The Grand Battle [Game Over!]

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

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Username: g0m
Name: James
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Colour: This one.
Weapon: No weapon!
Abilities: Bipedal movement, opposable thumbs, basic motor control
Description: Shit, I dunno. Big, I guess. Sorta... tall. And has glasses.
Biography: James was just a normal guy. He had hair, limbs and skin. He enjoyed certain activities and found others uninteresting. He had a number of family members and friends. But then, one day... he entered this contest for some reason.

Note: None of your characters were simply asked to join, and nobody has any prior knowledge of this. They were plucked from their worlds with no warning whatsoever.

Not that your entry was likely very serious anyway.