Re: LAST. THING. STANDING. [S!1][ROUND ONE: TELEVISION LAND]
02-04-2012, 09:49 PM
Originally posted on MSPA by Sanzh.
"So, let me get this straight. You want me to carry this crate?" Freefall motioned towards the container in question, an exceptionally large cargo container that was likely to only just barely be within Freefall's lifting capacity.
"Correct."
"...Why, exactly, am I doing this?"
Kriok paused for a moment, her processors silently computing an answer that could be understood-- or at least, seemed believable enough. The avian didn't want to spend any more time than necessary with this psychopathic thug, and saddling her with extra weight would hopefully help the alien in losing her once they left this cargo bay-- maybe the police she was evading would catch up to her, or one of the other contestants. Even the undead abomination seemed safer-- he was clear-cut with his motivations, not this jumbled assortment of contradictory ideals.
"I am improvising a solution to the energy problem. The components in there can be converted into an energy collection grid and from there linked to a smaller reacto--"
"Yeah, yeah. Look, that science crap is good and all, but maybe instead of doing whatever the hell it is you're planning, you could just fix my communicator. It uses quantum entangle-whatever, 's bound to be better than whatever it is you've got planned." She held out the device, extending it to Kriok.
While Kriok was more than happy to enumerate to Freefall the myriad ways in which her proposal was flawed, exercising restraint around her was more likely to achieve results. She examined the communicator, rotating it around and removing its hardened plastic casing. True to what Freefall said, there was the hardware necessary to recieve and transmit quantum signals-- working alongside primitive silicon processors. She re-sealed the communicator, returning it to its casing.
"...Well?"
"It's not going to work, not without significant alterations. I can modulate it to theoretically work between universes, but--"
"But that'd require a lot of juice. Great." Freefall leaned against one of the crates, an enormous shipping container. She folded her arms, watching the avian.
"Hang on, just why can't you set up the energy thingy here? It can't take that long. You do that, I call my team, we all go home. Isn't that way simpler?"
Kriok did not approve of this idea, but stopped herself from decrying it. If Freefall's team bore any similarity to the hero-- which, in absence of prevalent data to suggest otherwise, seemed to be the case-- then bringing in however many other violent cutthroats was something to avoid.
"No. I'm not bringing your team into this." Her refusal was unambiguously blunt.
Freefall tilted her head at Kriok's refusal. Evidently, some coercion would be needed to sway the alien.
"Well then, I guess we'll be here for a while, seeing as I'm the only one with enough strength to open up the exit. 'Course, you know, helping out sure would make things go a bit faster."
It wasn't exactly the smoothest threat, nor the best way to secure a long-lasting alliance, Freefall noted to herself, but she needed some way of getting what she was after. She liked to think that she'd picked up something from overhearing Ace's business agreements and meetings. Hopefully, the alien would pick up that her cooperation wasn't something in question.
Kriok didn't deem Freefall's threat as being worth a response, and instead went back to managing her fabricator's subsystems. Her plan had been to store important materials in some usable form, then convert them into another component when she had acquired a more permanent stronghold. Freefall's ultimatum gave her an exceptionally strong idea as to just what it was she would store the components as.
She grabbed a few more of the bulky ship components, shoving them into the fabricator's operating area. Her mind pulled up the automated processes for managing the fabricator, loaded a blueprint, and began to work. Kriok watched as the machinery pulled the components apart, rapidly picking apart individual atoms while simultaneously working to reconstitute them into her new tool. As it finished, she pulled out the tool-- a bulky, squat device that resembled something of a cross between several construction tools and a particle accelerator. She grabbed the power cell from her thigh satchel, inelegantly slotting it into the device.
Freefall stopped leaning against the wall, suddenly taking note of Kriok's new acquisition. "Uh, what are you doing? What did you just make?"
"A kinetic booster device, stripped of relevant safeties." The comment was given without much regard as Kriok began an irate stride to the sealed door. She stopped, leveling the device and letting it begin its charge cycle.
"...The hell is stripped of relevant safeties supposed to me--"
The device discharged, firing a barely-visible blast of kinetic force towards the door. As the blast connected, the door strained to remain anchored, before finally giving up and disconnecting entirely and landing with a tremendous thud. Kriok surveyed the damage-- the broken hydraulics meant to control the door hissed and whined, and electrical wires needlessly connected to the door sparked with electricity. After briefly pausing to let the metaphorical dust-- that was one thing they had gotten right, Kriok remarked to herself, the vessel was completely sterile and lacked any grime-- settle, she continued her stride.
Freefall quickly followed-- she wasn't going to let Kriok get away when the avian could still help her out, and definitely wasn't going to let her get away with whatever that device is. "Hey, Kriok, settle down. Just what are you after here?"
Kriok's pace was only barely slowed by Freefall's question. "I'm retrieving whatever observational data this vessel has, then I'm leaving."
"Yeah, uh, it doesn't work like that, Kriok. You're probably going to find all of the televisions smashed or covered or static or whatever, can't leave until you have a final confrontation and beat up the leader."
"Yes, that seems to be a persistent point amongst your notions."
"The hell is that supposed to mean?"
Freefall waited for a response. When none seemed to be forthcoming, she took measures into her own hands and moved in front of Kriok, intercepting the alien.
"Okay, look, Kriok. If we want to get through this, you can't just run off doing whatever it is you're doing right now. If we split up one of us is going to get trapped or confronted, and maybe first couple of times the other one will come in at the right moment and bail the other out, but that doesn't work every time, okay? Look, can you just stick with me? I know what I'm doing here."
"...Have you ever considered basing your world view on something other than genre conventions?"
Freefall pointedly ignored the avian's comment. "...Is trust one of those things your species is incapable of? Like, just one of those things your mind can't handle?"
"It is not something I have much of to offer, not when my life is at risk."
"Yeah, well--"
"There they are!"
Despite the shuttles being packed solely with operatives of Copyright Central, somehow an intrepid reporter had managed to get aboard the vessel. In lieu of a cameraman, a floating drone accompanied him, modified to handle a multitude of cameras and other broadcasting equipment. As he walked towards the two, he flicked out a comb, straightening out his hair before returning the comb to one of his many pockets. He straightened his suit, and beamed his impeccable smile as he finished his approach.
"Wesley Cockburn, MediaPolitics News. I'm here today with two very special guests-- with me today are Freefall and Kriok. Freefall, what is your evaluation of the ESS Pyreness and the success of its five-year mission to root out piracy in this quadrant?"
While Freefall didn't exactly have the highest opinion of reporters-- the bastards tended to worm their way into anything and found any number of ways to make crime-fighting that much harder-- she was technically obligated to handle the press to the best of her ability. "Uh, our mission is goin--"
"We'll get back to that. Kriok, how does it feel to be the last of your species? What are your opinions of your status as a minority in the Earth Republic?"
Kriok scowled for a moment, then decided that her time would be better spent not pandering to this channel's inane demands. As the reporter waited for an answer, she left.
"A shocking testament to the truths of cultural conventions. Back to you, Freefall-- tell us about Admiral Huxley-- one of the most famous members of the Earth Republic Navy, our viewers will recall."
Freefall silently fumed, wishing that the conventions she had to obey had some statutes about punching out annoying journalists, and not having to pander to their every question.
As Freefall dealt with the journalist, Kriok kept walking, following the map she had downloaded to attempt to find what she was after. While she privately thought that the ship wouldn't have any worthwhile information, three encounters with the static was enough to risk trying to find something that would illuminate just what exactly was pursuing her.
Kriok stopped, having found the engineering section of the ship. The centralizing of an expansive part of the ship's function into a single room with no redundant back-ups and fail-safes was another poor design choice, but not one she was going to let herself be bothered by-- not when she had a clear objective.
She entered, immediately noting the wall-mounted television panel amongst the multitude of control panels. At one of the panels was one of the crew-members-- were it not for the grey skin crudely stretched over a robot chassis and the exposed robotic parts, he would look human.
"Crivvens, lass, ye shuid'nae be here. Not when thare out lookin' fer ye. Weren't fer me programming, I'd hae ta be oot thare meself."
"...Did they also deliberately program a separate lexicon?"
"Aye, but that isna the short o' it." The android, rather than fully answering Kriok's question, instead moved on to its own predicament, pulling up several holographic illustrations and diagnostics.
"Y'see, after thaim stotious louts barged 'n an wrecked the airt, we hae been on a collision course wi the nebula-- an thanks ta those bloomin idiots, I dinnae hae access ta the impulse engines."
Kriok made an exaggerated display of exasperation. While the technical challenge the android had proposed was nothing she would have any difficulty with-- and she was more than happy to be engaged in something unrelated to struggling to stay alive-- it felt demeaning. She examined the diagnostics, her partitioned processors analyzing each read-out.
"Have you attempted a manual course adjustment?"
"Whit, ye want me ta eyeball i--"
"Are you implying that you don't have enough processing capacity for that task?"
"...Ye ken, I cuid utilize a reciprocating harmonic effect ta neutralize the vessel's trajectory..."
Kriok was dumb-founded by the utter nonsense the android had just spewed. "Or you could bypass that entirely and just modify the controls here to act as a direct interface, adjusting course that way."
"Leuk, all I need ta do is properly modulate this an we'll--"
The engineer's thought was cut short by a pistol round, leaving the android's head a barely-recognizable collection of circuits and wiring. Another shot smashed into the television panel, ruining Kriok's chance of an expeditious retreat.
"Hello again, Kriok."
Kriok stared back at Winston, watching him angle around the room, his retinue of riot police menacingly blocking the exits.
"It's been a while, hasn't it? You've had a lot of time to go off on your own, to cavort with locals, to avoid judgment for your crime. You thought you could murder my partner and get away with it, didn't you?"
"I was presented with no other option."
"Oh, sure, so you immediately jump to fighting your way out. No negotiation, no explanation of how you got here, just cutting to the chase and impaling a spike in a man's chest cavity."
Winston took Kriok's silence as a lack of a response, and continued his monologue.
"I learned a lot about you while you were gone, Kriok. The capabilities of your technology-- your arm in particular is quite impressive. Not to mention that you're the last of your kind-- there won't be anyone who will miss you, Kriok."
Kriok took note of the tonal shift, reflexively tightening her grip on the kinetic booster device.
"Do you know what we're going to do, Kriok? Do you know what I'm going to do to you for killing my partner? I'm going to find out just how all that technology works-- your arm, the power core on your back, your mechanical organs. We'll dissect you piece by piece, leave you with nothing but that computer core you call a brain, let you compute digits of pi or whatever it is you abominations do."
"Death is too good for you, Kriok. You'll be with us for a lon--hurk
Freefall's fist slammed into Agent Winston, her soaring jump into the room having worked as well as she hoped. His retinue opened fire, spraying her with an ineffective fusillade of bullets that harmlessly plinked off of her dense body. As they struggled to reload, she leapt back, elbowing both of them and crashing them against the wall they stood by.
"Ha, love it when you catch 'em monologuing. Nothing quite like popping a guy as they stroke their ego. Anyway, Kriok, this is exactly what I meant about splitting. You got damn lucky that I wriggled out of dealing with that report-- you're not listening to me, are you."
The avian, rather than responding, chose to drag Winston's body, propping him against a wall.
Freefall realized a half-second too late what Kriok was doing, just as the pulse of kinetic energy smashed against the agent. She blinked. Winston's body was thoroughly pulverized.
"You... killed him. After I specifically told you not to kill anyone."
"He was a threat."
"Damnit, Crackbird!" Freefall slammed a fist against a control panel, intentionally adding some dramatic emphasis. "It doesn't matter if he's a goddamn giant space caterpillar, you don't just kill someone!"
"I don't think you understand something."
"Oh? What don't I get?"
"That my concern is survival. I will do whatever it takes to make sure I get through this alive. I'm not going to let universes full of cheering onlookers revel in my death. I will get through this alive, and if that means killing to remove a threat, so be it. But I am not going to put myself in unnecessary danger for no reason, as you seem to do."
"Ha, well, we'll see how long that lasts, Kriok. Because the next time you get ambushed like this, you're on your own."
Kriok smirked, as best she could with a face partially constructed out of metal. "And, tell me, how do you plan to fix your communicator? How, exactly, do you plan to adapt to changing environments? What happens when your plan falls apart? You seem to be assuming that I'm the one dependent on your help."
"Sure, if you call walking into an ambush like a chump not needing my help. Face it, Kriok, if you want to make it through this you're gonna have to listen to m--"
The argument between the two stopped as one of the doors whirred open.
"Oh, good, I found the two of you! Listen, we need to get out of here, the ship's been taken over and they're looking for you. They've got the entire crew searching for you, not to mention all of the soldiers that on board."
"I see no point in staying further." Kriok responded.
Freefall clenched her fist. "Alright, let's scram. But don't think you're off the hook, Kriok."
Maria smiled, glad to have found both of them. "Alright, I saw a television on this level, let's get out of here. She began to leave, with both the alien and Freefall following her-- Maria tried not to notice the occasional scowls and glares they gave each other, that would have to wait.
"Freeze!"
Numerous security personnel filled one end of the hallway, pointing an assortment of weapons at the three contestants.
"By order of Copyright Central, you are under arrest for copyright infringement. Put down your equipment and surrender, or we will open fire."
"Yo, dorks! Your dumb copyright stuff? As if!"
The security on-board the ESS Pyreness were trained for any number of situations: negative space anomalies, boarding parties, teleporter malfunctions; whatever the situation was, they had at least had some experience with it.
However, they had never expected anthropomorphic spider women to careen out of a room, mounted on skateboards and zooming towards them. The spiders almost immediately collided with the line formed by the security teams, their robotic carapaces gleaming as the animated creatures began to fight.
"Juliet, get these dudettes out of here!"
Freefall had managed to extricate herself in the initial chaos, and could only watch as both Maria and Kriok were grabbed by one of the spiders and hurled into a television-- one broadcasting an old, Eighties-era cartoon.
As Kriok sailed towards the portal, she could only wonder just how else this universe could be more impossible.
"So, let me get this straight. You want me to carry this crate?" Freefall motioned towards the container in question, an exceptionally large cargo container that was likely to only just barely be within Freefall's lifting capacity.
"Correct."
"...Why, exactly, am I doing this?"
Kriok paused for a moment, her processors silently computing an answer that could be understood-- or at least, seemed believable enough. The avian didn't want to spend any more time than necessary with this psychopathic thug, and saddling her with extra weight would hopefully help the alien in losing her once they left this cargo bay-- maybe the police she was evading would catch up to her, or one of the other contestants. Even the undead abomination seemed safer-- he was clear-cut with his motivations, not this jumbled assortment of contradictory ideals.
"I am improvising a solution to the energy problem. The components in there can be converted into an energy collection grid and from there linked to a smaller reacto--"
"Yeah, yeah. Look, that science crap is good and all, but maybe instead of doing whatever the hell it is you're planning, you could just fix my communicator. It uses quantum entangle-whatever, 's bound to be better than whatever it is you've got planned." She held out the device, extending it to Kriok.
While Kriok was more than happy to enumerate to Freefall the myriad ways in which her proposal was flawed, exercising restraint around her was more likely to achieve results. She examined the communicator, rotating it around and removing its hardened plastic casing. True to what Freefall said, there was the hardware necessary to recieve and transmit quantum signals-- working alongside primitive silicon processors. She re-sealed the communicator, returning it to its casing.
"...Well?"
"It's not going to work, not without significant alterations. I can modulate it to theoretically work between universes, but--"
"But that'd require a lot of juice. Great." Freefall leaned against one of the crates, an enormous shipping container. She folded her arms, watching the avian.
"Hang on, just why can't you set up the energy thingy here? It can't take that long. You do that, I call my team, we all go home. Isn't that way simpler?"
Kriok did not approve of this idea, but stopped herself from decrying it. If Freefall's team bore any similarity to the hero-- which, in absence of prevalent data to suggest otherwise, seemed to be the case-- then bringing in however many other violent cutthroats was something to avoid.
"No. I'm not bringing your team into this." Her refusal was unambiguously blunt.
Freefall tilted her head at Kriok's refusal. Evidently, some coercion would be needed to sway the alien.
"Well then, I guess we'll be here for a while, seeing as I'm the only one with enough strength to open up the exit. 'Course, you know, helping out sure would make things go a bit faster."
It wasn't exactly the smoothest threat, nor the best way to secure a long-lasting alliance, Freefall noted to herself, but she needed some way of getting what she was after. She liked to think that she'd picked up something from overhearing Ace's business agreements and meetings. Hopefully, the alien would pick up that her cooperation wasn't something in question.
Kriok didn't deem Freefall's threat as being worth a response, and instead went back to managing her fabricator's subsystems. Her plan had been to store important materials in some usable form, then convert them into another component when she had acquired a more permanent stronghold. Freefall's ultimatum gave her an exceptionally strong idea as to just what it was she would store the components as.
She grabbed a few more of the bulky ship components, shoving them into the fabricator's operating area. Her mind pulled up the automated processes for managing the fabricator, loaded a blueprint, and began to work. Kriok watched as the machinery pulled the components apart, rapidly picking apart individual atoms while simultaneously working to reconstitute them into her new tool. As it finished, she pulled out the tool-- a bulky, squat device that resembled something of a cross between several construction tools and a particle accelerator. She grabbed the power cell from her thigh satchel, inelegantly slotting it into the device.
Freefall stopped leaning against the wall, suddenly taking note of Kriok's new acquisition. "Uh, what are you doing? What did you just make?"
"A kinetic booster device, stripped of relevant safeties." The comment was given without much regard as Kriok began an irate stride to the sealed door. She stopped, leveling the device and letting it begin its charge cycle.
"...The hell is stripped of relevant safeties supposed to me--"
The device discharged, firing a barely-visible blast of kinetic force towards the door. As the blast connected, the door strained to remain anchored, before finally giving up and disconnecting entirely and landing with a tremendous thud. Kriok surveyed the damage-- the broken hydraulics meant to control the door hissed and whined, and electrical wires needlessly connected to the door sparked with electricity. After briefly pausing to let the metaphorical dust-- that was one thing they had gotten right, Kriok remarked to herself, the vessel was completely sterile and lacked any grime-- settle, she continued her stride.
Freefall quickly followed-- she wasn't going to let Kriok get away when the avian could still help her out, and definitely wasn't going to let her get away with whatever that device is. "Hey, Kriok, settle down. Just what are you after here?"
Kriok's pace was only barely slowed by Freefall's question. "I'm retrieving whatever observational data this vessel has, then I'm leaving."
"Yeah, uh, it doesn't work like that, Kriok. You're probably going to find all of the televisions smashed or covered or static or whatever, can't leave until you have a final confrontation and beat up the leader."
"Yes, that seems to be a persistent point amongst your notions."
"The hell is that supposed to mean?"
Freefall waited for a response. When none seemed to be forthcoming, she took measures into her own hands and moved in front of Kriok, intercepting the alien.
"Okay, look, Kriok. If we want to get through this, you can't just run off doing whatever it is you're doing right now. If we split up one of us is going to get trapped or confronted, and maybe first couple of times the other one will come in at the right moment and bail the other out, but that doesn't work every time, okay? Look, can you just stick with me? I know what I'm doing here."
"...Have you ever considered basing your world view on something other than genre conventions?"
Freefall pointedly ignored the avian's comment. "...Is trust one of those things your species is incapable of? Like, just one of those things your mind can't handle?"
"It is not something I have much of to offer, not when my life is at risk."
"Yeah, well--"
"There they are!"
Despite the shuttles being packed solely with operatives of Copyright Central, somehow an intrepid reporter had managed to get aboard the vessel. In lieu of a cameraman, a floating drone accompanied him, modified to handle a multitude of cameras and other broadcasting equipment. As he walked towards the two, he flicked out a comb, straightening out his hair before returning the comb to one of his many pockets. He straightened his suit, and beamed his impeccable smile as he finished his approach.
"Wesley Cockburn, MediaPolitics News. I'm here today with two very special guests-- with me today are Freefall and Kriok. Freefall, what is your evaluation of the ESS Pyreness and the success of its five-year mission to root out piracy in this quadrant?"
While Freefall didn't exactly have the highest opinion of reporters-- the bastards tended to worm their way into anything and found any number of ways to make crime-fighting that much harder-- she was technically obligated to handle the press to the best of her ability. "Uh, our mission is goin--"
"We'll get back to that. Kriok, how does it feel to be the last of your species? What are your opinions of your status as a minority in the Earth Republic?"
Kriok scowled for a moment, then decided that her time would be better spent not pandering to this channel's inane demands. As the reporter waited for an answer, she left.
"A shocking testament to the truths of cultural conventions. Back to you, Freefall-- tell us about Admiral Huxley-- one of the most famous members of the Earth Republic Navy, our viewers will recall."
Freefall silently fumed, wishing that the conventions she had to obey had some statutes about punching out annoying journalists, and not having to pander to their every question.
As Freefall dealt with the journalist, Kriok kept walking, following the map she had downloaded to attempt to find what she was after. While she privately thought that the ship wouldn't have any worthwhile information, three encounters with the static was enough to risk trying to find something that would illuminate just what exactly was pursuing her.
Kriok stopped, having found the engineering section of the ship. The centralizing of an expansive part of the ship's function into a single room with no redundant back-ups and fail-safes was another poor design choice, but not one she was going to let herself be bothered by-- not when she had a clear objective.
She entered, immediately noting the wall-mounted television panel amongst the multitude of control panels. At one of the panels was one of the crew-members-- were it not for the grey skin crudely stretched over a robot chassis and the exposed robotic parts, he would look human.
"Crivvens, lass, ye shuid'nae be here. Not when thare out lookin' fer ye. Weren't fer me programming, I'd hae ta be oot thare meself."
"...Did they also deliberately program a separate lexicon?"
"Aye, but that isna the short o' it." The android, rather than fully answering Kriok's question, instead moved on to its own predicament, pulling up several holographic illustrations and diagnostics.
"Y'see, after thaim stotious louts barged 'n an wrecked the airt, we hae been on a collision course wi the nebula-- an thanks ta those bloomin idiots, I dinnae hae access ta the impulse engines."
Kriok made an exaggerated display of exasperation. While the technical challenge the android had proposed was nothing she would have any difficulty with-- and she was more than happy to be engaged in something unrelated to struggling to stay alive-- it felt demeaning. She examined the diagnostics, her partitioned processors analyzing each read-out.
"Have you attempted a manual course adjustment?"
"Whit, ye want me ta eyeball i--"
"Are you implying that you don't have enough processing capacity for that task?"
"...Ye ken, I cuid utilize a reciprocating harmonic effect ta neutralize the vessel's trajectory..."
Kriok was dumb-founded by the utter nonsense the android had just spewed. "Or you could bypass that entirely and just modify the controls here to act as a direct interface, adjusting course that way."
"Leuk, all I need ta do is properly modulate this an we'll--"
The engineer's thought was cut short by a pistol round, leaving the android's head a barely-recognizable collection of circuits and wiring. Another shot smashed into the television panel, ruining Kriok's chance of an expeditious retreat.
"Hello again, Kriok."
Kriok stared back at Winston, watching him angle around the room, his retinue of riot police menacingly blocking the exits.
"It's been a while, hasn't it? You've had a lot of time to go off on your own, to cavort with locals, to avoid judgment for your crime. You thought you could murder my partner and get away with it, didn't you?"
"I was presented with no other option."
"Oh, sure, so you immediately jump to fighting your way out. No negotiation, no explanation of how you got here, just cutting to the chase and impaling a spike in a man's chest cavity."
Winston took Kriok's silence as a lack of a response, and continued his monologue.
"I learned a lot about you while you were gone, Kriok. The capabilities of your technology-- your arm in particular is quite impressive. Not to mention that you're the last of your kind-- there won't be anyone who will miss you, Kriok."
Kriok took note of the tonal shift, reflexively tightening her grip on the kinetic booster device.
"Do you know what we're going to do, Kriok? Do you know what I'm going to do to you for killing my partner? I'm going to find out just how all that technology works-- your arm, the power core on your back, your mechanical organs. We'll dissect you piece by piece, leave you with nothing but that computer core you call a brain, let you compute digits of pi or whatever it is you abominations do."
"Death is too good for you, Kriok. You'll be with us for a lon--hurk
Freefall's fist slammed into Agent Winston, her soaring jump into the room having worked as well as she hoped. His retinue opened fire, spraying her with an ineffective fusillade of bullets that harmlessly plinked off of her dense body. As they struggled to reload, she leapt back, elbowing both of them and crashing them against the wall they stood by.
"Ha, love it when you catch 'em monologuing. Nothing quite like popping a guy as they stroke their ego. Anyway, Kriok, this is exactly what I meant about splitting. You got damn lucky that I wriggled out of dealing with that report-- you're not listening to me, are you."
The avian, rather than responding, chose to drag Winston's body, propping him against a wall.
Freefall realized a half-second too late what Kriok was doing, just as the pulse of kinetic energy smashed against the agent. She blinked. Winston's body was thoroughly pulverized.
"You... killed him. After I specifically told you not to kill anyone."
"He was a threat."
"Damnit, Crackbird!" Freefall slammed a fist against a control panel, intentionally adding some dramatic emphasis. "It doesn't matter if he's a goddamn giant space caterpillar, you don't just kill someone!"
"I don't think you understand something."
"Oh? What don't I get?"
"That my concern is survival. I will do whatever it takes to make sure I get through this alive. I'm not going to let universes full of cheering onlookers revel in my death. I will get through this alive, and if that means killing to remove a threat, so be it. But I am not going to put myself in unnecessary danger for no reason, as you seem to do."
"Ha, well, we'll see how long that lasts, Kriok. Because the next time you get ambushed like this, you're on your own."
Kriok smirked, as best she could with a face partially constructed out of metal. "And, tell me, how do you plan to fix your communicator? How, exactly, do you plan to adapt to changing environments? What happens when your plan falls apart? You seem to be assuming that I'm the one dependent on your help."
"Sure, if you call walking into an ambush like a chump not needing my help. Face it, Kriok, if you want to make it through this you're gonna have to listen to m--"
The argument between the two stopped as one of the doors whirred open.
"Oh, good, I found the two of you! Listen, we need to get out of here, the ship's been taken over and they're looking for you. They've got the entire crew searching for you, not to mention all of the soldiers that on board."
"I see no point in staying further." Kriok responded.
Freefall clenched her fist. "Alright, let's scram. But don't think you're off the hook, Kriok."
Maria smiled, glad to have found both of them. "Alright, I saw a television on this level, let's get out of here. She began to leave, with both the alien and Freefall following her-- Maria tried not to notice the occasional scowls and glares they gave each other, that would have to wait.
"Freeze!"
Numerous security personnel filled one end of the hallway, pointing an assortment of weapons at the three contestants.
"By order of Copyright Central, you are under arrest for copyright infringement. Put down your equipment and surrender, or we will open fire."
"Yo, dorks! Your dumb copyright stuff? As if!"
The security on-board the ESS Pyreness were trained for any number of situations: negative space anomalies, boarding parties, teleporter malfunctions; whatever the situation was, they had at least had some experience with it.
However, they had never expected anthropomorphic spider women to careen out of a room, mounted on skateboards and zooming towards them. The spiders almost immediately collided with the line formed by the security teams, their robotic carapaces gleaming as the animated creatures began to fight.
"Juliet, get these dudettes out of here!"
Freefall had managed to extricate herself in the initial chaos, and could only watch as both Maria and Kriok were grabbed by one of the spiders and hurled into a television-- one broadcasting an old, Eighties-era cartoon.
As Kriok sailed towards the portal, she could only wonder just how else this universe could be more impossible.