Re: Intense Struggle Season 2!
07-13-2010, 10:18 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by Lord Paradise.
I've probably missed the boat on this, but I'll type the guy up anyways, seeing as how I'll be needing it for the next battle.
Name: WreckLess
Gender: Male
Font color: #0000FF (upper right)
Race: Human mostly
Weapon: Nah man the dude pretty much just makes do
Abilities: Dude's pretty athletic and has flashes of genuine cleverness now and then, also, flashes of extreme stupidity.
Description: WreckLess is about 6'2" and looks like he has some African and some Asian ancestry. Also: blue eyes. Not like Dune-blue, just pretty blue eyes. WreckLess is also pretty much ripped. He is like a straight-up sexual being with his muscles and body and he could do like thirty Olympics, sexually. He wears grey or blue spandex jumpsuits, and they tear sometimes. As for his personality, that's addressed below, okay.
Biography: Education's pretty improved in the distant, future, you know? Not, like, everyone's smart enough not to watch reality TV, but everyone's too smart to be in reality TV. So rather than doing what we do in the present and just script everything out, the studios tend to just go ahead and fix reality until reality reflects what people want to watch.
Enter this guy, here. What's his name or occupation? Who cares? The studios don't care and the ratings don't care. He cares, a little, but that comes before, or later. At this point he has been fixed so he doesn't remember much. His brain has been rewired so it's basically a backup set of testicles and an alcohol recepticle. There is no room for a "name" in this, id incarnate, the perfection of the reality TV ideal. There is, however, room for a cutesy nickname, which in the early 21st century the studios realized was much better than a name, especially if it reminded the viewers of body parts. And so was born "Erect," Contestant #2 on YKYWITV's "the Monogamist," which is not too different in premise or execution from many shows that exist today.
With his Godlike physique and completely sensationalistic supersonality, Erect won the Monogamist in half the required number of episodes and then accidentally chopped off one of her breasts in a gladiatorial combat incident during the honeymoon. The breast was replaced immediately but Erect claimed that the new one "didn't smell right" and a messy, highly publicized divorce soon followed. (The Monogamist soon defied her namesake and married all the other surviving contestants, plus her priest, and to my knowledge they're still happily married to this day.)
Erect's spinoff show, "You Can Be D'Erect With Me," and its increasingly bisexual second third and fourth seasons were ratings phenomena, but when the viewership started to find other perfect bodies to admire, or worse, primetime dramas, suddenly Erect developed a drug problem, changed his name to E:Wrecked, and went into Nudist Rehab. "E:Wrecked: Nudist Rehab" was, needless to say, a massive success, and the implant of the new, remorseful supersonality seemed completely fluid and naturalistic in context. However, all good things come to an end, except for E:Wrecked's perfect body which can be prolonged indefinitely through medication. Eventually the studios were forced to admit that it would be dumb and nonsensical for their character to relapse again, so E:Wrecked was sold to the XS Channel and became WreckLess, thrill seeker and travel enthusiast.
The WreckLess supersonality was made to be much cleverer than his predecessors, having all the skills necessary to inform and entertain viewers on his journey to the 648 most extreme places in the galaxy. Ratings were modest, until the studios realized that WreckLess was starting to learn things on his own, and was hatching a plan to escape media attention and end his hellishly sexy life as a minor celebrity once and for all. WreckLess's constant attempts to avoid the camera through Extreme violence and Extreme deception in Extreme places (in space!) gave the reality TV executives a viable competitor against their primetime drama nemeses, and ratings, once more, soared.
When WreckLess spontaneously vanished on camera in the middle of an episode, viewers just assumed that he had finally won, or that the studios had finally gotten fed up with him and vaporized him. However, the execs knew better. They sensed the intervention of something much more powerful than they, and the television potential pretty much gave them all the boners. Grand Battle or no, this dimension or that, there are always cameras. And someone's always watching. Otherwise what's the point?
EDIT BECAUSE PAGE TOPPING IS IMPORTANT: Turns out awesome sexy times is not what Fogel "is going for." "At all." So you know I'll see y'all elsewhere.
I've probably missed the boat on this, but I'll type the guy up anyways, seeing as how I'll be needing it for the next battle.
Name: WreckLess
Gender: Male
Font color: #0000FF (upper right)
Race: Human mostly
Weapon: Nah man the dude pretty much just makes do
Abilities: Dude's pretty athletic and has flashes of genuine cleverness now and then, also, flashes of extreme stupidity.
Description: WreckLess is about 6'2" and looks like he has some African and some Asian ancestry. Also: blue eyes. Not like Dune-blue, just pretty blue eyes. WreckLess is also pretty much ripped. He is like a straight-up sexual being with his muscles and body and he could do like thirty Olympics, sexually. He wears grey or blue spandex jumpsuits, and they tear sometimes. As for his personality, that's addressed below, okay.
Biography: Education's pretty improved in the distant, future, you know? Not, like, everyone's smart enough not to watch reality TV, but everyone's too smart to be in reality TV. So rather than doing what we do in the present and just script everything out, the studios tend to just go ahead and fix reality until reality reflects what people want to watch.
Enter this guy, here. What's his name or occupation? Who cares? The studios don't care and the ratings don't care. He cares, a little, but that comes before, or later. At this point he has been fixed so he doesn't remember much. His brain has been rewired so it's basically a backup set of testicles and an alcohol recepticle. There is no room for a "name" in this, id incarnate, the perfection of the reality TV ideal. There is, however, room for a cutesy nickname, which in the early 21st century the studios realized was much better than a name, especially if it reminded the viewers of body parts. And so was born "Erect," Contestant #2 on YKYWITV's "the Monogamist," which is not too different in premise or execution from many shows that exist today.
With his Godlike physique and completely sensationalistic supersonality, Erect won the Monogamist in half the required number of episodes and then accidentally chopped off one of her breasts in a gladiatorial combat incident during the honeymoon. The breast was replaced immediately but Erect claimed that the new one "didn't smell right" and a messy, highly publicized divorce soon followed. (The Monogamist soon defied her namesake and married all the other surviving contestants, plus her priest, and to my knowledge they're still happily married to this day.)
Erect's spinoff show, "You Can Be D'Erect With Me," and its increasingly bisexual second third and fourth seasons were ratings phenomena, but when the viewership started to find other perfect bodies to admire, or worse, primetime dramas, suddenly Erect developed a drug problem, changed his name to E:Wrecked, and went into Nudist Rehab. "E:Wrecked: Nudist Rehab" was, needless to say, a massive success, and the implant of the new, remorseful supersonality seemed completely fluid and naturalistic in context. However, all good things come to an end, except for E:Wrecked's perfect body which can be prolonged indefinitely through medication. Eventually the studios were forced to admit that it would be dumb and nonsensical for their character to relapse again, so E:Wrecked was sold to the XS Channel and became WreckLess, thrill seeker and travel enthusiast.
The WreckLess supersonality was made to be much cleverer than his predecessors, having all the skills necessary to inform and entertain viewers on his journey to the 648 most extreme places in the galaxy. Ratings were modest, until the studios realized that WreckLess was starting to learn things on his own, and was hatching a plan to escape media attention and end his hellishly sexy life as a minor celebrity once and for all. WreckLess's constant attempts to avoid the camera through Extreme violence and Extreme deception in Extreme places (in space!) gave the reality TV executives a viable competitor against their primetime drama nemeses, and ratings, once more, soared.
When WreckLess spontaneously vanished on camera in the middle of an episode, viewers just assumed that he had finally won, or that the studios had finally gotten fed up with him and vaporized him. However, the execs knew better. They sensed the intervention of something much more powerful than they, and the television potential pretty much gave them all the boners. Grand Battle or no, this dimension or that, there are always cameras. And someone's always watching. Otherwise what's the point?
EDIT BECAUSE PAGE TOPPING IS IMPORTANT: Turns out awesome sexy times is not what Fogel "is going for." "At all." So you know I'll see y'all elsewhere.