The $300,000 Fight-A-Thon! [Round Two: Toyetic!]

The $300,000 Fight-A-Thon! [Round Two: Toyetic!]
#41
Re: The $300,000 Fight-A-Thon! [Round One: Storage Park!]
Originally posted on MSPA by Flummox.

Tick, tock

“I am the Warden of the Sixth Ring of Inferno,” he began to advance slowly on Ironjaw as he played back his statement of intent. “You are a sinner, charged with several counts of remorseless murder.”


[color=#P1914]“Ey, ease up, mate!” said Ironjaw, laughing nervously and backing into a crate. “I’m tryin to help you!”[/color]

“Prepare for an eternity of torment.” Warden charged, slamming a steel fist into the stack of boxes directly behind Ironjaw. Wooden splinters peppered Ironjaw’s face.

Eriz tracked the receding figures for a moment. An abnormally large and fast-moving splinter was highlighted from behind the black mirror and Eriz spun on one foot to avoid it, though in truth it probably wouldn’t have dented her armor.

[color=#P1914]“Hey!” said Ironjaw. “I know I’ve killed my share of scientists, but they had it coming!”

Warden’s slowly spinning skull’s face was silent and emotionless. Ironjaw ducked the swing of an elbow and came up with a powerful uppercut that most likely would have severely injured his hand if he hadn’t lost his footing on a rubber ball. He fell, cursing as his fist uncurled to break his fall.[/color]

Eriz began to run away from Warden and Ironjaw. A soft whirring sound emitted from her Sauthorn. Her heart began to pound from adrenaline that was obsolete and unnecessary.

“Hey!” said Dr. Schuster, but Eriz could not hear him over the sound of her breathing, which was echoing around inside her helmet.


Tick, tock, tick

[color=#P1914]“I ain’t done nothin wrong!” said Ironjaw, trying to grab hold of the unfortunately smooth floor as the Warden’s metal hand closed around his leg and pulled him steadily backwards.[/color]

“My lady,” said Telt, “there appears to be a male human following you. His heart rate is dangerously high, most likely from exertion.”

“We will begin our first session with –“ Warden paused as Ironjaw’s plasma rifle blasted a chunk out of his arm. Molten steel dripped down his arm and sizzled. Ironjaw wriggled free and began to run.

“Goddamn Kyelz,” Eriz muttered, swinging around to hoist Schuster onto her shoulders.

Tick, tock

“You will not escape punishment.” Warden put on his best show of speed. Two sinners getting away was far too much; he could not afford this loss of efficiency – spending time and energy chasing a sinner only for them to escape. Sparks began to fly from his cogs.


Eriz pushed her Sauthorn to its limit. Looking back, she could still see splinters flying from Warden’s path.

As Ironjaw ran around and over crates, Warden violently shoved them out of his path. A horrid grating sound crawled out of Warden’s body, the sound of gears sliding sideways and skipping teeth.

Ironjaw slid under a makeshift archway formed by a pile of boxes. One particularly long crate acted as the keystone. Warden saw none of this before his arm cleared the entire setup in one blow. The keystone crate, damaged but intact, went sailing to the left. It crashed to the floor, narrowly missing a cat, who nimbly avoided it.

Felus looked back and saw Guillemet barreling towards him, wings flapping frantically and still shouting promises of safety. Obviously false promises. The crate was blocking his path; it was far too large to climb over. She was going to catch him and do god-knows-what to him and that would be the end of his career as a rebel leader.

“Wait!” he said as she caught up to him. “You know how you can prove that thumbs are superior?”


Guillemet paused. “HOW.”

<font color="#7676C8">“By picking up this box.”


She considered this option. “IT MAY BE HEAVY CONSIDERING ITS PERCEIVED VOLUME.”

Felus slowly backed away. “Ah, but what good are thumbs if you can’t pick up heavy things?”

“VERY WELL.” Guillemet approached the crate and grasped it under the lid. “LET ME DEMONSTRATE.”

She began to lift the crate, obviously quite straining work.
Felus began to eye the narrow gap between the bottom of the crate and the floor. Once it was high enough, he’d slip under and have his escape from this monster. It seemed to go on forever.

“ARE YOU EVEN WATCHING.”

“Of course! I take offense at that accusation.” He edged closer to the crack between the box and the floor. Then the nails attaching the lid to the crate tore out of their holdings and the crate dropped straight down. Felus yelped and jumped as it landed on his tail. There was something very heavy in there.

“HAVE I DEMONSTRATED SUFFICIENTLY THAT OPPOSABLE DIGITS ARE SUPERIOR.” Guillemet looked at him expectantly.

“Umm. No.” What should he say now? “To demonstrate, uh, the capability of fine manipulation, you should take out whatever is in this box.”

She looked annoyed. Did he say something wrong? But she reached inside the box and pulled out an odd looking contraption, staring into his eyes the entire time.

“SURELY NOW YOU KNOW THAT THUMBS ARE MORE ADVANCED.”


“Uh, um,” He had to keep stalling. “Put that thing down over here, so you can show, uh, precision and motor control.”

Her eyebrows formed a question mark. “VERY WELL, BUT THIS WILL BE ALL.” She placed the machine upright next to Felus. It was shaped like a spire, covered in knobs and wires and supported on three stubby little legs. It was maybe three meters tall. As soon as Guillemet set it down, he leapt up and scaled it, using dials as footholds and pulling himself up using wires.

“YOU,” said Guillemet, “WHAT—“

Felus placed his final footstep on a large red button.

“ARE YOU—“

The machine began to hum, a low crescendo.

“Goddamn science,” said Felus.
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Messages In This Thread
Re: The $300,000 Fight-A-Thon! [Round One: Storage Park!] - by GBCE - 08-30-2012, 01:59 AM