Potched Kumquat [Victory!]

Potched Kumquat [Victory!]
#62
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 1: Forêt Noire]
Originally posted on MSPA by Red Herring.

Vasily Rurikovich rose to his feet, gritting his teeth together as he allowed his eyes to settle upon the various contenders who stood so graciously before him. They didn't seem to be a bad bunch of fellows, although he imagined that they might benefit thoroughly from the loss of a few pounds. He'd solve that problem easily by cutting off their moneybags, of course. If they even had moneybags. Come to think of it, what was the point of money now? You certainly couldn't use it to buy anything nice, and you couldn't use it to woo that hot chick in the pub - nor could you use it to win the governor's daughter's love*.

This was a startling turn of events for Vasily. But the pirate was nothing if not crafty, and perhaps he'd be able to take this clay and mold it into bricks. Perhaps, he'd be able to manipulate things such that everyone was able to get out of this sick "contest" alive. Then again, perhaps not. Chance and Fate each would be jockeying for control, and when those two Uncomfortable Bedfellows begin that tug of war with the yarn of Life, there are bound to be a few loose ends that come undone.

In a much more literal sense, the man slowly slicked back his hair, patting it, as if he were unsure as to whether his hat might've made a reappearance - you could never be sure in situations like this as to the behavior of inanimate objects. Look at that weird manikin thing. Theoretically, it was inanimate. But in actuality, it just devoured (perhaps inhaled, in these circumstances, might be a better word) a tree.

Yeah, Vasily didn't get it either.

In fact, of all the things that Vasily did get, there was but one that happened to be nearby: a fine dame by the name of Annabell, who the raunchy pirate was so damn ready to tap oh MAN don't even get him started. He would, perhaps, attempt to romance her at a later date, something that he placed immediately into his list of goals, somewhere between "Remain alive" and "Use restroom".

"Friends, countrymen, lend me yer ears," the pirate began, taking a few steps towards the group and making an attempt at bringing them all together. His voice rang and echoed through the forest like that of the great general Caesar himself, although with much more of a pirate's accent. "If we're goin' tae survive this forest, I reckon tha' we'll need tae stick together, 'en not leap at each other's throats, ye understand? Considerin' how tha' stupid Overseer or Organizer or Orgazmo or whatever th' bloody thing is called WANTS us to fight each other, I'm willin' tae bet tha' is the LAST thing we should do, do ye follow me? Aye, alright, 'en. I say we move as a group intae th' forest 'en try tae find a way out. Who's with me, eh, ye scurvy dogs?"

*The song "Can't Buy Me Love" is an incredibly far-fetched fairy-tale.

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Messages In This Thread
Potched Kumquat [Victory!] - by SleepingOrange - 12-26-2009, 11:17 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [8 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-26-2009, 02:20 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [8 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-26-2009, 02:22 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [8 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-26-2009, 03:14 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [8 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-26-2009, 03:27 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [8 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-26-2009, 03:43 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [4 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 02:39 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 05:21 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 01:35 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 02:34 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 02:38 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 02:40 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 02:45 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [2 Remaining Spots] - by GBCE - 12-27-2009, 03:14 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 1: Forêt Noire] - by GBCE - 12-28-2009, 08:15 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-11-2010, 04:54 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-11-2010, 11:57 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-13-2010, 05:49 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-15-2010, 12:29 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-15-2010, 01:02 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 02-21-2010, 12:52 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 03-08-2010, 04:04 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 03-16-2010, 09:47 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 03-16-2010, 10:39 PM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 03-29-2010, 12:09 AM
Re: Pitched Combat [Round 3: Overtime] - by GBCE - 04-01-2010, 06:27 PM
Re: Potched Kumquat [Victory!] - by MalkyTop - 01-11-2011, 08:51 PM