Re: Grand Battle S3G1! (Round One: Vio Maleficat)
05-07-2011, 04:04 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Valter.
"Jenkin's Enraged Theropod Disposal Services, how may I help you?"
"Uh, yes, there's an enraged Theropod loose in my facility that needs to be disposed of. Can you help?"
"Well, it looks like you've got the right place, at least. Let's see, you're from Unity Plant Keter, right? Shouldn't be too... woah. Woah. Hold on."
"'Woah'? What's the problem?"
"Sir, are you aware that your plant's generators are completely offline?"
Emby puffed up with indignity. "I'm working on it, okay? Some kind of code red anomaly happened a few hours ago, and some hooligans start wrecking the place, and suddenly the foreman is dead and the generator is dead? I'd love to get started on repairs, but I'm gonna need some help, first."
"Listen, buddy, dinosaurs are the least of your trouble right now. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't have considered wading into full chaos even if your supervisor were still alive. You're on your-
-click-
"...Excuse me? Hello?"
"Miles Zember Embyweather."
"What? Who is this?"
"I speak on behalf of the Chief of Security. I hijacked this phone line on account of the class 6 outbreak currently underway in your facility."
Emby's face turned bright pink. "I can assure you that none of this was the fault of me or any of my coworkers, and I have the tapes to-"
"Quiet. If you're reprimanded for anything, it'll be the decay you allowed into Keter Plant in the months prior to this incident. For now, we have more important things to discuss.
"I'm not going to mince words with you, Miles; there is a absolutely astonishing amount of Chaos converging on Keter right now, and you're smack in the middle of it. We thought we were going to have to send in a platoon to secure the area... until we caught your call's signal. We weren't aware that there was anybody left alive there, but you present the perfect opportunity for us, Embyweather. You're going to do our job for us."
"What on earth do you think I can do about this," Emby shouted, gesturing needlessly at the monitors in front of him, "that you would need a platoon of soldiers for otherwise?"
"You can enter a code. We have a failsafe for class 5 chaotic breakouts and above, but it needs to be activated from the inside of the facility. There is a terminal near your position, yes? Please enter 'Override B-29' into the console."
"Uh? ...okay, it apparently wants a password. When was this implemented? I never heard anything about any overrides."
"That means our secret service agents did their job right. Password is 'omega'. Is it entered?"
"Looks like it was accepted. What exactly does this-"
"Good work. God rest your soul." -click-
huh, Emby thought as he put down the receiver. that was a bit of an odd farewe-
Then the alarms started.
~~~
"WARNING. THIS FACILITY WILL SOON BE UNDERGOING INTENSE CHAOTIC DISPERSAL. IF YOU ARE HUMAN OR IN ANY OTHER WAY NATURALLY BELONG TO THIS WORLD AND POSSESS HIGHER COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS, PLEASE PROCEED TO THE BUNKERS AT SECTOR A3 AND REMAIN UNTIL THE CLOUD OF UNITY, GAMMA RADIATION, AND DEADLY POISON WE WILL SOON BE SPREADING THROUGHOUT THE FACILITY HAS DISPERSED, SUCH THAT YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN CAPABLE OF BREATHING THE AIR HERE WITHOUT YOUR LUNGS MELTING INTO A DELICATE PASTE. A SENSOR IN YOUR BUNKER WILL KEEP TRACK OF OUTSIDE DANGER.
"MANIFESTATIONS OF CHAOS, YOU MAY CONTINUE TO WANDER AROUND AIMLESSLY OR WHATEVER YOU DO FOR FUN, FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLY, PATHETICALLY SHORT LIFE SPANS. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.
"TIME REMAINING TO INTENSE CHAOTIC DISPERSAL GAS DISPERSION: FIVE MINUTES."
"Imperialist swine!" Kerak shouted, waving his fist at the impudent speaker hanging from the ceiling.
"Your commitment to the revolution is admirable, Kerak, but I'm afraid the voices from On High have a bit of a point this time," Scofflaw said.
"Hmmph. We have five minutes. I'm sure we can break whoever is trying to poison us that quickly."
Scofflaw shook his head. "I imagine this 'whoever' is already dead. You killed him not ten minutes ago."
"Jorgansaard?" Kerak scoffed. "I have found the dead to be rather shy on words, Scofflaw, let alone actions."
"He didn't do this now. No, it was a trap, set to eradicate whoever eventually brought about his demise. It's what I would do in his shoes, at least. Actually, gamma radiation and deadly poison doesn't sound half bad..."
"TIME REMAINING TO THE ERADICATION OF CHAOS AND ANYBODY STUPID ENOUGH TO STAND IN THE WAY OF ERADICATION OF CHAOS: FOUR MINUTES."
"I suppose I'd rather not be eradicated..." Kerak said hesitantly. He had hoped for at least one more goring before the day was out.
"Then follow me. I doubt the bunkers will present any traceable scent for your nose, and I happened upon a map during my travels here that should service us nicely." It was more that he had 'happened upon' a small army of sonar nanobot that could construct a functional 3D image of everything within a cubic mile of him in a matter of seconds, but that information was strictly 'need to know'.
"At any rate, we had best be on our way. I have extensive familiarity with turning people's lungs into paste, and I can assure you that it is not an even remotely pleasant experience."
"Jenkin's Enraged Theropod Disposal Services, how may I help you?"
"Uh, yes, there's an enraged Theropod loose in my facility that needs to be disposed of. Can you help?"
"Well, it looks like you've got the right place, at least. Let's see, you're from Unity Plant Keter, right? Shouldn't be too... woah. Woah. Hold on."
"'Woah'? What's the problem?"
"Sir, are you aware that your plant's generators are completely offline?"
Emby puffed up with indignity. "I'm working on it, okay? Some kind of code red anomaly happened a few hours ago, and some hooligans start wrecking the place, and suddenly the foreman is dead and the generator is dead? I'd love to get started on repairs, but I'm gonna need some help, first."
"Listen, buddy, dinosaurs are the least of your trouble right now. If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't have considered wading into full chaos even if your supervisor were still alive. You're on your-
-click-
"...Excuse me? Hello?"
"Miles Zember Embyweather."
"What? Who is this?"
"I speak on behalf of the Chief of Security. I hijacked this phone line on account of the class 6 outbreak currently underway in your facility."
Emby's face turned bright pink. "I can assure you that none of this was the fault of me or any of my coworkers, and I have the tapes to-"
"Quiet. If you're reprimanded for anything, it'll be the decay you allowed into Keter Plant in the months prior to this incident. For now, we have more important things to discuss.
"I'm not going to mince words with you, Miles; there is a absolutely astonishing amount of Chaos converging on Keter right now, and you're smack in the middle of it. We thought we were going to have to send in a platoon to secure the area... until we caught your call's signal. We weren't aware that there was anybody left alive there, but you present the perfect opportunity for us, Embyweather. You're going to do our job for us."
"What on earth do you think I can do about this," Emby shouted, gesturing needlessly at the monitors in front of him, "that you would need a platoon of soldiers for otherwise?"
"You can enter a code. We have a failsafe for class 5 chaotic breakouts and above, but it needs to be activated from the inside of the facility. There is a terminal near your position, yes? Please enter 'Override B-29' into the console."
"Uh? ...okay, it apparently wants a password. When was this implemented? I never heard anything about any overrides."
"That means our secret service agents did their job right. Password is 'omega'. Is it entered?"
"Looks like it was accepted. What exactly does this-"
"Good work. God rest your soul." -click-
huh, Emby thought as he put down the receiver. that was a bit of an odd farewe-
Then the alarms started.
~~~
"WARNING. THIS FACILITY WILL SOON BE UNDERGOING INTENSE CHAOTIC DISPERSAL. IF YOU ARE HUMAN OR IN ANY OTHER WAY NATURALLY BELONG TO THIS WORLD AND POSSESS HIGHER COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS, PLEASE PROCEED TO THE BUNKERS AT SECTOR A3 AND REMAIN UNTIL THE CLOUD OF UNITY, GAMMA RADIATION, AND DEADLY POISON WE WILL SOON BE SPREADING THROUGHOUT THE FACILITY HAS DISPERSED, SUCH THAT YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN CAPABLE OF BREATHING THE AIR HERE WITHOUT YOUR LUNGS MELTING INTO A DELICATE PASTE. A SENSOR IN YOUR BUNKER WILL KEEP TRACK OF OUTSIDE DANGER.
"MANIFESTATIONS OF CHAOS, YOU MAY CONTINUE TO WANDER AROUND AIMLESSLY OR WHATEVER YOU DO FOR FUN, FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLY, PATHETICALLY SHORT LIFE SPANS. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.
"TIME REMAINING TO INTENSE CHAOTIC DISPERSAL GAS DISPERSION: FIVE MINUTES."
"Imperialist swine!" Kerak shouted, waving his fist at the impudent speaker hanging from the ceiling.
"Your commitment to the revolution is admirable, Kerak, but I'm afraid the voices from On High have a bit of a point this time," Scofflaw said.
"Hmmph. We have five minutes. I'm sure we can break whoever is trying to poison us that quickly."
Scofflaw shook his head. "I imagine this 'whoever' is already dead. You killed him not ten minutes ago."
"Jorgansaard?" Kerak scoffed. "I have found the dead to be rather shy on words, Scofflaw, let alone actions."
"He didn't do this now. No, it was a trap, set to eradicate whoever eventually brought about his demise. It's what I would do in his shoes, at least. Actually, gamma radiation and deadly poison doesn't sound half bad..."
"TIME REMAINING TO THE ERADICATION OF CHAOS AND ANYBODY STUPID ENOUGH TO STAND IN THE WAY OF ERADICATION OF CHAOS: FOUR MINUTES."
"I suppose I'd rather not be eradicated..." Kerak said hesitantly. He had hoped for at least one more goring before the day was out.
"Then follow me. I doubt the bunkers will present any traceable scent for your nose, and I happened upon a map during my travels here that should service us nicely." It was more that he had 'happened upon' a small army of sonar nanobot that could construct a functional 3D image of everything within a cubic mile of him in a matter of seconds, but that information was strictly 'need to know'.
"At any rate, we had best be on our way. I have extensive familiarity with turning people's lungs into paste, and I can assure you that it is not an even remotely pleasant experience."