Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round One: The "Denny's"]
06-21-2011, 06:43 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by Pick Yer Poison.
AMP was very, very confused. He had never had so many things happen in such a short span of time, and he was having some difficulty keeping up with current events. He devoted as much processing power as he could to fully analyzing what was going on, but he was quickly forced to accept that doing so was simply beyond the scope of his abilities. His database insisted that kazoos were not capable of turning people into wolves with high contrast paint on their faces, and that whatever an "accelerando slash" was, it certainly wasn't part of any known musical composition. While it did concede that mining guns did, in fact, exist, it was quick to point out that they should not be as powerful as Lucky's. It then blew him a virtual raspberry, at which point AMP decided his database was in possession of far more resources than it actually needed and fully returned his attention to the situation at hand, and mildly surprised to find himself being addressed by the time traveler, who was attempting to recruit him for some kazoo-recovery mission.
"Certainly, Elder Xodarap. I was interested in uncovering its mysteries as well." He rolled forward and while Quantos leaped out of the way as quickly as he could, he still felt a tiny tug on his arm and eye in the direction AMP's shrapnel cloud was spinning. Winston follow his lead, and Lucky backed away from AMP as well, although for some reason one of AMP's cameras swiveled to track the shrunken city. When he reached the door, AMP surprised all those in attendance by managing to coordinate the pieces of metal swirling around him so that they fit almost exactly through the doorway, with nothing worse befalling the door than a few lost chips of woods.
Ned, momentarily stymied by the fact that the room he had just run into was a dead end, was delighted to see that a fan had followed him, even if that fan wasn't much more than a mobile tornado of scrap metal. He stood up straight and dusted off his spiffy new jacket as the abomination pulled closer. It probably wanted an autograph, but Ned didn't have anything to write with, and of course he couldn't let his fans catch him unprepared; he needed a distraction. He put his kazoo to his mouth. "Are you ready to ROCK!?"
AMP paused and focused one camera on the kazoo, setting the other to sweep the room. "Database results indicate that a kazoo is--" He wasn't able to finish, as Ned chose that moment to rock out, the force of the music blasting AMP back towards the doorway. He extended his shrapnel cloud in an attempt to catch himself on the sides of the door, but only succeeded in destroying the door in the process, flying back into the room with the others accompanied by a remarkable number of wood splinters and a serious choking hazard of a sawdust cloud. Quantos dived to the side and Elimine hit the deck, razor-sharp metal passing only a few inches above her head. AMP crashed into the far wall, coming to rest in an inglorious heap on the floor. After a few moments of analysis, he gathered himself up, swirling back up to full size. New addition to database: Weaponized kazoo. Now logging. Snarky entries are prohibited.
Ned rushed out of the dead end, then made a beeline for the first door he saw. Quantos made to grab him, but Ned dropped to all fours and ducked under his outstretched arm, barreling through the open doorway with reckless speed. He turned a corner in the hallway it linked to, howling with joy. He was on his way to spread his musical talent to the masses; he couldn't deprive them of such a sensation in good conscience.
Winston charged after him. "We can't let him escape with that kazoo!" Quantos and Lucky followed him, and AMP took up the rear, one camera still focused on Lucky. Elimine, Etiyr, and Old Greg simply sat back in the room, dumbfounded. Things were getting weirder every second.
AMP was very, very confused. He had never had so many things happen in such a short span of time, and he was having some difficulty keeping up with current events. He devoted as much processing power as he could to fully analyzing what was going on, but he was quickly forced to accept that doing so was simply beyond the scope of his abilities. His database insisted that kazoos were not capable of turning people into wolves with high contrast paint on their faces, and that whatever an "accelerando slash" was, it certainly wasn't part of any known musical composition. While it did concede that mining guns did, in fact, exist, it was quick to point out that they should not be as powerful as Lucky's. It then blew him a virtual raspberry, at which point AMP decided his database was in possession of far more resources than it actually needed and fully returned his attention to the situation at hand, and mildly surprised to find himself being addressed by the time traveler, who was attempting to recruit him for some kazoo-recovery mission.
"Certainly, Elder Xodarap. I was interested in uncovering its mysteries as well." He rolled forward and while Quantos leaped out of the way as quickly as he could, he still felt a tiny tug on his arm and eye in the direction AMP's shrapnel cloud was spinning. Winston follow his lead, and Lucky backed away from AMP as well, although for some reason one of AMP's cameras swiveled to track the shrunken city. When he reached the door, AMP surprised all those in attendance by managing to coordinate the pieces of metal swirling around him so that they fit almost exactly through the doorway, with nothing worse befalling the door than a few lost chips of woods.
Ned, momentarily stymied by the fact that the room he had just run into was a dead end, was delighted to see that a fan had followed him, even if that fan wasn't much more than a mobile tornado of scrap metal. He stood up straight and dusted off his spiffy new jacket as the abomination pulled closer. It probably wanted an autograph, but Ned didn't have anything to write with, and of course he couldn't let his fans catch him unprepared; he needed a distraction. He put his kazoo to his mouth. "Are you ready to ROCK!?"
AMP paused and focused one camera on the kazoo, setting the other to sweep the room. "Database results indicate that a kazoo is--" He wasn't able to finish, as Ned chose that moment to rock out, the force of the music blasting AMP back towards the doorway. He extended his shrapnel cloud in an attempt to catch himself on the sides of the door, but only succeeded in destroying the door in the process, flying back into the room with the others accompanied by a remarkable number of wood splinters and a serious choking hazard of a sawdust cloud. Quantos dived to the side and Elimine hit the deck, razor-sharp metal passing only a few inches above her head. AMP crashed into the far wall, coming to rest in an inglorious heap on the floor. After a few moments of analysis, he gathered himself up, swirling back up to full size. New addition to database: Weaponized kazoo. Now logging. Snarky entries are prohibited.
Ned rushed out of the dead end, then made a beeline for the first door he saw. Quantos made to grab him, but Ned dropped to all fours and ducked under his outstretched arm, barreling through the open doorway with reckless speed. He turned a corner in the hallway it linked to, howling with joy. He was on his way to spread his musical talent to the masses; he couldn't deprive them of such a sensation in good conscience.
Winston charged after him. "We can't let him escape with that kazoo!" Quantos and Lucky followed him, and AMP took up the rear, one camera still focused on Lucky. Elimine, Etiyr, and Old Greg simply sat back in the room, dumbfounded. Things were getting weirder every second.
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