Re: The Glorious Championship! [S3G5] [Round One: The "Denny's"]
04-30-2011, 10:45 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by engineclock.
Cailean’s hands were still twinging with the pain of the recently deceased guard’s wounds. Lately he’d begun to develop a habit of cataloguing the injuries his victims were dying of, and he couldn’t help but be impressed by this particular one. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever dealt with any like it. Maybe the man who’d been trampled by that plow horse a few months back? The crushing was somewhat similar, but this was cleaner, much cleaner. He hadn’t felt anything past his wrists, though he knew enough by now to tell that both arteries had been opened and the man would have been dead in a few minutes even without his intervention.
The girl, Elli, hadn’t bothered to mention the whole your-spirit-goes-on-the-wings-of-the-taccha-maowyn’s-herons-know-her-mercy-and-leave-this-world bit, which Cailean was grateful for. In his experience explaining Maowyn’s blessing never led to any worthwhile conversations. Not unless you counted drunken exclamations of disbelief as worthwhile, anyways, though he expected that this new crowd might not react quite the same as the other soldiers had. No one had tried to stab him yet to see if he’d do anything about it, for instance. Then again, all of these new folk were sober, and were deliberately out to kill him. Likely they were planning to gut him later, after they’d taken care of the fighters who could actually defend themselves.
Like the giant centipede that he and Elli had just come across, for one. It reared up at their appearance and spat a few sparks, either in surprise or anger. Cailean had seen it talking earlier, so he assumed it was at least somewhat intelligent, but couldn’t shake the feeling that it was anything more than an oversized insect. It certainly didn’t look much smarter than he’d expect the average centipede to be. Still, he figured he should try and put it as ease, if only to get away from it faster.
Taking a step back towards Elli, Cail held up his hands and said, “Easy, beast. We’re not of any mind to harm you.”
The centipede’s head turned towards him, its eyes glittering. “Oh, really? Didn’t seem to be your plan back there with the guard. Could’ve sworn I saw you stab him in the heart, but hey. I only have seven eyes. I could be wrong.”
Cailean sighed dully. “The Taccha Maowyn would have me end the agony of the dying and the dying alone. It’s not my place to refuse her. Should you ever befall a similar fate, know that I’ll offer you the same privilege. Maowyn’s mercy knows no limits.”
Elli coughed. “I think what Cailean here means is that the guard in question was done for anyways… Gaurinn, right? Though it seems obvious, killing people in a battle. It’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?” She smiled at Gaurinn, adjusting her trombone pointedly. “But we’ve got nothing against you if you’ve got nothing against us.”
Gaurinn’s mouthparts made a noise vaguely comparable to a snort. “Well, since you two seem like such trustworthy people, I suppose I’d better tell you that there was a man back in a room over there who tried to throw something at me and looked like he was wearing a dead animal. Funny guy. I took care of him for now, but if there’s more like him then I think you and your boyfriend there should watch your backs.” He paused for just a second, then continued, “Might as well watch mine while you’re at it. How about it?”
“Are you asking to join us?”
The centipede snickered. “I think ‘offering’ is a better word choice here. Besides, are you really going to trust armor guy, there? You’re gonna buy his cute little story about mercy and whatever? What’s gonna stop him from doing to you what he did to that guard? Worst case scenario, I’ll fry him for you and the two of us can go on our merry way. I’m probably more fun to talk to than he is, anyways.”
Centipedes can’t grin smugly, not really, but Elli had a distinct feeling that that’s what this one was doing. She turned to Cailean dubiously. “What do you think?”
He shrugged, his armor clanking against itself. “Can’t say I like the looks of it, but it’s your call, lass. You’re the one it’s asking. Personally I’d rather have the damn thing where I can see it.”
Elli turned back to Gaurinn, who spat out another spark. “Alright. The three of us are a team, for now at least. Like I told this guy here, no one’s the leader and no one’s following. And if either of you tries anything, I’ll have your head stuck on my trombone faster than you can blink. Now, where do we go from here?”
The tiny claws on Gaurinn’s foremost limbs unfolded to reveal the map he’d been holding. “I found this just now. It’s not very detailed but at least we’ll have a chance at knowing where we are. This room here-” He tapped a spot on the map awkwardly. “I haven’t checked out yet. There might be something worth taking, or something that’ll try to kill all three of us. I vote we have a look at it.” He gestured down the corridor to a door on the right-hand side. “Watch out for crazy men wearing furry corpses.” He settled back down, quite clearly indicating that whoever was going to open the door wouldn’t be him.
Cailean wasn’t ecstatic that the centipede had decided to stay with him and Elli, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now, and he supposed it was at least somewhat better than having to fight it. The thing that had brought him here had mentioned that the beast was fragile, hadn’t he? Not that Cailean would be able to do anything about it, of course. Although… it had seemed clear to him at the time that when Maowyn blessed him she meant he only couldn’t harm humans. “Living beings”…no, he supposed Guarinn still counted. Possibly. It was something to keep in mind, at any rate.
Approaching the door, he noticed that it lacked a handle or anything else that might provide a way to open it. For a moment he considered using Maowyn’s dagger to slice his way through and mentally shuddered at how the Taccha would react to him using her weapon in such a mundane way; fortunately, the door slid open of its own accord as soon as he got close enough. Unfortunately, what came through the door was a colossal surge of pancakes that instantly flattened Cailean with a blow that felt rather like being hit in the chest by a collapsing horse.
“Maowyn’s tits!” He screamed in surprise as the pancakes knocked him over and started to pile up on his body. Frantically he began to shove them off in heaps, crawling backwards and relaxing only slightly as he saw that they weren’t anything dangerous. The pancakes continued to pour out of the door like sand through an hourglass, slipping over each other and covering the floor of the hallway in a carpet of soft, squishy cake. Cailean scrambled to his feet, panting. Of all the things that had attacked him at one point or other, he had to admit that pancakes were fairly unique. Not to mention embarrassing. “What in the five hells is this?”
Behind him, Gaurinn was snickering and Elli was picking up one of the cakes to examine it. She sniffed it cautiously, then gingerly nibbled at it. “Pancakes, apparently. Freshly made and still warm. This…” She raised her eyebrows and took another bite. “This is a surprisingly good pancake. I guess our captor wasn’t kidding about breakfast, huh?”
Picking a few last crumbs off his armor, Cailean narrowly resisted the temptation to swear a little more eloquently. Didn’t really seem to be a couth thing to do in front of the lass. “Have all you like, then. Can’t say I much fancy eating anything that just tried to bury me.” He spotted Gaurinn beginning to climb the enormous pile of pancakes, which by now had mostly stopped flowing with the exception of a few stray cakes that flopped sadly down the heap. “Beast, where’re you headed?”
Gaurinn turned back, his mandibles clicking disdainfully. “Gaurinn. You don’t look too bright but you can at least remember that, can’t you?” The centipede’s legs impaled countless pancakes as he climbed the pile and squeezed through the door frame. “I want to see what else is in this room.”
Elli nodded, grabbing a few pancakes for later. “Anything interesting?”
The centipede called back, “I hope the two of you are hungry, cause there’s more than pancakes in here. A lot more. Big heap of sausages by the far wall, I think those might be eggs over there… pretty sure that’s a trough full of coffee. Jesus. Can’t even see the floor. You two deadweights better get in here, there’s a door at the other end that’s only half-blocked. Oh hell, I think I got a croissant stuck on one of my legs.”
Cailean turned to Elli, gesturing towards the pancakes. “After you, lass. At least this battle comes with food.”
Cailean’s hands were still twinging with the pain of the recently deceased guard’s wounds. Lately he’d begun to develop a habit of cataloguing the injuries his victims were dying of, and he couldn’t help but be impressed by this particular one. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever dealt with any like it. Maybe the man who’d been trampled by that plow horse a few months back? The crushing was somewhat similar, but this was cleaner, much cleaner. He hadn’t felt anything past his wrists, though he knew enough by now to tell that both arteries had been opened and the man would have been dead in a few minutes even without his intervention.
The girl, Elli, hadn’t bothered to mention the whole your-spirit-goes-on-the-wings-of-the-taccha-maowyn’s-herons-know-her-mercy-and-leave-this-world bit, which Cailean was grateful for. In his experience explaining Maowyn’s blessing never led to any worthwhile conversations. Not unless you counted drunken exclamations of disbelief as worthwhile, anyways, though he expected that this new crowd might not react quite the same as the other soldiers had. No one had tried to stab him yet to see if he’d do anything about it, for instance. Then again, all of these new folk were sober, and were deliberately out to kill him. Likely they were planning to gut him later, after they’d taken care of the fighters who could actually defend themselves.
Like the giant centipede that he and Elli had just come across, for one. It reared up at their appearance and spat a few sparks, either in surprise or anger. Cailean had seen it talking earlier, so he assumed it was at least somewhat intelligent, but couldn’t shake the feeling that it was anything more than an oversized insect. It certainly didn’t look much smarter than he’d expect the average centipede to be. Still, he figured he should try and put it as ease, if only to get away from it faster.
Taking a step back towards Elli, Cail held up his hands and said, “Easy, beast. We’re not of any mind to harm you.”
The centipede’s head turned towards him, its eyes glittering. “Oh, really? Didn’t seem to be your plan back there with the guard. Could’ve sworn I saw you stab him in the heart, but hey. I only have seven eyes. I could be wrong.”
Cailean sighed dully. “The Taccha Maowyn would have me end the agony of the dying and the dying alone. It’s not my place to refuse her. Should you ever befall a similar fate, know that I’ll offer you the same privilege. Maowyn’s mercy knows no limits.”
Elli coughed. “I think what Cailean here means is that the guard in question was done for anyways… Gaurinn, right? Though it seems obvious, killing people in a battle. It’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?” She smiled at Gaurinn, adjusting her trombone pointedly. “But we’ve got nothing against you if you’ve got nothing against us.”
Gaurinn’s mouthparts made a noise vaguely comparable to a snort. “Well, since you two seem like such trustworthy people, I suppose I’d better tell you that there was a man back in a room over there who tried to throw something at me and looked like he was wearing a dead animal. Funny guy. I took care of him for now, but if there’s more like him then I think you and your boyfriend there should watch your backs.” He paused for just a second, then continued, “Might as well watch mine while you’re at it. How about it?”
“Are you asking to join us?”
The centipede snickered. “I think ‘offering’ is a better word choice here. Besides, are you really going to trust armor guy, there? You’re gonna buy his cute little story about mercy and whatever? What’s gonna stop him from doing to you what he did to that guard? Worst case scenario, I’ll fry him for you and the two of us can go on our merry way. I’m probably more fun to talk to than he is, anyways.”
Centipedes can’t grin smugly, not really, but Elli had a distinct feeling that that’s what this one was doing. She turned to Cailean dubiously. “What do you think?”
He shrugged, his armor clanking against itself. “Can’t say I like the looks of it, but it’s your call, lass. You’re the one it’s asking. Personally I’d rather have the damn thing where I can see it.”
Elli turned back to Gaurinn, who spat out another spark. “Alright. The three of us are a team, for now at least. Like I told this guy here, no one’s the leader and no one’s following. And if either of you tries anything, I’ll have your head stuck on my trombone faster than you can blink. Now, where do we go from here?”
The tiny claws on Gaurinn’s foremost limbs unfolded to reveal the map he’d been holding. “I found this just now. It’s not very detailed but at least we’ll have a chance at knowing where we are. This room here-” He tapped a spot on the map awkwardly. “I haven’t checked out yet. There might be something worth taking, or something that’ll try to kill all three of us. I vote we have a look at it.” He gestured down the corridor to a door on the right-hand side. “Watch out for crazy men wearing furry corpses.” He settled back down, quite clearly indicating that whoever was going to open the door wouldn’t be him.
Cailean wasn’t ecstatic that the centipede had decided to stay with him and Elli, but there wasn’t much he could do about it now, and he supposed it was at least somewhat better than having to fight it. The thing that had brought him here had mentioned that the beast was fragile, hadn’t he? Not that Cailean would be able to do anything about it, of course. Although… it had seemed clear to him at the time that when Maowyn blessed him she meant he only couldn’t harm humans. “Living beings”…no, he supposed Guarinn still counted. Possibly. It was something to keep in mind, at any rate.
Approaching the door, he noticed that it lacked a handle or anything else that might provide a way to open it. For a moment he considered using Maowyn’s dagger to slice his way through and mentally shuddered at how the Taccha would react to him using her weapon in such a mundane way; fortunately, the door slid open of its own accord as soon as he got close enough. Unfortunately, what came through the door was a colossal surge of pancakes that instantly flattened Cailean with a blow that felt rather like being hit in the chest by a collapsing horse.
“Maowyn’s tits!” He screamed in surprise as the pancakes knocked him over and started to pile up on his body. Frantically he began to shove them off in heaps, crawling backwards and relaxing only slightly as he saw that they weren’t anything dangerous. The pancakes continued to pour out of the door like sand through an hourglass, slipping over each other and covering the floor of the hallway in a carpet of soft, squishy cake. Cailean scrambled to his feet, panting. Of all the things that had attacked him at one point or other, he had to admit that pancakes were fairly unique. Not to mention embarrassing. “What in the five hells is this?”
Behind him, Gaurinn was snickering and Elli was picking up one of the cakes to examine it. She sniffed it cautiously, then gingerly nibbled at it. “Pancakes, apparently. Freshly made and still warm. This…” She raised her eyebrows and took another bite. “This is a surprisingly good pancake. I guess our captor wasn’t kidding about breakfast, huh?”
Picking a few last crumbs off his armor, Cailean narrowly resisted the temptation to swear a little more eloquently. Didn’t really seem to be a couth thing to do in front of the lass. “Have all you like, then. Can’t say I much fancy eating anything that just tried to bury me.” He spotted Gaurinn beginning to climb the enormous pile of pancakes, which by now had mostly stopped flowing with the exception of a few stray cakes that flopped sadly down the heap. “Beast, where’re you headed?”
Gaurinn turned back, his mandibles clicking disdainfully. “Gaurinn. You don’t look too bright but you can at least remember that, can’t you?” The centipede’s legs impaled countless pancakes as he climbed the pile and squeezed through the door frame. “I want to see what else is in this room.”
Elli nodded, grabbing a few pancakes for later. “Anything interesting?”
The centipede called back, “I hope the two of you are hungry, cause there’s more than pancakes in here. A lot more. Big heap of sausages by the far wall, I think those might be eggs over there… pretty sure that’s a trough full of coffee. Jesus. Can’t even see the floor. You two deadweights better get in here, there’s a door at the other end that’s only half-blocked. Oh hell, I think I got a croissant stuck on one of my legs.”
Cailean turned to Elli, gesturing towards the pancakes. “After you, lass. At least this battle comes with food.”