Re: The Great Belligerency [Round 2: New Shambhala]
02-06-2011, 04:51 AM
Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.
There was a long silence. Did the snooper think that she didn’t know he was there?
Tapping her fingers on the ground and sighing loudly to let everybody around (her and the mysterious stranger) just how inconvenient this was for her, Soft shouted out again. “Didja hear me? Get this rock off me right now or I’ll—“ Oh look, the rock was off her.
“Don’t you dare leave,” Soft immediately commanded as she stood up and brushed herself off. The suited shooter in front of her paused and decided to wait, glancing uncomfortably around at the surroundings, worried, apparently, that someone might see them. Soft grumbled about a lot of things as she braided up her hair again, mostly about how everything never goes the way she wants it to and how everybody were idiots when it came to what they were supposed to do and how convoluted things were getting and really, how could all the little children understand this? What were they supposed to get out of this story? Hmmm?
Ratfink stared as Soft slowly regained her composure and smiled up at him in a rather disconcerting way. He was a rat. At least, sort of a rat, but he was rat-like enough not to be a human, which was too bad because rats can’t be protagonists, although sometimes they were in fables, but fables weren’t stories of heroes but dammit, she needed to salvage this story somehow. Ratfink coughed politely and slung his rather slender gun over his shoulder. “Now if you excuse me, I must be—“
“Oh thaaaaaa~nk you, kind sir~” Soft interrupted, malevolent sweetness just exuding out of her voice. The tildes that were somehow audible seemed somewhat aggressive. “Many people have passed me by, but yoooo~uu~ have paaaaaa~ssed! You aloooo~ne have released me because of the gooooooo~dness of your heart! Now your kindness shall be rewaaaaa~rded, for such a good heart deseeeee~rves a graaaaaaa~nd rewaaaa~rd~~~~~~”
This was getting creepy. “Not from the goodness of my heart,” he pointed out, his hair starting to bristle. He wished he could have just stayed out of sight. “You told me to.”
“From the GOOOOOO~DNESS of your HEART~” Oh dear. What did he get himself into. “Of course, you didn’t know this, but I am a ~maaaaaa~gical~ fairy being thing and because of how utterly goooooo~d you are, I shall protect and guide you throughout your miiiii~ghty quest~”
Ratfink crossed his arms. He was getting a little twitchy, just standing in plain view like this. Dammit, if she had just gone on to not attack one of the other targets, this sort of thing would have never happened…
“Not on a ‘mighty quest,’” he tried to explain tersely. “I have to protect you. Was supposed to protect you secretly, but you went and decided to get trapped under a rock. I’ll have to get back to my post now. Pretend to have not seen me.”
But as he turned to scrabble back up the wall, Soft grabbed his arm. It was a surprisingly firm grip. He resisted the instinct to flip her over and onto the ground. She probably wouldn’t like that.
“No. I’M supposed to protect YOU. That’s what magical fairies do, and you certainly aren’t one and magical fairies don’t need protection and I don’t care about your job you’re the big hero underdog-rat-thing now and you have to call on ME to get out of trouble because that’s how it’s gonna go soooooo~ let’s get on with the queeeee~st alreeeeeeeaa~dy~~~~” Her voice was starting to sound strained. Ratfink was pretty sure it wouldn’t be wise to push her over the tipping point. He sighed. It had seemed so simple when he first took it…
“What’s my quest supposed to be? Wait,” he said, carefully taking back his hand. “Let’s get up top first. Don’t want to be seen.”
Depending on the hero, they could be a little sneaky and cunning, and he was sort of a rat. This would fit his character, she supposed. “Fine.” And, after suddenly tying her cloak back on again, Soft leaped upwards and scaled the wall of the building easily. Ratfink sighed. This charge was suddenly getting really annoying. Still, he was glad he wasn’t the poor sap who got the violent, screaming goddess thing. And with that happy thought, the gunman climbed up the wall a tad slower than his ‘magical fairy friend.’
“Okay,” Ratfink continued, feeling much better now. “What’s my quest supposed to be?”
“Why~ haven~t you~ seeee~n~? There is a daaaa~rk~ force plaguing~ your~ land~ and it ab~so~lutely~ must~ be~ stooooo~pped~~~~”
Ratfink still maintained that the goddess would have been worse. “I imagine you mean the sudden turmoil that hadn’t been there until you and your friends showed up.”
“An eeeeee~vil big bad tyyy~rant is coming to take oooo~ver, you see, and under his rule, baaaaa~d things’ll haaaaa~pen~ you know~ and sooooo~ someone must stand~ up~ against~ him~”
Hm. This really wasn’t looking good. He was pretty sure that—
“You must kiiiii~ll~, dear hero, kill that mean Vaaaa~ndrel Reee~inhardt~”
Oh dear. He was fairly certain that whoever got that guy wouldn’t be happy about that.
If he refused, would she try to tear his head off? Better not check. But he couldn’t go along with what she wanted him to do. Couldn’t go against the plan, could he? Whatever the plan was. He couldn’t say his employer was the type to divulge everything if he didn’t need to. “Not really sure about that.”
“Are you queeeee~stioning meeeee~~~~~ I reeeee~ally hope not because I miiii~ght have to do~ something~ draa~stic~ because I don’t liiii~ke it~~~~”
Goddamn tilde wave. If he heard another tilde, he might have to wring someone’s throat. “No, not like that. You know what’s going on, right? I know you do. You already know about my job.”
“Siiiii~llyyyy~ heeeee~rooooo~ you’re just a huuuuu~mble faaaaaaaa~rmboooyyy~~~ noooo~ shadowy connnneeee~ctioooooons~~~~~~~~”
Dear god.
“Exactly. You know things. Just ignoring them for sake of whatever it is. So you know the woman that stands behind him. You know why he’s getting so much power here. People are already rallying behind him. He’s making use of the confusion. I know this too. You can’t kill him with a sorceress beside him. So kill the sorceress first.” God, that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever said before. Never thought he’d be putting all those childish stories he read as a kid to use.
Soft stood still for a moment. “Yeeeeeee~sssss~~~~” she sighed through gritted teeth, apparently not liking uppity characters who knew more than was good for them. “You were suppooooo~sed to realiii~ze this laaaaaaaa~~~~tteeerrrrrrrrr~~~~~ but I guess if you aaalll~ready~ knooooo~www~ there’s no pooooiiii~nt~~~~”
Well, he plugged up that problem nicely. Ratfink looked across the troubled ex-utopia. He wasn’t actually allowed to kill her. But this was a slightly better situation. At least she didn’t have a guardian angel that would probably kill him even if he didn’t actually want to kill her and was just acting by the whims of a weird girl. Probably harder to kill, as well, from what he had heard…perhaps.
“Alright. You know where she is?”
“Of coooouuu~rse heeeee~roooo~ I know maaaaaa~ny things~~~ the biiii~g baa~d wiiiiii~tch is in this Administraaaa~tion thing and…ooooh~ I think she’s waaa~lking somewhere nooooow~~~”
“I know where that is. Let’s go.” The next rooftop was slightly lower and he was able to simply jump down to it. Soft pursed her lips and shouted, “Hold it heeeee~roooo~~” before landing beside him.
“Aaare~nt you going to go back doooooo~wn~~~~?”
“We’ll be seen. Safer this way.”
Seriously what kind of heee~rooooo~ leaps around on roooooo~ftops like a cooooo~moooo~n~ theiiiii~f~~~~ that’s just ridiiiiiii~cuuuuu~looouuuus~~~
“You seeeee~ heeeee~roooo~ I’m supposed to be waaaaa~tching over yooouuuu~ and it would be eaaaa~sier to be the unseeee~n guaaaa~rdian if I were up here and you aaaaa~ll the way doooo~wn there~~~~”
“Sorceress probably have spies everywhere. Better to stay unseen. If I’m a hero, I must be pragmatic.”
Damn pragmatic heroes. “Oh fiiii~ne~ we can walk togeeee~ther~ me and yooouuuu~~~~ heeeeee~heeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~”
Oh dear.
There was a long silence. Did the snooper think that she didn’t know he was there?
Tapping her fingers on the ground and sighing loudly to let everybody around (her and the mysterious stranger) just how inconvenient this was for her, Soft shouted out again. “Didja hear me? Get this rock off me right now or I’ll—“ Oh look, the rock was off her.
“Don’t you dare leave,” Soft immediately commanded as she stood up and brushed herself off. The suited shooter in front of her paused and decided to wait, glancing uncomfortably around at the surroundings, worried, apparently, that someone might see them. Soft grumbled about a lot of things as she braided up her hair again, mostly about how everything never goes the way she wants it to and how everybody were idiots when it came to what they were supposed to do and how convoluted things were getting and really, how could all the little children understand this? What were they supposed to get out of this story? Hmmm?
Ratfink stared as Soft slowly regained her composure and smiled up at him in a rather disconcerting way. He was a rat. At least, sort of a rat, but he was rat-like enough not to be a human, which was too bad because rats can’t be protagonists, although sometimes they were in fables, but fables weren’t stories of heroes but dammit, she needed to salvage this story somehow. Ratfink coughed politely and slung his rather slender gun over his shoulder. “Now if you excuse me, I must be—“
“Oh thaaaaaa~nk you, kind sir~” Soft interrupted, malevolent sweetness just exuding out of her voice. The tildes that were somehow audible seemed somewhat aggressive. “Many people have passed me by, but yoooo~uu~ have paaaaaa~ssed! You aloooo~ne have released me because of the gooooooo~dness of your heart! Now your kindness shall be rewaaaaa~rded, for such a good heart deseeeee~rves a graaaaaaa~nd rewaaaa~rd~~~~~~”
This was getting creepy. “Not from the goodness of my heart,” he pointed out, his hair starting to bristle. He wished he could have just stayed out of sight. “You told me to.”
“From the GOOOOOO~DNESS of your HEART~” Oh dear. What did he get himself into. “Of course, you didn’t know this, but I am a ~maaaaaa~gical~ fairy being thing and because of how utterly goooooo~d you are, I shall protect and guide you throughout your miiiii~ghty quest~”
Ratfink crossed his arms. He was getting a little twitchy, just standing in plain view like this. Dammit, if she had just gone on to not attack one of the other targets, this sort of thing would have never happened…
“Not on a ‘mighty quest,’” he tried to explain tersely. “I have to protect you. Was supposed to protect you secretly, but you went and decided to get trapped under a rock. I’ll have to get back to my post now. Pretend to have not seen me.”
But as he turned to scrabble back up the wall, Soft grabbed his arm. It was a surprisingly firm grip. He resisted the instinct to flip her over and onto the ground. She probably wouldn’t like that.
“No. I’M supposed to protect YOU. That’s what magical fairies do, and you certainly aren’t one and magical fairies don’t need protection and I don’t care about your job you’re the big hero underdog-rat-thing now and you have to call on ME to get out of trouble because that’s how it’s gonna go soooooo~ let’s get on with the queeeee~st alreeeeeeeaa~dy~~~~” Her voice was starting to sound strained. Ratfink was pretty sure it wouldn’t be wise to push her over the tipping point. He sighed. It had seemed so simple when he first took it…
“What’s my quest supposed to be? Wait,” he said, carefully taking back his hand. “Let’s get up top first. Don’t want to be seen.”
Depending on the hero, they could be a little sneaky and cunning, and he was sort of a rat. This would fit his character, she supposed. “Fine.” And, after suddenly tying her cloak back on again, Soft leaped upwards and scaled the wall of the building easily. Ratfink sighed. This charge was suddenly getting really annoying. Still, he was glad he wasn’t the poor sap who got the violent, screaming goddess thing. And with that happy thought, the gunman climbed up the wall a tad slower than his ‘magical fairy friend.’
“Okay,” Ratfink continued, feeling much better now. “What’s my quest supposed to be?”
“Why~ haven~t you~ seeee~n~? There is a daaaa~rk~ force plaguing~ your~ land~ and it ab~so~lutely~ must~ be~ stooooo~pped~~~~”
Ratfink still maintained that the goddess would have been worse. “I imagine you mean the sudden turmoil that hadn’t been there until you and your friends showed up.”
“An eeeeee~vil big bad tyyy~rant is coming to take oooo~ver, you see, and under his rule, baaaaa~d things’ll haaaaa~pen~ you know~ and sooooo~ someone must stand~ up~ against~ him~”
Hm. This really wasn’t looking good. He was pretty sure that—
“You must kiiiii~ll~, dear hero, kill that mean Vaaaa~ndrel Reee~inhardt~”
Oh dear. He was fairly certain that whoever got that guy wouldn’t be happy about that.
If he refused, would she try to tear his head off? Better not check. But he couldn’t go along with what she wanted him to do. Couldn’t go against the plan, could he? Whatever the plan was. He couldn’t say his employer was the type to divulge everything if he didn’t need to. “Not really sure about that.”
“Are you queeeee~stioning meeeee~~~~~ I reeeee~ally hope not because I miiii~ght have to do~ something~ draa~stic~ because I don’t liiii~ke it~~~~”
Goddamn tilde wave. If he heard another tilde, he might have to wring someone’s throat. “No, not like that. You know what’s going on, right? I know you do. You already know about my job.”
“Siiiii~llyyyy~ heeeee~rooooo~ you’re just a huuuuu~mble faaaaaaaa~rmboooyyy~~~ noooo~ shadowy connnneeee~ctioooooons~~~~~~~~”
Dear god.
“Exactly. You know things. Just ignoring them for sake of whatever it is. So you know the woman that stands behind him. You know why he’s getting so much power here. People are already rallying behind him. He’s making use of the confusion. I know this too. You can’t kill him with a sorceress beside him. So kill the sorceress first.” God, that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever said before. Never thought he’d be putting all those childish stories he read as a kid to use.
Soft stood still for a moment. “Yeeeeeee~sssss~~~~” she sighed through gritted teeth, apparently not liking uppity characters who knew more than was good for them. “You were suppooooo~sed to realiii~ze this laaaaaaaa~~~~tteeerrrrrrrrr~~~~~ but I guess if you aaalll~ready~ knooooo~www~ there’s no pooooiiii~nt~~~~”
Well, he plugged up that problem nicely. Ratfink looked across the troubled ex-utopia. He wasn’t actually allowed to kill her. But this was a slightly better situation. At least she didn’t have a guardian angel that would probably kill him even if he didn’t actually want to kill her and was just acting by the whims of a weird girl. Probably harder to kill, as well, from what he had heard…perhaps.
“Alright. You know where she is?”
“Of coooouuu~rse heeeee~roooo~ I know maaaaaa~ny things~~~ the biiii~g baa~d wiiiiii~tch is in this Administraaaa~tion thing and…ooooh~ I think she’s waaa~lking somewhere nooooow~~~”
“I know where that is. Let’s go.” The next rooftop was slightly lower and he was able to simply jump down to it. Soft pursed her lips and shouted, “Hold it heeeee~roooo~~” before landing beside him.
“Aaare~nt you going to go back doooooo~wn~~~~?”
“We’ll be seen. Safer this way.”
Seriously what kind of heee~rooooo~ leaps around on roooooo~ftops like a cooooo~moooo~n~ theiiiii~f~~~~ that’s just ridiiiiiii~cuuuuu~looouuuus~~~
“You seeeee~ heeeee~roooo~ I’m supposed to be waaaaa~tching over yooouuuu~ and it would be eaaaa~sier to be the unseeee~n guaaaa~rdian if I were up here and you aaaaa~ll the way doooo~wn there~~~~”
“Sorceress probably have spies everywhere. Better to stay unseen. If I’m a hero, I must be pragmatic.”
Damn pragmatic heroes. “Oh fiiii~ne~ we can walk togeeee~ther~ me and yooouuuu~~~~ heeeeee~heeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~”
Oh dear.