RE: btp and the means of production
12-31-2011, 10:03 AM
I have downloaded an app on my phone that lets me make little to-do lists. (it's called "Orchestra", if you are iphone equipped).
On it I have several items including: "Apply for 3 research jobs", "organize room", "finish secret santa". "Write a btp post" is not an item on that list, but here I am anyway.
I have not responded to this yet! The response is that "the means of reproduction" is something that I would very much like to write on. "btp and the sexytimes" or "btp and the butts of glory" oh oh or "btp and the many astriks"
Also I often will read threads because of misread perceived sexual connotations. I can't think of anything specific here but IT HAS HAPPENED.
IT HAS HAPPENED TO EVERYONE AND YOU KNOW IT.
Oh man now I kind of want to talk about sexy things but nope nope it is not the time for that I am instead going to talk about drugs.
DRUGS NOT SEX. SORRY GUYS.
There are a good variety of skills I have gained from working here that I never expected. Like how to make iced tea (hot tea + ice), how to BS marginally pointless medical records (oh uhhh yeah you ate...half your dinner? I'm going to say half? You're unconscious right now so yeah that), how to remove layers upon layers of caked on alcohol gel from your hands (because you have to cover them whenever you enter/exit a room - this also goes along with 'how to fake putting alcohol gel on your hands'), but most interestingly is how to spike people's drinks.
Okay it is really not that interesting. You just take a drink and then put stuff in it that was not originally there. Not very hard, but then again neither is making iced tea so I probably have a lot of room for learning things.
But yes, adding things to people's food is pretty important in a hospital.
Lets say I check the blood sugar of this guy before the night is over and it's 70. This is a low number. If he goes to sleep he will probably wake up with a blood sugar of 40 and that is not a good thing. (80-120 is a good thing). But this sleepy old man doesn't want to eat this turkey sandwich that meal services has prepared for him, instead he wants a juice.
That's good that's okay juice is fine it has sugar.
Not enough sugar though.
So there I am adding 3-4 packets of grade A refined sugar to this diabetics drink so that he won't be in a coma in the morning. They call it "fairy dusting" (no one calls it "fairy dusting"). Anyway he drinks it and he is happy because Wow old people really like sugar for some reason and I'm happy because he will probably be fine in the morning.
I add sugar to a lot of things. Applesauce mainly, because some old folks just wont eat things that are not loaded with sweet sweet fairy dust (no one calls it that).
Actually applesauce is the modus operandi for a lot of sneaky medications. So the nurse comes in and is all "okay mr. so and so time for your pills."
Mr. so and so does not want his pills.
"okay that's fine let me put these pills away into this pill crusher."
crush crush crush crush.
fairy dust
mix mix mix.
"hello Mr. so and so would you like some applesauce?"
Mr. So and so would love some applesauce.
(or at least he can't argue against swallowing the applesauce as much)
Nurses (and most hospital staff) can be devious creatures. They will do what they can to get you to do what they think the doctor wants you to do, even if you don't want to do it.
The magic words are "It's the Doctor's orders". Apparently patients trust their doctors? That is probably a good person to trust. Some of them don't but that's when you have to pull out the applesauce.
On it I have several items including: "Apply for 3 research jobs", "organize room", "finish secret santa". "Write a btp post" is not an item on that list, but here I am anyway.
PYP Wrote:Tired as I was, I read the thread title as "the means of reproduction and had to do a double take. Then I just decided to read it out of curiosity.
HELICOPTER CAT FINDS THIS ENJOYABLE
I have not responded to this yet! The response is that "the means of reproduction" is something that I would very much like to write on. "btp and the sexytimes" or "btp and the butts of glory" oh oh or "btp and the many astriks"
Also I often will read threads because of misread perceived sexual connotations. I can't think of anything specific here but IT HAS HAPPENED.
IT HAS HAPPENED TO EVERYONE AND YOU KNOW IT.
Oh man now I kind of want to talk about sexy things but nope nope it is not the time for that I am instead going to talk about drugs.
DRUGS NOT SEX. SORRY GUYS.
There are a good variety of skills I have gained from working here that I never expected. Like how to make iced tea (hot tea + ice), how to BS marginally pointless medical records (oh uhhh yeah you ate...half your dinner? I'm going to say half? You're unconscious right now so yeah that), how to remove layers upon layers of caked on alcohol gel from your hands (because you have to cover them whenever you enter/exit a room - this also goes along with 'how to fake putting alcohol gel on your hands'), but most interestingly is how to spike people's drinks.
Okay it is really not that interesting. You just take a drink and then put stuff in it that was not originally there. Not very hard, but then again neither is making iced tea so I probably have a lot of room for learning things.
But yes, adding things to people's food is pretty important in a hospital.
Lets say I check the blood sugar of this guy before the night is over and it's 70. This is a low number. If he goes to sleep he will probably wake up with a blood sugar of 40 and that is not a good thing. (80-120 is a good thing). But this sleepy old man doesn't want to eat this turkey sandwich that meal services has prepared for him, instead he wants a juice.
That's good that's okay juice is fine it has sugar.
Not enough sugar though.
So there I am adding 3-4 packets of grade A refined sugar to this diabetics drink so that he won't be in a coma in the morning. They call it "fairy dusting" (no one calls it "fairy dusting"). Anyway he drinks it and he is happy because Wow old people really like sugar for some reason and I'm happy because he will probably be fine in the morning.
I add sugar to a lot of things. Applesauce mainly, because some old folks just wont eat things that are not loaded with sweet sweet fairy dust (no one calls it that).
Actually applesauce is the modus operandi for a lot of sneaky medications. So the nurse comes in and is all "okay mr. so and so time for your pills."
Mr. so and so does not want his pills.
"okay that's fine let me put these pills away into this pill crusher."
crush crush crush crush.
fairy dust
mix mix mix.
"hello Mr. so and so would you like some applesauce?"
Mr. So and so would love some applesauce.
(or at least he can't argue against swallowing the applesauce as much)
Nurses (and most hospital staff) can be devious creatures. They will do what they can to get you to do what they think the doctor wants you to do, even if you don't want to do it.
The magic words are "It's the Doctor's orders". Apparently patients trust their doctors? That is probably a good person to trust. Some of them don't but that's when you have to pull out the applesauce.