Last Day

Originally posted on MSPA by Stickmeister.

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Spoiler

[img]images/smilies/icon_burro.gif[/img] Is it wrong of me to imagine George Takei voicing Gumby?

Not at all, after drawing it, the same thought occurred to me! George Takei is awesome.

Anyway, here's an update that's very late, so I apologize!

>Be the Snappy Shaq. Contemplate your new life as an EXECUTE zombie.

You are now the Snappy Shaq.



For you have always been the Snappy Shaq.



And you have been nobody but the Snappy Shaq.

> Be Jennifer. Be fighting off zombies like you've been doing it your whole life.

You are now the running black-haired woman.

Zombies? You're not sure what that could mean. You're more focused on finding Ted. You have to find Ted.

God dammit, you knew it was him. You knew it was him, you recognized him but you just believed it was your false hope. And he knows it's you. He wouldn't be able to get that wrong.

But he lied to you. Again. He disappeared for so many years with no explanation and when you meet him again by sheer coincidence, he just takes advantage of you. That means he's hiding something from you. God dammit, god fucking...He's going to explain everything. The very next time you meet him, he's going to explain everything that happened. And if he doesn't...then you can't trust him any more. You've been stressing over this for years and you don't want to meet up with him again just for him to pretend like nothing happened. But you...auuugh god dammit!

You don't even know if you should try and find him. You should just play his game and pretend you don't know him.

Except...what did La-La say? He was trying to protect you? It was romantic? That doesn't make any sense, how could he possibly protect you by leaving for years? Was he glossing his story over when he told it to La-La? If--



Ohhh fuck.





...No, no you don't want to deal with this guy again. You don't even want to talk to him. Just get out of there before he sees you. You don't want to talk to anyone right now.



Where the fuck is he?







Hey hey! What's happening on this floor! Hey, uh...



I'm not saying you shouldn't help La-La, but you don't really want to be dragging a young girl's unconscious body around. Not like you can actually do anything to help her. Either she wakes up in a minute or two or someone finds her and helps her, but dragging or carrying La-La around wouldn't really help anything given that she'll probably wake up in a minute or two.

You really need to find Jennifer anyway. You don't know what you're more worried about: the fact that she could be a computer zombie by now or the fact that she is looking for you. That means she probably knows. Which means you'll have to explain pretty much everything to her, and you're not even sure if she'll understand all of it.

...if these things are computer monitors, maybe they'd short circuit if they were hit with water? See if you can scrounge up some water guns in the office.

You know, that's not a bad idea. You'll have to remember that. You know what's also not a bad idea? Mental Notes. You create a mental note for both the effects of water on zombies and one on the fact to create mental notes later, because you completely forgot Mental Notes existed.

Not sure how that works, but that's stupid-ass video game physics for you!



"Hey! Ted!"

You suddenly hear a voice to your left and you see--HEY!



"DUUUUUUDE! How's it?"

> Be Beetle.

>Be Beedle preparing for the zombie invasion

Yes. Yes this will do. A helmet is important. Although this seems to be some unknown strain of virus not covered by the Zombie Survival Guide, you're clothes are hopefully thick enough to fight it off until you can make armor. You remember Rick managing to stop a zombie bite because his leather jacket was thick enough. It will do. For weapons, you will opt for melee and what else you can find, Dead Rising style. You'll just use what's behind this door for studying this strain of virus.



A locked door. You've trained for this as well...



...sure you trained this specific skill to break into locked rooms for supplies, but this is no different. No, this will be easy.

> Be a duck.

"Here, ducky ducky..."

> Be a duck that we haven't been before.

"BUBBLES!"

>Hey, remember that fat guy from Marketing? What's he up to?

Oh man this is the best assignment you've ever been given. Manfreddie told you just to watch these ducks and never leave the room until he says so. But these ducks are so cute! What could he be doing where his ducks shouldn't follow him?

Oh who cares, LOOK AT ALL THESE DUCKS AW MAN

>Be Manfreddie

> be manfreddie

"C'mon, Jan, Ted's probably there by now!"

>Be the Janitor.

"Haah...I'm not...as young as...I used to be...hooh..."

"You're the one that wanted to take the stairs instead of the elevator to prove Ted wrong."

"I thought...I could take it...hooh...just let me get a breather, okay?"

"Alright, but I'm sure by now Ted has probably taken care of that computer zombie."

>Be THE BOSS

"DAMMIT! HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE! GOD DAMMIT, NOTHING'S FINISHED! MY PLANS ARE GOING TO FALL APART BECAUSE SOME DUMBASS ENTERED EXECUTE INTO THAT USELESS FOOL'S COMPUTER! AUUUGH! FIRE HIM! FIRE THAT USELESS SACK OF SHIT, HE MEANS NOTHING TO ME ANY MORE!"



"Uhm..."

"WHAT? WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY STILL HAVE, JUDITH?"

"Ah, uhm...yes, uh..."



You clear your throat. "Yes, I could not locate the, uh, Ted Tomkins, is it?"

"TED? I DON'T CARE ABOUT TED ANYMORE. MY PLANS ARE ALREADY FALLING APART, BUT HE'S DONE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. I DON'T NEED HIM ANY MORE. HE CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT ANYWAY, SO HE'S NOT A THREAT. LABEL HIM AS EXECUTED.

"Oh. Okay then. What about Jennifer Hazely? She is still down as EXECUTE."

"JENNIFER IS MY QUEEN PIECE. IF WE'RE JUST GOING TO CONTINUE AS PLANNED, I NEED HER IN MY OFFICES."

"Yes sir."

...Nngh. You can't handle this any more...



You are now the Snappy Shaq again.

As you always have been.

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SpoilerAlright! These updates have been really big, so the next update will just introduce someone new, which you get to name! I basically pulled the Snappy Shaq because it's FIVE FUCKING AM and I want to get this update out. Let's see if you can get any good suggestions in for an inanimate can of soda on the ground knowing that I'm just going to be introducing a new character next update! HaHA!