Re: The Fatal Conflict! (GBS2G7) (Round 1: Everybody's Dead!)
07-23-2010, 10:22 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by SleepingOrange.
[color=#000040]It's a pretty typical assumption regarding barbarians that they have two emotional states: bloodthirsty rage and horny. That's really a silly assumption; barbarians are just as human as anyone else (as anyone else that's human, anyway), and are capable of experiencing the full gamut of feelings. It just so happens that this particular barbarian went immediately from Stereotypical Barbarian State B to Stereotypical Barbarian State A through no real fault of his own. Really, anyone would have. Imagine yourself about to dive into a sea of divine naked flesh, then suddenly plucked with no fanfare from your afterlife, then paralyzed and caged and ordered around like an animal. Now imagine you have a giant axe and know exactly where the man at fault is. Not one person in a hundred would react differently than Kargrek did, civilized or not.
Namely, the hulking warrior swung his axe into the air while yelling a guttural command word; flames coursed dramatically up the enormous weapon's handle and wreathed the blade in flickering red. Once the enchantment was activated, the barbarian swung Strombald over his shoulder and, ignoring the other contestants and their habits of slinking off alone, thundered down the street with a single goal in mind. Each stomp brought him closer to the coffee shop, and each corpse he passed was just one more milestone on the road to vengeance. Ordinarily, the scuffle forming between a sloshed demoness and some other guy would have been interesting for a number of reasons, but there was a more important goal glaring across his mind.
Leather-wrapped feet skidded to a halt outside the oddly-colored frontage of a hipsterish little coffee joint. Kargrek's face, already a rictus of fury, scowled further. An enormous hand balled into a fist; niceties like doorknobs were far from the man that was fury incarnate's mind. Splinters scattered across the little caf
[color=#000040]It's a pretty typical assumption regarding barbarians that they have two emotional states: bloodthirsty rage and horny. That's really a silly assumption; barbarians are just as human as anyone else (as anyone else that's human, anyway), and are capable of experiencing the full gamut of feelings. It just so happens that this particular barbarian went immediately from Stereotypical Barbarian State B to Stereotypical Barbarian State A through no real fault of his own. Really, anyone would have. Imagine yourself about to dive into a sea of divine naked flesh, then suddenly plucked with no fanfare from your afterlife, then paralyzed and caged and ordered around like an animal. Now imagine you have a giant axe and know exactly where the man at fault is. Not one person in a hundred would react differently than Kargrek did, civilized or not.
Namely, the hulking warrior swung his axe into the air while yelling a guttural command word; flames coursed dramatically up the enormous weapon's handle and wreathed the blade in flickering red. Once the enchantment was activated, the barbarian swung Strombald over his shoulder and, ignoring the other contestants and their habits of slinking off alone, thundered down the street with a single goal in mind. Each stomp brought him closer to the coffee shop, and each corpse he passed was just one more milestone on the road to vengeance. Ordinarily, the scuffle forming between a sloshed demoness and some other guy would have been interesting for a number of reasons, but there was a more important goal glaring across his mind.
Leather-wrapped feet skidded to a halt outside the oddly-colored frontage of a hipsterish little coffee joint. Kargrek's face, already a rictus of fury, scowled further. An enormous hand balled into a fist; niceties like doorknobs were far from the man that was fury incarnate's mind. Splinters scattered across the little caf