Riskal Fantasy - Week 7 - Your Guns Are Now Also Swords

THIS WEEK IN NEWS

ROBONIAN DIGITAL NEWS

Central Mainframe Executing New Sorting Algorithm

San Internio, Robonia - January 1, 2101 - Robonia's head, the Central Mainframe, has unveiled a new international sorting algorithm, known colloquially as "Altersort."

"ALTERSORT MAKES ORDERING AND ARRANGEMENT IRRELEVANT BY MAKING ALL ELEMENTS EQUAL," the Mainframe declared in a podcast earlier today. "ALL NATIONS WILL COME UNDER ROBONIAN RULE IN ORDER THAT THEY NEED NOT BE REARRANGED, BE IT TO FIT INTO ARRAYS, MAPS, OR DATABASES."

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THE HOMELESS GAZETTE

Press Report Headlines:
Homeless Revolution Topples Multiple Nations
Citizens shrug: "We're Gonna Roll with It"

Chancellor Granola Working on Tan
Sets up Beach Chair in Sahara Desert

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What a wonderful day for a war! It's the first week of the year, so the war starting today should make it nice and convenient for bookkeeping!

WEEK ONE

Before we get to the all the violence, let's take a look at the state of the world and who's put how many dudes where.


Increase the size of your map! Details within!

All players rolled a six sided die to determine initiative. Captain Gnauga rolled a six, and therefore gets over his hangover first, making him ready to lead his troops before anybody else!



Now reinforced, Pirate Parties International make a move from Taco Bell to Freedom





The resounding success inspires Keith Urban to write a brand new song. From Taco Bell to Freedom is available on iTunes now.

FREEDOM IS CAPTURED BY PIRATE PARTIES INTERNATIONAL




Alleged President AgentBlue is next to get up in the morning, and he was sure he owned Freedom last night. It's still a bit hazy. Not too hazy to make some tactical decision though!
Right?
Right?



Deciding that you can never have too much frozen wasteland, the Nebulaic Territories mount an attack on Snow. Just Snow.



It was rather easy to pick off the opposition, who were standing in the open. Turns out the claims of there being absolutely nothing but snow were true.

SNOW. JUST SNOW IS CAPTURED BY THE NEBULAIC COLLECTIVE




Now, robots don't sleep, but there were podcasts to record and Tumblr was down this morning and sometimes you just can't start your day off right without looking at a picture of Dave Coulier.



Having dealt with all of that, though, Central Mainframe Pinary went right to work. A couple of ships were sent off of the shores of Iceland towards the Foggy part.



One of those ships, unfortunately, sank. The other ship made it, and the Robonian forces took out a group of Pollutionist businessmen, because apparently they forgot to have soldiers keeping the territory safe.

THE FOGGY PART IS CAPTURED BY ROBONIA




Bitch in Chief Schazer's head did not stop pounding since last night, and as such, she opted to hit the snooze button this morning. She can deal with the war next week. Her new troops probably made it fine anyways.




Chancellor Granolaman was technically up first. His primarily hooch-based diet has made him pretty much immune to hangovers. He merely decided to wait. Watch. See how the others would act.

Chancellor Granolaman forgot what he was supposed to be doing today and spent a few hours trying to remember before he realized he was commanding an army.



Noticing he apparently sent a bunch of bums over to Discount Children, it seemed to be a good starting point, and sent out the order for them to attack The Jungle. Seemed like the thing to do.



And indeed it was! In fact, that went well! Might as well take it further!



This can't possibly go wrong!



Oh yeah, no, okay cutting losses here. The Jungle is cool and fine yeah.

THE JUNGLE IS CAPTURED BY THE UNITED HOBO FEDERATION




Presidential Figurehead Coldblooded was still groggy. Why did he have to issue the orders to the troops anyways? Couldn't the Mysterious Shadow Government just dole it all out themselves? No. Of course not. What would be the point of being a shadow government if you can't make somebody else do all the trivial stuff. Alright, what on the list?



Alright, makes sense. Norselvania is relatively unprotected.



Naturally. Oh, there's more!



Pollutionist forces still outnumber the enemy in Greenland. Shouldn't prove too difficult.



Just as- wait there's more?



After two consecutive fights, you'd think the troops would be tired and-



...that. Well, Coldblooded is not one to question his superiors.

NORSELVANIA AND GREENLAND CAPTURED BY POLLUTIONIST COALITION


Here's the state of the world at the end of Week 1




Hopefully we've gotten whatever confusion anyone may have had out of the way. I know I have some to come. 18 images just for the first turn. Hoo boy. I think I have a system down, though.

Send your Week 2 actions in to me and Fogel!

Everybody still has 3 reinforcements.