Re: The Savage Brawl
02-19-2010, 03:49 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by MalkyTop.
After what seemed like an eternity, or at least half, the Cultivator stood up and stretched. She had combed through pretty much every reality she could think of for the dastardly and the infamous. Yes, a few times, she had gotten a little off track...there were just too many interesting beings out there! It was too bad most of them couldn't be called villains. And that there were only eight spots.
After a little more yoga to wake up her legs, the Cultivator glanced around, trying to find something in all the clutter. Where...where...there! Vaulting over a stuffed hippo, the Cultivator started kicking away some odds and ends until she uncovered a small pot that sported only a sprout.
Once the pot was uncovered, the sprout started to grow. The Cultivator backed away carefully as the sprout seemed to somehow grow into a sapling and then into a tree shaped rather like a candelabrum. Giant buds formed at the tip of each branch and as the Cultivator floated up to their level, they opened to reveal eight slightly bewildered contestants. It wasn't everyday you somehow wound up inside a giant flower in front of a mysterious floating lady.
"Hello, I'm The Cultivator~" she chirped with a cheerful grin. It was around this time that the eight beings found they couldn't move. Some started yelling protests or demanding answers until they suddenly couldn't speak as well.
"Now, now, calm down," the Cultivator said even though she had already forced them all to stop talking. "We won't get anywhere if you don't let me explain, hm?" With a dramatic flourish, she stretched her arms wide to each side. "Welcome! Out of all the beings I could choose from, you, yes, you, were the best of the best! Or, I should say, the best of the worst! You are all notorious or blood-thirsty or deficient of morals in some way, you bad boys you~ And girl," she hastily added. "So congratulations! You've been chosen to compete in the Savage Brawl!"
The only response were some very blank expressions.
"Basically, you all kill each other! I'll send you to a lot of different places. When one of you dies, the rest goes on to the next arena place. It's really great! Really exciting stuff. Anyways..." With two claps, the lights went out, if there were any lights to begin with. From the darkness, the Cultivator continued. "...I'll have to formally introduce you all to each other, right? Since you'll be killing each other and all!"
A spotlight suddenly shone on a thin, almost non-descript man. Still unable to move or speak, he settled with sternly glaring at the darkness. "This guy's Calm. Like, that's his name, not his state of being. Ha! Though I suppose that joke's been done already, hm? Anyways, he's made a deal with the devil, and that's not a figure of speech. See that knife there? If he hits you with it, it'll give you, like, a third degree burn. Although it goes above one thousand Celsius...that sounds way above third degree. Like...fifth? But anyways, I'd suggest you avoid it."
Next, a light shined on another man, also stern-faced. He seemed to be dressed for winter. His most interesting feature were his silver, pupilless eyes. "This fella's a tyrant guy called Hand of Silver, though you can call him Hoss. It'd be strange to just keep calling him 'Hand of Silver' all the time. If you're wondering why he's called 'Hand of Silver,' well, if I had to guess, it'd be that fake arm. As well as all those other cyborg parts. It can be pretty destructive, by the way, the arm, I mean. He has all sort of cool stuff like teleportation and gravity stuff. So, moving on!"
Next was what looked like a large gob of sewage slime. It blinked several beady eyes in the bright light before they seemed to sink out of sight. "This one's really interesting! Ekelhaft, gentlemen! ...And lady! I'm really inclined to call it a he even though it doesn't really have a gender. An avatar of decay created by a god on a forgotten world. He pretty much destroyed everything on his planet and seemed a little bored so I thought he'd like some fun, hm? You wouldn't want to stick near him very long 'cause he has this aura thing that'll make you go insane. Also, he's acidic. Also, uh...wait..." In the short pause...nothing happened. "...Um, well, he also has teeth and stuff. They're sharp. I guess you'll find out soon. I don't actually know how fast it goes, but I guess you'll find that out too."
The spotlight then shone on a taller man, disturbingly stained with blood. He was completely featureless. "Now this guy's Ziirphael. He's like an old god of death, which I guess explains the blood, though I'd think gods would have some time to dryclean. Or maybe it's aesthetics? Really, if you're running around killing people all the time, you should at least have clean clothes. Anyways, he has shape-shifting powers. Like, he can form his arms into guns and stuff. Plus, he's probably had years of experience with killing people. Maybe he can kill you with his thumb? Or someone else's thumb?"
Next was a blonde woman in a lab coat. She was holding a large gun rather tensely. "This is Dr. Anarchy and man do I love her goggles. Really cool. I should get some. Do you think they'll look good on me?" No answer. Even if the Cultivator had let them answer, they probably wouldn't say anything. "Anyways, she's a mad scientist. That thing in her arms? A death ray! On her back is a jetpack. She made them herself, of course. She's smart like that. She actually turned to mad-scientry because she was pretty bored. I know that feeling. I think I'd like to chat with her sometime. I guess if she doesn't die."
The light shined on a cloaked skeleton next. He was equipped with various cybernetic parts. "This guy is the great Konka Rar. He has a really funny name for a cyborg lich. He's the creator of a contestant in another battle who's really interesting but I won't get into that. Anyways, he knows lots of magic and technology stuff. Those cyborg parts aren't just for show. As you can probably tell, at one point he died and was brought back to life. I actually don't know much about killing a skeleton, but I'm sure one of you will figure something out~"
As soon as the light shined on the next contestant, the Cultivator burst out into giggles. It was easy to see why, looking at the large, sentient meatball. It stood on noodle appendages and glared at the laughing woman with its large, red eye. "Sorry, sorry," she gasped, wiping away a tear. "I know, I'm sorry, um, this is Gormand. I'm also inclined to call it a he. He's a meatball, with some spaghetti strands. Um. I know he looks delicious, but you shouldn't eat him. He also has an 'aura,' but it's a virus that turns stuff into meat. Don't stay around him too long either. He can also make these drones. Made out of meat. Maybe you could eat those instead. Also, he's not actually as soft as he looks. Seriously, you might break your teeth on him. And don't try the spaghetti either. It'll probably choke you."
The eighth man blinked bewilderedly in the bright light. "This guy's Diego Red. He has some really nice spiky hair...I'm sure it won't like, cut you or anything. Hair isn't that sharp," she said consolingly, as though she actually believed someone would think hair could be sharp. "Anyways, this guy has air magic! He can do stuff with vibrations and, uh, I know he looks quite normal, but he's actually quite strong. You can do a lot with a little control over air. Otherwise, why would he be here? He has a nickname, the, uh, hm...earworm! Diego "The Earworm" Red. He has a sword, but I never saw him use it."
With every contestant properly introduced, the eight lights turned off once more. "Now don't worry," the Cultivator's voice rang soothingly in the blackness. "I'm sure you'll all do fine. It'll be exciting!" Suddenly, the contestants had a strange, weightless feeling, almost as if they were not anywhere, as if their atoms had scattered and the only thing left was their conscious. Then, equally as suddenly, they were all dumped in a rather dank cavern. A dark river ran sluggishly by. Littering the floor were several bodies of what seemed to be the same person.
"This is...the Underworld! You're all not dead yet and I'm not entirely sure what happens if you do die here...but I guess that'll be interesting to find out, huh? Don't die too quickly though, it's a game after all~ Try exploring! Or looting! You might find some helpful stuff."
After what seemed like an eternity, or at least half, the Cultivator stood up and stretched. She had combed through pretty much every reality she could think of for the dastardly and the infamous. Yes, a few times, she had gotten a little off track...there were just too many interesting beings out there! It was too bad most of them couldn't be called villains. And that there were only eight spots.
After a little more yoga to wake up her legs, the Cultivator glanced around, trying to find something in all the clutter. Where...where...there! Vaulting over a stuffed hippo, the Cultivator started kicking away some odds and ends until she uncovered a small pot that sported only a sprout.
Once the pot was uncovered, the sprout started to grow. The Cultivator backed away carefully as the sprout seemed to somehow grow into a sapling and then into a tree shaped rather like a candelabrum. Giant buds formed at the tip of each branch and as the Cultivator floated up to their level, they opened to reveal eight slightly bewildered contestants. It wasn't everyday you somehow wound up inside a giant flower in front of a mysterious floating lady.
"Hello, I'm The Cultivator~" she chirped with a cheerful grin. It was around this time that the eight beings found they couldn't move. Some started yelling protests or demanding answers until they suddenly couldn't speak as well.
"Now, now, calm down," the Cultivator said even though she had already forced them all to stop talking. "We won't get anywhere if you don't let me explain, hm?" With a dramatic flourish, she stretched her arms wide to each side. "Welcome! Out of all the beings I could choose from, you, yes, you, were the best of the best! Or, I should say, the best of the worst! You are all notorious or blood-thirsty or deficient of morals in some way, you bad boys you~ And girl," she hastily added. "So congratulations! You've been chosen to compete in the Savage Brawl!"
The only response were some very blank expressions.
"Basically, you all kill each other! I'll send you to a lot of different places. When one of you dies, the rest goes on to the next arena place. It's really great! Really exciting stuff. Anyways..." With two claps, the lights went out, if there were any lights to begin with. From the darkness, the Cultivator continued. "...I'll have to formally introduce you all to each other, right? Since you'll be killing each other and all!"
A spotlight suddenly shone on a thin, almost non-descript man. Still unable to move or speak, he settled with sternly glaring at the darkness. "This guy's Calm. Like, that's his name, not his state of being. Ha! Though I suppose that joke's been done already, hm? Anyways, he's made a deal with the devil, and that's not a figure of speech. See that knife there? If he hits you with it, it'll give you, like, a third degree burn. Although it goes above one thousand Celsius...that sounds way above third degree. Like...fifth? But anyways, I'd suggest you avoid it."
Next, a light shined on another man, also stern-faced. He seemed to be dressed for winter. His most interesting feature were his silver, pupilless eyes. "This fella's a tyrant guy called Hand of Silver, though you can call him Hoss. It'd be strange to just keep calling him 'Hand of Silver' all the time. If you're wondering why he's called 'Hand of Silver,' well, if I had to guess, it'd be that fake arm. As well as all those other cyborg parts. It can be pretty destructive, by the way, the arm, I mean. He has all sort of cool stuff like teleportation and gravity stuff. So, moving on!"
Next was what looked like a large gob of sewage slime. It blinked several beady eyes in the bright light before they seemed to sink out of sight. "This one's really interesting! Ekelhaft, gentlemen! ...And lady! I'm really inclined to call it a he even though it doesn't really have a gender. An avatar of decay created by a god on a forgotten world. He pretty much destroyed everything on his planet and seemed a little bored so I thought he'd like some fun, hm? You wouldn't want to stick near him very long 'cause he has this aura thing that'll make you go insane. Also, he's acidic. Also, uh...wait..." In the short pause...nothing happened. "...Um, well, he also has teeth and stuff. They're sharp. I guess you'll find out soon. I don't actually know how fast it goes, but I guess you'll find that out too."
The spotlight then shone on a taller man, disturbingly stained with blood. He was completely featureless. "Now this guy's Ziirphael. He's like an old god of death, which I guess explains the blood, though I'd think gods would have some time to dryclean. Or maybe it's aesthetics? Really, if you're running around killing people all the time, you should at least have clean clothes. Anyways, he has shape-shifting powers. Like, he can form his arms into guns and stuff. Plus, he's probably had years of experience with killing people. Maybe he can kill you with his thumb? Or someone else's thumb?"
Next was a blonde woman in a lab coat. She was holding a large gun rather tensely. "This is Dr. Anarchy and man do I love her goggles. Really cool. I should get some. Do you think they'll look good on me?" No answer. Even if the Cultivator had let them answer, they probably wouldn't say anything. "Anyways, she's a mad scientist. That thing in her arms? A death ray! On her back is a jetpack. She made them herself, of course. She's smart like that. She actually turned to mad-scientry because she was pretty bored. I know that feeling. I think I'd like to chat with her sometime. I guess if she doesn't die."
The light shined on a cloaked skeleton next. He was equipped with various cybernetic parts. "This guy is the great Konka Rar. He has a really funny name for a cyborg lich. He's the creator of a contestant in another battle who's really interesting but I won't get into that. Anyways, he knows lots of magic and technology stuff. Those cyborg parts aren't just for show. As you can probably tell, at one point he died and was brought back to life. I actually don't know much about killing a skeleton, but I'm sure one of you will figure something out~"
As soon as the light shined on the next contestant, the Cultivator burst out into giggles. It was easy to see why, looking at the large, sentient meatball. It stood on noodle appendages and glared at the laughing woman with its large, red eye. "Sorry, sorry," she gasped, wiping away a tear. "I know, I'm sorry, um, this is Gormand. I'm also inclined to call it a he. He's a meatball, with some spaghetti strands. Um. I know he looks delicious, but you shouldn't eat him. He also has an 'aura,' but it's a virus that turns stuff into meat. Don't stay around him too long either. He can also make these drones. Made out of meat. Maybe you could eat those instead. Also, he's not actually as soft as he looks. Seriously, you might break your teeth on him. And don't try the spaghetti either. It'll probably choke you."
The eighth man blinked bewilderedly in the bright light. "This guy's Diego Red. He has some really nice spiky hair...I'm sure it won't like, cut you or anything. Hair isn't that sharp," she said consolingly, as though she actually believed someone would think hair could be sharp. "Anyways, this guy has air magic! He can do stuff with vibrations and, uh, I know he looks quite normal, but he's actually quite strong. You can do a lot with a little control over air. Otherwise, why would he be here? He has a nickname, the, uh, hm...earworm! Diego "The Earworm" Red. He has a sword, but I never saw him use it."
With every contestant properly introduced, the eight lights turned off once more. "Now don't worry," the Cultivator's voice rang soothingly in the blackness. "I'm sure you'll all do fine. It'll be exciting!" Suddenly, the contestants had a strange, weightless feeling, almost as if they were not anywhere, as if their atoms had scattered and the only thing left was their conscious. Then, equally as suddenly, they were all dumped in a rather dank cavern. A dark river ran sluggishly by. Littering the floor were several bodies of what seemed to be the same person.
"This is...the Underworld! You're all not dead yet and I'm not entirely sure what happens if you do die here...but I guess that'll be interesting to find out, huh? Don't die too quickly though, it's a game after all~ Try exploring! Or looting! You might find some helpful stuff."