Lets play Crusader of Centy - Chapter One: All My Friends are Dicks

Chapter One: My Friends Are Assholes



Butts4eva. Thank you all for being here today!"

"Happy birthday, Butts4eva! you are now 14 years old. I have a present for you."



lost his life in battle... I really don't want to hand this sword to you, but it is the law of this land to hold the sword and go to battle when a boy turns 14..........."

Ah yes, expected at 14 years of age to go stab things full of holes. What a lovely country.

ANYWAY

As you may have noticed up there in the corner we have apples. Not heart containers, honestly! Apples! They measure how much health we have at any given time. (not like Heart Containers at all honestly!) and if you run out of apples, you die. As this game has no continue screen, if you don't save religiously and happen to get your ass run through you are going to lose a quite a bit of progress. I will counter that by... well by saving religiously. What else?

Now let's see what these kids have to say.



four!

Of course the chance of dying horribly excites you.

Oh well. Let's talk to Good ol' Billy.



ASSHOLE. Oh well. Maybe the girl won't be a bi- what the hell, fireworks?



Alice: "By the way, it's the day brave Amon leaves. Let's go see him!"

Billy: "Don't forget to give me a send-off, too, when my turn to go comes, ok?"

Alice: "Oh, Billy...! Becoming a hero is not an easy task! You'll never become one if you don't train yourself at Rafflesia Training Ground!"

Pico: "C'mon, hurry! I like Amon. I like all strong heroes!"



And then they all go wandering off, because fuck you, we only came for cake.



Pico: "Isn't the castle up ahead? I'm waiting for Amon, I want to give him a send-off."

Alice: "Being a hero is every man's dream. I'm sure Amon will be a great hero one day!"

Billy: "Butts4eva, I think you should report to the King about your 14th birthday."

I wander inside the castle, and start chatting up the residents, none of which are too bothered about a kid wandering in with a sword. Oh well.



You should learn to throw your sword at the training ground before you go."



King: "Your journey will be a long one, but I expect you to do well. Good luck."

Amon: "Yes, your highness."

And then Amon wanders off to be completely inconsequential to the plot for awhile.



time. Your father was so brave. He saved this town many times with that very sword... Enough old tales for now. You have come to report your 14th birthday, have you not? I will grant you the right to train at the Rafflesia Training Grounds. Train hard and train well."

And then for some reason I get lost and find myself in the castle dungeon, talking to this jerk here:



We are using them for research. I think we should just waste them..."

After that lovely chat I work my way OUT of the castle and to the south gate out of town, and head for the training grounds.



End of Chapter!