Re: The Great Belligerency [Round 2: New Shambhala]
03-20-2011, 08:23 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.
Raenforth Street. Raenforth Street. He had absolutely no idea where a “Raenforth Street” was. It would have actually been better if Balance had left him with just a general direction instead of an address. Then at least he would know which direction to go. Actually ,that’d still be pretty damn bad. Still, as things were now, it really wasn’t likely that anybody would stop to give him directions while being slaughtered. And with his appearance, it would have to be directions from aliens, if not from the other contestants.
Speaking of other contestants…
…Ugh. Soft. Of course, it had to be a god. Sort of a god. Then again, they were supposed to be all-knowing. And, at least last time he saw her, she seemed willing to help. In her own way. Sort of.
As he started down towards the roof she was walking on, he thought he saw a second person with her. But once he landed, there was nobody there besides Soft. On top of everything that was happening, he hoped that he wasn’t also going insane.
“Oh looo~k, if it isn’t our herooo~~~”
“Shut up. Do you know where Raenforth Street is?”
“Why, whatever do you need that knowledge for, heee~rooo~~~?”
…God. She was starting to get creepy and annoying at the same time, the former because of the way she kept smiling strangely at him and the latter because he was fairly certain she already knew the reason. “I have an urgent job to do. Just tell me where it is.”
“Why, it ceee~rtainly sounds veee~ry urgent~~~ but alas, hero, I’m muuu~ch too busy for someone like yooouuu~~~ A new prooo~ject, you see, maaa~ybe I’ll get back to you laaa~ter~~~”
Cole might have felt vaguely offended at this had he not a tyrant to kill. Since Soft was ever so frustratingly holding information, he’d have to go find someone who would actually give direct answers.
“Hey!” Soft yelled as he turned to take off again. “You aren’t gonna ask anything about that? Like, ‘What are you talking about’ or anything?!”
“No.”
“I’ve found a different hero, bug boy! He’s so much cooler than you and he doesn’t make unheroic decisions like you do because he’s soooo diligent and incorruptible and AAGGHH HE ALSO DOESN’T FLY AWAY WHEN I’M TALKING TO HIM BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CUT OFF HIS TONGUE YOU STUPID BUG-BRAAAIIIIN.”
It sounded like someone was struggling not to laugh. Soft decided to ignore this for the moment. As Ratfink reappeared, she turned towards him and snarled, “We are gonna go and kill that stupid tyrant first.”
Ratfink, who had started choking heavily as soon as he had heard the words ‘doesn’t make unheroic decisions,’ had to recover before he was able to answer, and even then, he was having trouble keeping a straight face. “Thought we already—“
“No, shut up. I know where he is and you know where he is and I know you know where he is, so we are going to go to Raenforth Street and you’re leading the way and I’ll know if you’re trying to lead me around like a stupid chicken and if you do then I’ll cut off your head. If you try to slow us down, I’ll give you a warning. And then cut off your ratty face. Sooo~ let’s gooo~ alreaaa~dyyy~~~”
Oh dear.
Raenforth Street. Raenforth Street. He had absolutely no idea where a “Raenforth Street” was. It would have actually been better if Balance had left him with just a general direction instead of an address. Then at least he would know which direction to go. Actually ,that’d still be pretty damn bad. Still, as things were now, it really wasn’t likely that anybody would stop to give him directions while being slaughtered. And with his appearance, it would have to be directions from aliens, if not from the other contestants.
Speaking of other contestants…
…Ugh. Soft. Of course, it had to be a god. Sort of a god. Then again, they were supposed to be all-knowing. And, at least last time he saw her, she seemed willing to help. In her own way. Sort of.
As he started down towards the roof she was walking on, he thought he saw a second person with her. But once he landed, there was nobody there besides Soft. On top of everything that was happening, he hoped that he wasn’t also going insane.
“Oh looo~k, if it isn’t our herooo~~~”
“Shut up. Do you know where Raenforth Street is?”
“Why, whatever do you need that knowledge for, heee~rooo~~~?”
…God. She was starting to get creepy and annoying at the same time, the former because of the way she kept smiling strangely at him and the latter because he was fairly certain she already knew the reason. “I have an urgent job to do. Just tell me where it is.”
“Why, it ceee~rtainly sounds veee~ry urgent~~~ but alas, hero, I’m muuu~ch too busy for someone like yooouuu~~~ A new prooo~ject, you see, maaa~ybe I’ll get back to you laaa~ter~~~”
Cole might have felt vaguely offended at this had he not a tyrant to kill. Since Soft was ever so frustratingly holding information, he’d have to go find someone who would actually give direct answers.
“Hey!” Soft yelled as he turned to take off again. “You aren’t gonna ask anything about that? Like, ‘What are you talking about’ or anything?!”
“No.”
“I’ve found a different hero, bug boy! He’s so much cooler than you and he doesn’t make unheroic decisions like you do because he’s soooo diligent and incorruptible and AAGGHH HE ALSO DOESN’T FLY AWAY WHEN I’M TALKING TO HIM BECAUSE THAT MEANS I CUT OFF HIS TONGUE YOU STUPID BUG-BRAAAIIIIN.”
It sounded like someone was struggling not to laugh. Soft decided to ignore this for the moment. As Ratfink reappeared, she turned towards him and snarled, “We are gonna go and kill that stupid tyrant first.”
Ratfink, who had started choking heavily as soon as he had heard the words ‘doesn’t make unheroic decisions,’ had to recover before he was able to answer, and even then, he was having trouble keeping a straight face. “Thought we already—“
“No, shut up. I know where he is and you know where he is and I know you know where he is, so we are going to go to Raenforth Street and you’re leading the way and I’ll know if you’re trying to lead me around like a stupid chicken and if you do then I’ll cut off your head. If you try to slow us down, I’ll give you a warning. And then cut off your ratty face. Sooo~ let’s gooo~ alreaaa~dyyy~~~”
Oh dear.