The Great Belligerency [Round 4: Static]

Originally posted on MSPA by Pick Yer Poison.

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Phil barely knew what to say. He’d never really been in close contact with any attractive women before; his only female mission officers were batty old hags. He’d already hunted them down and taken care of them, so they wouldn’t leak anything he didn’t want them to. Amy confused him, in ways he hadn’t been confused in a long time…

The sound of a door creaking open broke into Phil’s thoughts. He turned his headlamp towards the noise; a door lay ajar, leading down more stairs. Phil approached it cautiously, leveling his gun, just in case something—

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP SPLOOSH!

“Amy!” Phil shouted, and charged through the open doorway, immediately tripping upon the wet stair near the top, falling down every step and into the puddle of water at the bottom. "Argh!"

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP SPLOOSH!

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As Cole and Reinhardt were heading towards the basement, the lights flickered, then went out completely. Both halted for a moment, uncertain what to do. Reinhardt was just about to suggest they wait until the lights returned, when Cole’s rear end lit up like a lightbulb.

Reinhardt opened his mouth with an amused expression on his face, but shut it when Cole growled at him. “Not a word! Or you can play king in the dark again.” Just then, Amy and Phil’s cries echoed up to the kitchen. Cole and Reinhardt paused and looked at each other, silently agreeing that whatever had just happened, it was the work of those despicable gods. They began striding rapidly for the door to the basement, Reinhardt with his sword at the ready, and Cole with his arse.