Duct Tape

Get your cow back to play the lead role. Bribe her with the milk.

What? After you went to all that trouble? Besides, you drank it while you were watching your soaps. You do still have this orange juice you stole from your neighbor, though, but you're not sure if the cow would want that. Or the milk, for that matter.

But even if that works, there's a bigger problem: this solution doesn't involve duct tape at all! It only involves bribing a cow you made out of duct tape. And how would you even contact her?

>Create a duct tape duplicate of the duct tape lead.

Oh, of course, you can just make a new lead character out of duct tape. It's so simple! It's not like making another copy of something out of duct tape has ever gone wrong for you before, after all!

You get to work and soon you've created an exact double of your lead out of duct tape. You ask him to get back into the show so you can see how it ends.

>Duct Tape Duplicate: Be evil.

Unfortunately, your new lead actor is just laughing maniacally and forms his duct tape arm into a duct tape gun. He shoots you with a duct tape bullet and runs off, declaring that he'll rule the world with the power of duct tape!

He doesn't realize, however, that a duct tape bullet isn't very dangerous unless it's fired at a much higher speed than his duct tape gun could manage. You were knocked to the floor, but you're otherwise unhurt.

Oh, but that lawyer you duct taped to the ceiling is yelling at you. You probably should have put duct tape over his mouth, too.

So, to review: your duct tape cow is flying off in a duct tape jet, your duct tape car is flying off in a duct tape jet, the news is entirely focused on those things and is pre-empting your soaps, you've had two duct tape lead actors for your duct tape soap opera run off and one of them is trying to take over the world, and a lawyer is yelling at you. The duct tape lawyer isn't, but that's probably because you put duct tape over his mouth.

And you still don't know if Miranda shot the right twin!

Wow, that's a lot of problems to deal with. What are you going to do?