire extinguisher. I think the person roughly as wide as a pole would be better at evading while reaching for the fire alarm, while the other much stronger person would be better at throwing balloons.

"Let's say," Ted starts "that these two dots are us, like the 'You are here' thing on those mall help kiosks. We're here."



"And here's all the cubicles, walls, windows, and whatever else. And then there's Manfreddie and the Janitor out there, and they're probably running around, but we'll put them...here. And..."



"There. That's the map of this floor, I think. I haven't been on this floor much, but it seems to be pretty similar to the one my cubicle is on."



"Then most of the floors are like this?"



"Not all of them. But most of them are like this. I don't remember which floor this is, though. I'm kind of just guessing."

"Do you know where the fire alarm is?"

"No, but it won't be hard to find."



"Then how can you be sure there's even a fire alarm in the first place?"

"What?"

"I don't know, if the BOSS is cheap enough to use those crusty, old monitors, would he risk installing a fire alarm just for some jerk to pull it, activate the sprinklers and short out all the computers?"

"...Well, I don't know. I think it's law to install a pull system, but maybe he could have gotten away with it by just installing sprinklers. That's...huh. I'm going to look for it anyways, of course, but you could be right."



"And are the windows parallel to these cubicle rows?"

"I think so. Why?"

"Because that doesn't make any sense, design wise at least."



"The exit's up top, so the windows can't be there. But nobody in their right mind would make the windows parallel to the cubicle rows, it makes no sense. The entrances to the cubicles face each other, so when you're in the rows, you have absolutely no view of the windows. The cubicle rows would be perpendicular to the windows, so there's always a view of them except when you're in a cubicle. I think you have the direction of the cubicle rows wrong. Right?"





"I have no idea how I got by for two years straight without you, Jen."

"Awh, shush. I'm the same way too, you know. But...hmm..."



"So then what?" Jennifer says, "If there's no fire alarm, what do we do then?"



"Well, I'm going to be evading aren't I? I'm tall, and my arms are weak but they're pretty long I think. I could probably reach the sprinklers with a chair or something. I'll find the fire alarm, and if there isn't one then I'll find a way to set off the sprinklers. You didn't start smoking again while I was gone, did you?"

"No! I would never do that."

"Sorry, I just wanted to know if you still had that lighter on you." Jennifer shakes her head. "Yeah. It's fine, I'll find another way. I know a guy who smokes, maybe I could ask him. Hey, you never really told me, are you okay with fighting?"



"I...don't want to, but I know I have to. I'm not scared to do it, but I don't want to hurt anybody. As long as I'm not hurting anybody, I'm okay. I just throw the water balloon at them and they just...get knocked unconscious. If that's all it is, that's okay. It's just that..."



"It's just that it's my first day on a new job, and I fuck it up again, but on my first day. That's a new fucking record, okay! And what's bullshit is that we met up again for the first time in years, and it's on a day like this. I don't even know what the fuck is going on. Computers are fucking brainwashing people, Ted! They're turning them into monsters, and they're attacking innocent people! Why the fuck is this happening? Why is it happening to us, today? On my first day, and the first time I meet you in years. It's just...I don't know. I want to go home. I want everything to go back to normal. I want to live with you. I mean, this is the first time we've been together out of college. There's so much I want to do with you now and so much could happen today. You could die. I..."



"Jennifer. I know. I'm sorry, I don't show it much but I feel the same way."



"There's so much I want to do with you. I'm sorry all of this is happening. If I could stop it easily, I would. I want everything to be normal. I'm sorry I can't do that, and I'm really, really sorry you're feeling this way. And I can never apologize for disappearing either. But I know that we can do something about it if we try."



"We've both been through so much together, and we can get through this. I know we can. It's going to be hell, and yes, anything could happen. But I'm going to make sure that it doesn't. I wouldn't let anything happen to you."



"When this is all over, we can do everything we should have been doing for the past two years. So let's do it."

"...Let's do it."



That didn't exactly go according to plan.