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Gator · 02-15-2013, 05:46 AM

Originally posted on MSPA by Gator.

Yes folks, it is time once again for our

SUPER INCREDIBLE VALENTINE'S DAY-END EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Now then, let's have a look at how well everybody did in the The Bachelor challenge yesterday, shall we?

I wonder, which lucky contestant will get the opportunity to go out on a date with their handsome Gator host?

AND WHO WILL BE SERVED UP AS THE GATORS' NEXT MEAL???

*DRUUUUUUMROOOOOLL*

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Holy shit.

Apparently Mirdini's pungent stench was so tantalizing that he managed to defeat all of the other contestants in a landslide! Incredible!

Congratulations Mirdini, you have won the enviable prize of an all-expenses-paid date with the charming Gator! Now then, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for my date. EctoBiologist, we'll come back and deal with your punishment in a little while.

See you later, alligators. (Nerd Alligators.)

Suddenly, Mirdini gets dragged out the room by a pack of Feral Interns! The Gator heads off in the other direction to go put some clothes on. The rest of you just kinda stand around in the Entrance Hall awkwardly for the next few hours or so.

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About an hour later, after Mirdini finishes getting all dolled up, he emerges from his dressing room, only to discover that his room is no longer located on the set of the The Bachelor mansion, but rather, on the deck of a gigantic Cruise Liner!

He doesn't get to dwell on this fact for long though, as he quickly notices his date strutting towards him, wearing an expensive suit and grinning like a character from a Dreamworks movie. The two of them take the chance to compliment each other on their excellent choices in both fashion and romantic partners.

And then they both head out and have a wonderful evening together. The two of them dance in the ship's ballroom for awhile, before bonding at dinner over their mutual love of kidnapping and devouring strangers. The gator even holds the door open for him on the way out. Wow, what a gentleman.

As the night is wrapping up, the Gator suggests that they try reenacting that one scene from Titanic before going home. (No, not that scene, you weirdo.) Mirdini says that he always thought that movie was dumb but okay whatever.

The two of them climb up to the bow of the ship to do some dumb movie reference together. There's seagulls flying around everywhere and the light from the sunset reflecting off the ocean and it's really beautiful and perfect and easily the most romantic moment in either of their short young lives.

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But suddenly...

TRAGEDY STRIKES!

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MIRDINI!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

<Click here for atmosphere please>

VVV Down here too VVV

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Okay so anyways, Mirdini didn't make it. Well whatever. I guess we can just let him be our murder victim for today.

So with him out of the way, it looks like the CARD OF MYSTERY will end up in the hands of our runner-up, Boogeyman!

Unfortunately for him, he also got sent to purgatory before his time, so we'll have to give the prize to our backup runner-up, Masterblade. Congratulations! You managed to fumble your way into victory in a game that you weren't even entered in in the first place.

Masterblade receives one CARD OF MYSTERY. Use it wisely.

EVENT TWO START

Suddenly, the Cruise Ship starts shaking wildly! Everybody gets out to see what the damage is.

"Bad news" says the Captain. "We've run aground along the eastern coast of Siberia. We'll probably be stuck here for months. Better make yourselves comfortable."

You all look over at the Gator expectantly, but apparently he's far too heartbroken to put much effort into the EVENT for today.

.......................

Oh alright, fine.

Let's see, we're in Russia right now, so I guess we'll just call this the Anti-Capitalism Round.

You all have to try to fit in with the locals, so whoever has the most money at the end of tomorrow evening will be EATEN ALIVE. You can get rid of your money by donating it to the charity of your choice, or to another player.

And no, I don't care about whether Russia's still communist or not, so don't even start."

Well, what are you waiting for? We've all got a very important board game to play. Let's go.