Epic Clash - COMPLETE!

Epic Clash - COMPLETE!
#16
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!]
Originally posted on MSPA by Baphomet.

McBatman Wrote:
Baphomet Wrote:Alright, unless I'm mistaken, McBatman, this is your first time. Welcome to the exciting world of Grand Battles! You've got a spot for sure. Though, could you possibly change your color? that combination's a little hard to read.
How's the blue and white? And thanks for the warm welcome to a world of death and misery. [img]images/smilies/apple.gif[/img] [img]images/smilies/icon_up.gif[/img]
That'll do just fine.

Lighing Wrote:Name: James Raven
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Color: This.
Physical description: [Image: 300vb0l.png] 6' 8"
Personality overview: Completely broken shell of a man. He often attacks anything he sees.
Abilities: His right arm is made of energy. He can stretch it to nearly limitless lengths. He has insane upper body strength.
Equipment: His spiked shoulder generates an energetic arm. This arm is very powerful, as stated above. Touching it will "shock" things. His left hand has no fingers, but has claws.
Backstory: James is a warrior of darkness. His family was killed by rogues, and he was mortally wounded. A wizard gave him his energy producing shoulder pad, which allows him to fight and have an arm, and he forged claws and attached them to his left hand. He has sworn revenge against the men who murdered his family, and searches for them to this day. He has been tricked by the semi-omnipotent being that the Epic Clash participants are those rogues.

My brother helped me with this a lot!
This, however, needs some work. You've got the skeleton of an entry, which is to say you have the core of each part. You just have to put some meat on it. What does being a warrior of darkness entail? If he was mortally wounded, why is he still alive? What's with the armor that's in the image, but not in your equipment list? Why did this wizard help him? How does being a broken shell of a man equate to attacking everything he sees?

You're also being kind of vague about his powers. "nearly limitless length" and "insane upper body strength" don't really tell me much.

I'm also not sure he could have been tricked by someone in any meaningful way into thinking the other contestants are the rogues who killed his family. If you'd read the other grand battles, you'd see that when they start out, they give a brief intro to each character. If you lied to him and told him he'd be competing in a contest against the rogues, then you've told him about the battle and broken the rules. If you tell him after the introduction, then you've interfered after the battle started, which is also breaking the rules.

I'd recommend you go at least read through the first grand battle, linked in the first post. That should give you an idea of how these things usually work. Read some of the posts by the characters, especially in the later rounds, and see how much of an idea they have about how their character behaves and interacts with others. Then come back, throw some more meat on them bones, and I'm sure you'll have a great entry!
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Messages In This Thread
Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 03:52 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Eight Spots Remaining] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 05:10 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Eight Spots Remaining] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 05:18 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:30 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:40 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:42 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:43 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 07:09 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by MalkyTop - 02-03-2010, 07:24 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by Infrared - 02-03-2010, 09:03 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 10:42 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 01:20 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 01:41 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:02 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 06:20 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 07:57 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 08:15 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 08:27 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 08:30 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by Pinary - 02-03-2010, 08:34 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by btp - 02-03-2010, 08:45 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-03-2010, 11:55 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by Pinary - 02-04-2010, 12:07 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 12:08 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 04:22 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 12:52 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 02:03 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 02:18 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 03:14 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 04:00 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by GBCE - 02-04-2010, 04:04 PM
Re: Epic Clash - by Pinary - 02-05-2010, 03:39 AM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by Woffles - 08-25-2010, 09:55 PM
Re: Epic Clash [Apply today!] - by Pinary - 01-28-2011, 04:13 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by Pinary - 05-12-2011, 03:01 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by Dragon Fogel - 05-12-2011, 03:04 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by Pinary - 05-12-2011, 03:31 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by Not The Author - 05-12-2011, 03:40 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by SleepingOrange - 07-02-2011, 06:47 AM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by GBCE - 07-05-2011, 12:01 PM
Re: Epic Clash - COMPLETE! - by SleepingOrange - 07-05-2011, 01:26 PM