Re: THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN CANCELED [S!1][ROUND TWO: ETA CARINA]
04-17-2012, 09:57 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by The Deleter.
Teus ignored the frantic bustle of the wizards, and looked down.
“Do we have an agreement?” he said in his oiliest voice.
In response, Adhira Bolar removed the cigarette from between his lips and blew a cloud of foul-smelling smoke.
“As if I have a choice, kutte ka awlat,” he retorted, shoving the dog-end back in his mouth.
Teus was reminded of why he hated the Bandar-Log.
Apparently, before the Nameless Horror, the Bandar-Log had been a proud, strong people. Images of towering ziggurats were often featured in the history texts. But you wouldn’t think that to look at them now. They were basically monkeys, and did nothing to change this.
Despite the fact that the one next to him was a neta, one of the wise orang-utans, he wasn’t representing his species very well. He smelt. The collage of clothing and straps and survival gear over his body smelt. Anything metal, like the slim barrel of his gas rifle, seemed to corrode in the ape’s presence. Teus also made a mental note to have Adhira hung for the insult – it was amazing how people didn’t think he understood Bandar, or any foreign language. Someone ought to wash this creature’s mouth out with soap.
“Oh come now, there’s always a choice,” he replied, turning his attention back to the scrying glass as the wizards tried to track down their target again.
Adhira snorted.
“Yeah? Do the job or hang, right? Wonderful choice.”
“I didn’t say it was a good choice. I just said you had one.”
The words “Program Cancelled” flashed up every so often on the scrying glass. Teus didn’t know what it meant. Not fully understanding the events before him felt wrong, and the past twenty minutes or so had left him understanding nothing. Who were these people? How did they acquire such powers? What was a “commercial?” If only he had something to use as a handle on these events.
The golem had killed a demon of some kind. It had also improvised, slathering hallucinogens on its memory crystal when the normal thought processes were insufficient. The wizards had spent hours poring over Archmage Yessic’s blueprints for the Switzerman, and still didn’t why or how, or what the container in its left wrist was, or why it needed an angelic being bound to its so-called “soul”.
Teus squashed the faint kernel of panic in his gut and spoke again.
“So we are agreed. You recover or destroy the suit, and in return you gain full Citizenship, a luxurious apartment in the high city, and a lifetime’s supply of-”
“Durians.”
Teus didn’t twitch.
“Of course.”
“Sorry to break it to you, but you’re a bakland if you think I’m agreeing to that,” added Adhira, unfolding a lever-like arm to gesture at the scrying glass. “I’m not going against a Vorpal weapon for just that. I want more. You’re paying for my shit for life on top of that, got that?”
Teus turned, and Adhira had the sudden, horrifying sensation of his skeleton trying to jump out of his body. This was because it was.
“I made no such arrangement,” said Teus, cold anger lurking behind his smooth tone.
Adhira decided that he preferred his bones on the inside.
“Right,” he grunted through the pain, “of course. Durians, home, citizenship. That’s fair.”
“Good.”
The pain went, and Adhira staggered into a more upright position.
“What about the child?” he managed to say.
“What about him?”
There was a pause, in which Adhira tried to think of a way out of the deal and failed miserabley.
“Off you go then,” piped up Teus, all false smiles.
“…Chup kar.”
---
“Alaster, look! Look!”
The lights! The music! The noise! The smells!
Timmy was as excited as any eight-year-old could be. Everything was bright and glowing, just like that city had been but even MORE so! It WAS like that city! It smelled like it too, all grimy and lived in, and there were No-Horse-Carriages again but they looked even smoother and sleeker than before and they were soooo cooooool! And the women were showing their legs! And, best of all, there was the ocean! At least Timmy thought it was, because he’d only read about it, but there was water and sand and people were swimming and playing games and things so it must be!
And when he looked up, there was nothing but stars.
Alaster was too busy lying in an alley to appreciate the spectacular sights of Eta Carina. It was struggling to remember something important, the last whisps of Tschichold’s hallucinogenic paint still clinging to its thought processes. It had been… had been… fighting. Yes, it had been fighting something. Someone? It couldn’t remember.
“Are… are you okay, Alaster?”
The Switzerman raised its head to observe Timothy. Concern was etched on the child’s features.
“What’s the matter? Did something happen?”
Drugged-up movie logic clashed against machine rules and won.
“Nothing Is Wrong.” Alaster sat up and ruffled Timmy’s hair with a gauntleted hand, electing a cry of pleased surprise. “The Magical Menace Has Been Defeated. We Are Safe Now.”
Yes. That made sense. They had defeated the enemy and this was their reward. The way movies ended. A happy scene in a resort that promised a life free of strife and combat. Judging by Timothy’s face, it could only be true.
“Alaster! There’s the ocean! I’ve never SEEN the ocean before! Can I go play? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeaaaase!”
“Of Course.”
Alaster pulled itself to its feet, took Timmy’s hand, and went off to its happy ending.
---
The wizards were currently busy being outraged at the fashion styles prevalent on Eta Carina. The women were practically nude! You could see their legs, sometimes up to the mid-thigh! And some of their clothing showed legs even when they were covered! One or two of the older wizards had fainted in horror. The younger wizards, however, were very much interested in the whole thing and kept trying to sneak glances.
Teus wasn’t attracted by the sights on offer. Fingers steelped again and cool demeanour returned, he observed the throng below and planned.
The tournament, event or whatever the suit had been a part of was on hiatus. That meant that the suit would not aggressively defend the child as much, but it also meant the other competitors would not seek it out to destroy it. That would make it easier to capture or destroy overall, as, judging by the culture of this “resort”, the native people would not respond negatively to the suit’s presence amongst them. However, it also posed the problem of eliminating the suit in the first place. The team he had sent had all failed miserably. That was why he had called in a specialist, of course, but he wasn’t going to honour an agreement with an animal, and he did not have high hopes for the Bandar-Log in any case. He needed a backup plan.
He cast his mind around for a short while, and found his backup plan.
He beckoned an aide to his side.
“I require the use of my private scrying glass.”
“Yes, my lord. Right away.”
---
Freefall hadn’t minded the bullets. Bullets were a triviality by now, a criminal’s way of saying hello. When you could make yourself harder than steel at will, bullets were least of your concerns.
She’d minded the tasers a lot, though.
This retreat was nice, though. It worked. The brief pause in the action before something dramatic happened, like in a comic. The last third of the issue and a half that was this episode in her life. It was so simple, when you thought about it. It was like people wanted to be slotted into stories and tropes, needed it even.
She was currently using the calm to patch herself up in a hotel bathroom, using a packet of the Gadgeteer’s special sealant to patch up the countless bullet holes in her suit. She desperately wanted to shower and clean off the dirt,
(the blood of the man she had killed, the person she had killed by accident)
but the suit would be harder to repair if she took it off, and like hell she was gonna fiddle around with this stupid thing. She had heroing to do. There would obviously be some crime happening somewhere, and even the peaceful resort of Eta Carmine would have a racket going on, or a mafia to take down. She wanted to keep her momentum going, after all.
(she wanted to go home she was so tired)
She was partway finished when a rush of black made her look up.
There was a tall, sallow-faced man clad in black robes behind her.
She whipped around and saw no-one.
“I’m over here, madam.”
Freefall turned back around. The man was still there, a smirk across his features.
“Oh, great, let me guess,” she said, an equal smirk forming, “this hotel is haunted and you’re a crazy spirit who’s gonna leap out of the mirror and murder me like in The Shining. What, Bloody Matthew, is it?”
The man sighed.
“No, I’m not an apparition,” he said. “I am-”
“Well what are you then? Maybe you’re some kind of reverse vampire? Like, you’re only visible in mirrors?” Freefall’s fist shot out and disproved her theory by hitting thin air.
“If you would let me finish, madam.”
Freefall lowered her arm like she’d meant to punch that bit of air anyway.
“My name is Teus,” continued the man. “I wish to talk to you about a walking suit of armour.”
Freefall frowned.
“What, the crazy Iron Giant and his pet wizard? Why are you so interested in them?”
“Because they are a danger to-” Teus suddenly smiled pleasantly. It didn’t suit him. “I’m sorry, I forgot to ask your name, Miss…”
“It’s Freefall to you.” She didn’t like this oily man. He fit the smug villain routine to a tee, inspiring a strong desire to punch him in the face.
“Very well then. Miss Freefall, the suit of armour is dangerous. It was designed to protect the child in a passive manner, but it has stolen that sword and suffered damage to its cognitive processes. It attacks everything in sight on the pretense of protecting the child, and if it is not stopped it will continue to kill, never satiated, until it falls apart or runs down. And it won’t do either of those for a long time yet.”
“And you’re asking me to stop it.”
“Of course. I have been observing this event for some time, and you are the most competent combatant present. You are more than capable of neutralising this threat.”
Freefall tried to prevent her ego from swelling. It was kind of true. She’d had the bucket of bolts on the ropes, and she would have finished him off too if stupid distractions hadn’t turned up. The authorities sure took their time getting the damn fight cancelled and all eight of them out of there - if they'd turned up sooner she wouldn't have had the joy of being tasered like a bad student protester.
(and maybe you wouldn’t have - )
Come on now, keep your cool.
“Flattery is cheap,” she retorted. “How can I trust you?”
Teus’ smile shrank a little.
“You would rather let more innocents die? Shame on you, Miss Freefall. I had hoped that you would live up to the reputation preceding you. I would loathe to be disappointed.”
Now that stung. She stood up, looking the false reflection in the eye.
“I’ll think about it.”
And then she gave in to her primal urges and punched him in the face.
---
Teus jerked back as the glass shattered on her end, and then smiled wanly and sat back in his chair.
“Impetuous child.”
Teus ignored the frantic bustle of the wizards, and looked down.
“Do we have an agreement?” he said in his oiliest voice.
In response, Adhira Bolar removed the cigarette from between his lips and blew a cloud of foul-smelling smoke.
“As if I have a choice, kutte ka awlat,” he retorted, shoving the dog-end back in his mouth.
Teus was reminded of why he hated the Bandar-Log.
Apparently, before the Nameless Horror, the Bandar-Log had been a proud, strong people. Images of towering ziggurats were often featured in the history texts. But you wouldn’t think that to look at them now. They were basically monkeys, and did nothing to change this.
Despite the fact that the one next to him was a neta, one of the wise orang-utans, he wasn’t representing his species very well. He smelt. The collage of clothing and straps and survival gear over his body smelt. Anything metal, like the slim barrel of his gas rifle, seemed to corrode in the ape’s presence. Teus also made a mental note to have Adhira hung for the insult – it was amazing how people didn’t think he understood Bandar, or any foreign language. Someone ought to wash this creature’s mouth out with soap.
“Oh come now, there’s always a choice,” he replied, turning his attention back to the scrying glass as the wizards tried to track down their target again.
Adhira snorted.
“Yeah? Do the job or hang, right? Wonderful choice.”
“I didn’t say it was a good choice. I just said you had one.”
The words “Program Cancelled” flashed up every so often on the scrying glass. Teus didn’t know what it meant. Not fully understanding the events before him felt wrong, and the past twenty minutes or so had left him understanding nothing. Who were these people? How did they acquire such powers? What was a “commercial?” If only he had something to use as a handle on these events.
The golem had killed a demon of some kind. It had also improvised, slathering hallucinogens on its memory crystal when the normal thought processes were insufficient. The wizards had spent hours poring over Archmage Yessic’s blueprints for the Switzerman, and still didn’t why or how, or what the container in its left wrist was, or why it needed an angelic being bound to its so-called “soul”.
Teus squashed the faint kernel of panic in his gut and spoke again.
“So we are agreed. You recover or destroy the suit, and in return you gain full Citizenship, a luxurious apartment in the high city, and a lifetime’s supply of-”
“Durians.”
Teus didn’t twitch.
“Of course.”
“Sorry to break it to you, but you’re a bakland if you think I’m agreeing to that,” added Adhira, unfolding a lever-like arm to gesture at the scrying glass. “I’m not going against a Vorpal weapon for just that. I want more. You’re paying for my shit for life on top of that, got that?”
Teus turned, and Adhira had the sudden, horrifying sensation of his skeleton trying to jump out of his body. This was because it was.
“I made no such arrangement,” said Teus, cold anger lurking behind his smooth tone.
Adhira decided that he preferred his bones on the inside.
“Right,” he grunted through the pain, “of course. Durians, home, citizenship. That’s fair.”
“Good.”
The pain went, and Adhira staggered into a more upright position.
“What about the child?” he managed to say.
“What about him?”
There was a pause, in which Adhira tried to think of a way out of the deal and failed miserabley.
“Off you go then,” piped up Teus, all false smiles.
“…Chup kar.”
---
“Alaster, look! Look!”
The lights! The music! The noise! The smells!
Timmy was as excited as any eight-year-old could be. Everything was bright and glowing, just like that city had been but even MORE so! It WAS like that city! It smelled like it too, all grimy and lived in, and there were No-Horse-Carriages again but they looked even smoother and sleeker than before and they were soooo cooooool! And the women were showing their legs! And, best of all, there was the ocean! At least Timmy thought it was, because he’d only read about it, but there was water and sand and people were swimming and playing games and things so it must be!
And when he looked up, there was nothing but stars.
Alaster was too busy lying in an alley to appreciate the spectacular sights of Eta Carina. It was struggling to remember something important, the last whisps of Tschichold’s hallucinogenic paint still clinging to its thought processes. It had been… had been… fighting. Yes, it had been fighting something. Someone? It couldn’t remember.
“Are… are you okay, Alaster?”
The Switzerman raised its head to observe Timothy. Concern was etched on the child’s features.
“What’s the matter? Did something happen?”
Drugged-up movie logic clashed against machine rules and won.
“Nothing Is Wrong.” Alaster sat up and ruffled Timmy’s hair with a gauntleted hand, electing a cry of pleased surprise. “The Magical Menace Has Been Defeated. We Are Safe Now.”
Yes. That made sense. They had defeated the enemy and this was their reward. The way movies ended. A happy scene in a resort that promised a life free of strife and combat. Judging by Timothy’s face, it could only be true.
“Alaster! There’s the ocean! I’ve never SEEN the ocean before! Can I go play? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeaaaase!”
“Of Course.”
Alaster pulled itself to its feet, took Timmy’s hand, and went off to its happy ending.
---
The wizards were currently busy being outraged at the fashion styles prevalent on Eta Carina. The women were practically nude! You could see their legs, sometimes up to the mid-thigh! And some of their clothing showed legs even when they were covered! One or two of the older wizards had fainted in horror. The younger wizards, however, were very much interested in the whole thing and kept trying to sneak glances.
Teus wasn’t attracted by the sights on offer. Fingers steelped again and cool demeanour returned, he observed the throng below and planned.
The tournament, event or whatever the suit had been a part of was on hiatus. That meant that the suit would not aggressively defend the child as much, but it also meant the other competitors would not seek it out to destroy it. That would make it easier to capture or destroy overall, as, judging by the culture of this “resort”, the native people would not respond negatively to the suit’s presence amongst them. However, it also posed the problem of eliminating the suit in the first place. The team he had sent had all failed miserably. That was why he had called in a specialist, of course, but he wasn’t going to honour an agreement with an animal, and he did not have high hopes for the Bandar-Log in any case. He needed a backup plan.
He cast his mind around for a short while, and found his backup plan.
He beckoned an aide to his side.
“I require the use of my private scrying glass.”
“Yes, my lord. Right away.”
---
Freefall hadn’t minded the bullets. Bullets were a triviality by now, a criminal’s way of saying hello. When you could make yourself harder than steel at will, bullets were least of your concerns.
She’d minded the tasers a lot, though.
This retreat was nice, though. It worked. The brief pause in the action before something dramatic happened, like in a comic. The last third of the issue and a half that was this episode in her life. It was so simple, when you thought about it. It was like people wanted to be slotted into stories and tropes, needed it even.
She was currently using the calm to patch herself up in a hotel bathroom, using a packet of the Gadgeteer’s special sealant to patch up the countless bullet holes in her suit. She desperately wanted to shower and clean off the dirt,
(the blood of the man she had killed, the person she had killed by accident)
but the suit would be harder to repair if she took it off, and like hell she was gonna fiddle around with this stupid thing. She had heroing to do. There would obviously be some crime happening somewhere, and even the peaceful resort of Eta Carmine would have a racket going on, or a mafia to take down. She wanted to keep her momentum going, after all.
(she wanted to go home she was so tired)
She was partway finished when a rush of black made her look up.
There was a tall, sallow-faced man clad in black robes behind her.
She whipped around and saw no-one.
“I’m over here, madam.”
Freefall turned back around. The man was still there, a smirk across his features.
“Oh, great, let me guess,” she said, an equal smirk forming, “this hotel is haunted and you’re a crazy spirit who’s gonna leap out of the mirror and murder me like in The Shining. What, Bloody Matthew, is it?”
The man sighed.
“No, I’m not an apparition,” he said. “I am-”
“Well what are you then? Maybe you’re some kind of reverse vampire? Like, you’re only visible in mirrors?” Freefall’s fist shot out and disproved her theory by hitting thin air.
“If you would let me finish, madam.”
Freefall lowered her arm like she’d meant to punch that bit of air anyway.
“My name is Teus,” continued the man. “I wish to talk to you about a walking suit of armour.”
Freefall frowned.
“What, the crazy Iron Giant and his pet wizard? Why are you so interested in them?”
“Because they are a danger to-” Teus suddenly smiled pleasantly. It didn’t suit him. “I’m sorry, I forgot to ask your name, Miss…”
“It’s Freefall to you.” She didn’t like this oily man. He fit the smug villain routine to a tee, inspiring a strong desire to punch him in the face.
“Very well then. Miss Freefall, the suit of armour is dangerous. It was designed to protect the child in a passive manner, but it has stolen that sword and suffered damage to its cognitive processes. It attacks everything in sight on the pretense of protecting the child, and if it is not stopped it will continue to kill, never satiated, until it falls apart or runs down. And it won’t do either of those for a long time yet.”
“And you’re asking me to stop it.”
“Of course. I have been observing this event for some time, and you are the most competent combatant present. You are more than capable of neutralising this threat.”
Freefall tried to prevent her ego from swelling. It was kind of true. She’d had the bucket of bolts on the ropes, and she would have finished him off too if stupid distractions hadn’t turned up. The authorities sure took their time getting the damn fight cancelled and all eight of them out of there - if they'd turned up sooner she wouldn't have had the joy of being tasered like a bad student protester.
(and maybe you wouldn’t have - )
Come on now, keep your cool.
“Flattery is cheap,” she retorted. “How can I trust you?”
Teus’ smile shrank a little.
“You would rather let more innocents die? Shame on you, Miss Freefall. I had hoped that you would live up to the reputation preceding you. I would loathe to be disappointed.”
Now that stung. She stood up, looking the false reflection in the eye.
“I’ll think about it.”
And then she gave in to her primal urges and punched him in the face.
---
Teus jerked back as the glass shattered on her end, and then smiled wanly and sat back in his chair.
“Impetuous child.”