Make A Wish

>Wish for a BETTER sandwich with bacon on it.

"I wish I had an awesome bacon sandwich instead of this cruddy purple sandwich. Seriously I don't even know what this filling is." You say.
"Can't do it." The genie replies. "It's in the rules."
"What?" You ask. "One of your rules is no half-decent sandwiches?"
"No." The genie replies. "One of our rules is that no wish can contradict a previous wish. Essentially no backsies. I guess I suppose that should be one the things I mention up front but I always forget. Whatever you know now."

> Wish for an end to world hunger and poverty and all that jazz

You opt to put this sandwich thing to one side for now and focus on the fact that most everyone on the planet hates you. You quickly come to the conclusion that if you use your powers for good they will eventually come to see that you are a genuinely good guy and stop being so pissed at you.
"I wish for an end to world hunger and poverty." You say.
"Done." The genie replies.


Hmm... This doesn't look better. This looks distinctly worse.
"But I solved world hunger and poverty. How come people hate me even more?" You ask. The secret service guy who is now stationed in your office to protect you at all times chirps up.


"You fed the poor to the hungry." He says. "Sure I guess it solves those problems but not in a way that makes anybody like you."

>>Wish that your subjects would never be enraged. Because you really don't want those bars on your window.

"Okay." You say. "Lets try this again; I wish that my subjects didn't hate me."
"Done."


This is more like it. Windows blessedly free of bars... No noisy rabble outside clamouring for your blood... What's the catch?
"Hey secret service guy." You say. "What precisely happened that caused everyone to like me now?"


He looked thoughtful for a moment before suddenly piping up.
"Oh yeah. There was some bad people who were very nasty about you. I almost forgot." He grinned stupidly. "You ordered that everyone had to have this operation to make everything nice and happy because you are the best king and we all love you very much." You frown and cross your arms.
"What are you still doing here then?" You ask. "If everyone loves me then why do I need protection?"
"There was some mean old people who didn't want the nice surgery and went on the run." He said. "My job keep you safe!"
"Great." You say. "This day just gets better and better."

SpoilerShow

Wait, I know how this goes.

> Wish that he'll stop being a total bitch and granting you wishes in ways that you find implicitly unsatisfactory. If he tries weaseling out of it, just tell him to tell you the exact effect every wish will have before he grants it.

This in the next update.