Re: Grand Battle S3G1! (Round Two: The Great Battlefield)
09-27-2011, 02:32 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Valter.
"Oh, shit," Tor said as the green army approached. That commander was not someone he was interested in dealing with right now "Ester, I don't give a good god damn about your agent. If we don't take off right this instant, we stand a fair chance of being brutally murdered on the spot."
"Your bluffs are tiresome, Tor. All armies are under orders to avoid the trench right now. I doubt even the teal soldiers could make their way in by now."
"I doubt Kerak cares much for orders, Ester. He doesn't really seem like the establishment type."
Ester snapped upright. "Another interloper? How many of you are there?"
"I don't think you need to worry about any of the other interlopers. I think you need to worry about this particular interloper, and it just so happens that this particular interloper has a voracious appetite and a army at his disposal." On that note, where could Kerak possibly have found that many soldiers so quickly?
"...Take the copter up," the transceiver ordered, "and activate stealth. Mission parameters still hold: continue observation of the Agent with orders to retrieve him at first possible opportunity. No unnecessary risks."
Kerak was beginning to think he should have saved that 'war' quote.
Several dozen prisoners lined up on the field outside The Trench's smoking remains, including three... personal friends of Kerak. His arrival had apparently interrupted some kind of riot, catching both sides of the fighting largely unaware. Even after announcing himself, most of the rioters had just continued brawling until being forced apart by Kerak's soldiers. They were grouped by color now, and fortunately no more fights had broken out since the surrender. Still, best to get the formalities out of the way quickly.
"Jessica!" Kerak announced. "Am I to understand that you are to thank for this easy victory?"
Jessica stepped out of the ranks of the green army prisoners (best to take all possible precautions before screening them into the Chartreuse Ranks) and straightened her uniform. "Of course, Sir. Why, without the careful sabotage I carried out, I doubt-"
Her speech was cut short by a burst of laughter from Kerak. "Ahahahaha! Your dishonesty is refreshing. I smell with perfect clarity the alcohol and excess on your breath, and still you spin your self-aggrandizing tales without the slightest hesitation. Get in formation, Jessica. We can discuss promotions later."
Kerak turned his attention to the VIP guests. "Do I have you three to thank for the current state of disrepair of your establishment? You certainly made my job easy!"
"I wouldn't blow up my own hideout," Saint scoffed. "Er, not unless it were absolutely necessary. And I'll have you know Tinten and I are allied now!"
"Truce," Tinten corrected. "No reason found to oppose perhaps your first non-destructive goal. More than enough reason to oppose-"
"Right, so the point is someone else blew it all up," Scofflaw interrupted. "Do you remember Tor?"
"Tor?" Kerak repeated. "But he's such a..."
"Pushover, yes, but it turns out he doesn't mix well with alcohol. Judging by the look on your face, you didn't catch him on your way in."
Kerak began pacing back and forth in front of Scofflaw. "Oh, I would have dearly loved to chat with him, too." He paused. "Were there any others?"
"Certainly not!" Scofflaw said emphatically. A single teal soldier among the prisoners blinked in confusion. "The reds attempted a coup while I was preoccupied with the fires. Nothing I couldn't handle under other circumstances, mind you. Upstart rebels are the first obstacle tackled in Machiavelli's The Supervillain. I, ah, didn't count on a rival army encroaching on my territory this soon, though."
Kerak was taken aback. "Rival? Scofflaw, you've got me all wrong! The Battlefield needs more free thinkers like us. I don't consider you an enemy."
"Then what were you here for?" Huebert asked. "A friendly chat? Tea and biscuits with your favorite villain?"
Kerak's face darkened. "Of course not. I knew only that there was science here, and assumed it to be of Tengeri's design. But it appears that I found the wrong scientist! How disappointing."
"'m afraid you're off by half a battlefield, then," Scofflaw said, regaining some small amount of stride. "Tengeri recently ascended to the posthumous Red General's position."
"That was Tengeri? But she's so..."
"Pacifistic?" Scofflaw shrugged. "I don't have any hard details. Must have been quite the feat, though! Didn't know she had it in her."
"Bah! I grow tired of marching," Kerak said grumpily. "And I'm not leaving here empty handed. The plaids are yours, yes, Scofflaw? Pick your five best. I will take the rest."
"Lessee... I'm thinking Mook #3, Goons #4-6, and Lunkhead #12. Ah," Scofflaw added, "You just want to talk to Tengeri, right? If your true intentions are of peace, you should probably leave the Teals unconverted. And the Reds, just to be safe?"
"...A good idea," Kerak said hesitantly. Something about Scofflaw's expression was throwing Kerak off, but he couldn't quite put a talon on it. "Would any of you three like to join me, perhaps?"
"We still have a bit of business to take care of. Don't worry, Kerak," Scofflaw said with a disarming smile. "we'll catch up if we need anything."
"Ah yes, your science," Kerak said. "You had best keep that contraption close to the chest, Scofflaw. And bring it with you to our next destination, will you? I can always appreciate something to equalize the playing field.
"Officers! Send the order! We will escort the prisoners until the suppression field lifts. Expendables will then be converted and integrated into the army. Move out!" Green soldiers began bustling into formation, and Chartreuse Army finally made its departure.
Tinten exploded in rage as soon as the last stragglers were comfortably out of earshot. "Humiliated! Back to square one. Square zero!"
Scofflaw just smiled. "We're in much better shape than we were before Kerak's arrival, Tinten."
"Hard to see how you could possibly say that, Tyrant," Huebert said glumly. "Should have gotten Jessica's phone number..."
"Focus, Huebert. We've still got our nullifier, we've still got Tinten's notes, and I just pawned all our troubles off onto Kerak. Working a public operation had its risks to begin with, and we got everything we could out of it. Now's the time to focus up, carve a discreet little base into the countryside, settle down with a few textbooks, and really get down to the brass tacks of this operation.
"If we put our minds to it, we can put an end to this war before sundown. And without firing a single bullet! How about it, Tinten? Are you still in?"
"Oh, shit," Tor said as the green army approached. That commander was not someone he was interested in dealing with right now "Ester, I don't give a good god damn about your agent. If we don't take off right this instant, we stand a fair chance of being brutally murdered on the spot."
"Your bluffs are tiresome, Tor. All armies are under orders to avoid the trench right now. I doubt even the teal soldiers could make their way in by now."
"I doubt Kerak cares much for orders, Ester. He doesn't really seem like the establishment type."
Ester snapped upright. "Another interloper? How many of you are there?"
"I don't think you need to worry about any of the other interlopers. I think you need to worry about this particular interloper, and it just so happens that this particular interloper has a voracious appetite and a army at his disposal." On that note, where could Kerak possibly have found that many soldiers so quickly?
"...Take the copter up," the transceiver ordered, "and activate stealth. Mission parameters still hold: continue observation of the Agent with orders to retrieve him at first possible opportunity. No unnecessary risks."
Kerak was beginning to think he should have saved that 'war' quote.
Several dozen prisoners lined up on the field outside The Trench's smoking remains, including three... personal friends of Kerak. His arrival had apparently interrupted some kind of riot, catching both sides of the fighting largely unaware. Even after announcing himself, most of the rioters had just continued brawling until being forced apart by Kerak's soldiers. They were grouped by color now, and fortunately no more fights had broken out since the surrender. Still, best to get the formalities out of the way quickly.
"Jessica!" Kerak announced. "Am I to understand that you are to thank for this easy victory?"
Jessica stepped out of the ranks of the green army prisoners (best to take all possible precautions before screening them into the Chartreuse Ranks) and straightened her uniform. "Of course, Sir. Why, without the careful sabotage I carried out, I doubt-"
Her speech was cut short by a burst of laughter from Kerak. "Ahahahaha! Your dishonesty is refreshing. I smell with perfect clarity the alcohol and excess on your breath, and still you spin your self-aggrandizing tales without the slightest hesitation. Get in formation, Jessica. We can discuss promotions later."
Kerak turned his attention to the VIP guests. "Do I have you three to thank for the current state of disrepair of your establishment? You certainly made my job easy!"
"I wouldn't blow up my own hideout," Saint scoffed. "Er, not unless it were absolutely necessary. And I'll have you know Tinten and I are allied now!"
"Truce," Tinten corrected. "No reason found to oppose perhaps your first non-destructive goal. More than enough reason to oppose-"
"Right, so the point is someone else blew it all up," Scofflaw interrupted. "Do you remember Tor?"
"Tor?" Kerak repeated. "But he's such a..."
"Pushover, yes, but it turns out he doesn't mix well with alcohol. Judging by the look on your face, you didn't catch him on your way in."
Kerak began pacing back and forth in front of Scofflaw. "Oh, I would have dearly loved to chat with him, too." He paused. "Were there any others?"
"Certainly not!" Scofflaw said emphatically. A single teal soldier among the prisoners blinked in confusion. "The reds attempted a coup while I was preoccupied with the fires. Nothing I couldn't handle under other circumstances, mind you. Upstart rebels are the first obstacle tackled in Machiavelli's The Supervillain. I, ah, didn't count on a rival army encroaching on my territory this soon, though."
Kerak was taken aback. "Rival? Scofflaw, you've got me all wrong! The Battlefield needs more free thinkers like us. I don't consider you an enemy."
"Then what were you here for?" Huebert asked. "A friendly chat? Tea and biscuits with your favorite villain?"
Kerak's face darkened. "Of course not. I knew only that there was science here, and assumed it to be of Tengeri's design. But it appears that I found the wrong scientist! How disappointing."
"'m afraid you're off by half a battlefield, then," Scofflaw said, regaining some small amount of stride. "Tengeri recently ascended to the posthumous Red General's position."
"That was Tengeri? But she's so..."
"Pacifistic?" Scofflaw shrugged. "I don't have any hard details. Must have been quite the feat, though! Didn't know she had it in her."
"Bah! I grow tired of marching," Kerak said grumpily. "And I'm not leaving here empty handed. The plaids are yours, yes, Scofflaw? Pick your five best. I will take the rest."
"Lessee... I'm thinking Mook #3, Goons #4-6, and Lunkhead #12. Ah," Scofflaw added, "You just want to talk to Tengeri, right? If your true intentions are of peace, you should probably leave the Teals unconverted. And the Reds, just to be safe?"
"...A good idea," Kerak said hesitantly. Something about Scofflaw's expression was throwing Kerak off, but he couldn't quite put a talon on it. "Would any of you three like to join me, perhaps?"
"We still have a bit of business to take care of. Don't worry, Kerak," Scofflaw said with a disarming smile. "we'll catch up if we need anything."
"Ah yes, your science," Kerak said. "You had best keep that contraption close to the chest, Scofflaw. And bring it with you to our next destination, will you? I can always appreciate something to equalize the playing field.
"Officers! Send the order! We will escort the prisoners until the suppression field lifts. Expendables will then be converted and integrated into the army. Move out!" Green soldiers began bustling into formation, and Chartreuse Army finally made its departure.
Tinten exploded in rage as soon as the last stragglers were comfortably out of earshot. "Humiliated! Back to square one. Square zero!"
Scofflaw just smiled. "We're in much better shape than we were before Kerak's arrival, Tinten."
"Hard to see how you could possibly say that, Tyrant," Huebert said glumly. "Should have gotten Jessica's phone number..."
"Focus, Huebert. We've still got our nullifier, we've still got Tinten's notes, and I just pawned all our troubles off onto Kerak. Working a public operation had its risks to begin with, and we got everything we could out of it. Now's the time to focus up, carve a discreet little base into the countryside, settle down with a few textbooks, and really get down to the brass tacks of this operation.
"If we put our minds to it, we can put an end to this war before sundown. And without firing a single bullet! How about it, Tinten? Are you still in?"