Re: Mini-Grand 5107 [Round 1: Macbeth]
08-03-2011, 08:56 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by BlastYoBoots.
METAL retracted his wings and considered the apprehended miscreant. His behavior seemed consistent with that of a low-risk fugitive, complete with the erratic, illogical idiosyncrasies associated with the typical human. There was a risk that he was a highly intelligent supervillain attempting to blend in – memories of constant failures to apprehend an evil young prodigy rushed through his processors – especially given his selection for a competition like this; METAL found it questionable that powered heroes would be placed in a battle with those who were unquestionably fragile.
This called for an interrogation.
"EXPLA1N Y0UR ACT10NS F1RST, CAPT1VE. F0R WHAT PURP0SE ARE Y0U HARM1NG RAND0M C1V1L1ANS?"
"Uhm... yeah, those weren't witch minions, were they? Or wizard minions. Magic minions? Yah, what do ya call 'em, anyways? Ne'r could figure out a good term–"
"<J0SEPH BANKS>, Y0U 1NTENT10NALLY L00SED FALL1NG BAGS 0F PART1CULATE MATTER 0NT0 THE STAGE 0F TH1S ENTERTA1NMENT VENUE."
"Stage? Is that what I... hey wait a min'! If this's supposed ta be some sorta pretend performance, why are you here? 'Sides, this sure as 'ell ain't a future crime, an' that future vendin' machine 'as cracked open long 'fore I got there, I swear!"
"...WHY D0 Y0U PR0FESS 1GN0RANCE AS T0 0UR CURRENT S1TUAT10N?"
"Whaddya mean our situation? I was 'avin a nap an' then you star' tearin' the place apart!"
That explains it. This clearly insane and/or intoxicated human was in sleep mode during the battle's introduction sequence! METAL's visual logs recalled the man reclining on his couch, eyes closed; his exceedingly awkward posture had prompted METAL to deem him awake with 92% likelihood, before.
METAL touched Joseph's shackles; the 0.4% of his mass he had used to bind the man promptly oozed off and returned to his main body. "ALL0W TH1S UN1T T0 REC0UNT THE EVENTS 0F 0UR APPREHENS10N, UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>:"
"...GRAM TERM-ination... DAMN! Oh motherboard! You're here. Listen..."
METAL proceeded to replicate the audio that had resonated through his body earlier, while displaying a replica of his greyscale video logs of the event contrast-etched into his lower torso.
"...Wait, so if I don't kill ya, or a superhero or a lil' mute girl, I'm gonna die?!"
"Y0U SHALL N0T SPEAK 0F MURDER1NG THE DEFENSELESS," METAL boomed angrily.
"Whoa whoa, 'course, mister justice-bot! Tha's what I meant. Jus'... what're we supposed ta do?"
METAL had been thinking about this extensively. One pattern stuck out in his processors, though... namely, the situational resemblance he'd considered earlier, and this individual's references to the 'future'.
"UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>, H0W ACQUA1NTED ARE Y0U W1TH SUPER-SC1ENCE?"
"Super-wha?"
"TECHN0L0G1CAL W1ZARDRY. PRESENT AND FUTURE ELECTR0N1C ADVANCEMENTS. S0PH1ST1CATED GADGETS AND GADGETEER1NG."
"Well, erm... I keep around the 'ccasional gadget er two from various odd places, though 'dmittedly they don't work so well–"
As he'd thought, a super-scientist! "EXCELLENT, UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>! 1 SHALL C0LLAB0RATE W1TH 0UR FELL0W C0NTESTANTS T0 H1NDER THE PERF0RMANCE'S PR0GRESS; Y0U SHALL ATTEMPT T0 D1SMANTLE THE LETHAL SM0KE MACH1NES."
"You want me to WHAT?!"
METAL clomped off before Joseph could object.
METAL retracted his wings and considered the apprehended miscreant. His behavior seemed consistent with that of a low-risk fugitive, complete with the erratic, illogical idiosyncrasies associated with the typical human. There was a risk that he was a highly intelligent supervillain attempting to blend in – memories of constant failures to apprehend an evil young prodigy rushed through his processors – especially given his selection for a competition like this; METAL found it questionable that powered heroes would be placed in a battle with those who were unquestionably fragile.
This called for an interrogation.
"EXPLA1N Y0UR ACT10NS F1RST, CAPT1VE. F0R WHAT PURP0SE ARE Y0U HARM1NG RAND0M C1V1L1ANS?"
"Uhm... yeah, those weren't witch minions, were they? Or wizard minions. Magic minions? Yah, what do ya call 'em, anyways? Ne'r could figure out a good term–"
"<J0SEPH BANKS>, Y0U 1NTENT10NALLY L00SED FALL1NG BAGS 0F PART1CULATE MATTER 0NT0 THE STAGE 0F TH1S ENTERTA1NMENT VENUE."
"Stage? Is that what I... hey wait a min'! If this's supposed ta be some sorta pretend performance, why are you here? 'Sides, this sure as 'ell ain't a future crime, an' that future vendin' machine 'as cracked open long 'fore I got there, I swear!"
"...WHY D0 Y0U PR0FESS 1GN0RANCE AS T0 0UR CURRENT S1TUAT10N?"
"Whaddya mean our situation? I was 'avin a nap an' then you star' tearin' the place apart!"
That explains it. This clearly insane and/or intoxicated human was in sleep mode during the battle's introduction sequence! METAL's visual logs recalled the man reclining on his couch, eyes closed; his exceedingly awkward posture had prompted METAL to deem him awake with 92% likelihood, before.
METAL touched Joseph's shackles; the 0.4% of his mass he had used to bind the man promptly oozed off and returned to his main body. "ALL0W TH1S UN1T T0 REC0UNT THE EVENTS 0F 0UR APPREHENS10N, UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>:"
"...GRAM TERM-ination... DAMN! Oh motherboard! You're here. Listen..."
METAL proceeded to replicate the audio that had resonated through his body earlier, while displaying a replica of his greyscale video logs of the event contrast-etched into his lower torso.
"...Wait, so if I don't kill ya, or a superhero or a lil' mute girl, I'm gonna die?!"
"Y0U SHALL N0T SPEAK 0F MURDER1NG THE DEFENSELESS," METAL boomed angrily.
"Whoa whoa, 'course, mister justice-bot! Tha's what I meant. Jus'... what're we supposed ta do?"
METAL had been thinking about this extensively. One pattern stuck out in his processors, though... namely, the situational resemblance he'd considered earlier, and this individual's references to the 'future'.
"UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>, H0W ACQUA1NTED ARE Y0U W1TH SUPER-SC1ENCE?"
"Super-wha?"
"TECHN0L0G1CAL W1ZARDRY. PRESENT AND FUTURE ELECTR0N1C ADVANCEMENTS. S0PH1ST1CATED GADGETS AND GADGETEER1NG."
"Well, erm... I keep around the 'ccasional gadget er two from various odd places, though 'dmittedly they don't work so well–"
As he'd thought, a super-scientist! "EXCELLENT, UN1T <J0SEPH BANKS>! 1 SHALL C0LLAB0RATE W1TH 0UR FELL0W C0NTESTANTS T0 H1NDER THE PERF0RMANCE'S PR0GRESS; Y0U SHALL ATTEMPT T0 D1SMANTLE THE LETHAL SM0KE MACH1NES."
"You want me to WHAT?!"
METAL clomped off before Joseph could object.