THIS PROGRAM HAS BEEN CANCELED [S!1][ROUND THREE: PORT CERIDWEN]

Originally posted on MSPA by Pick Yer Poison.

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Aaron, put that thing down right now! Change had adopted a demanding tone, with just a hint of panic, and it ground on Aaron's nerves.

"Fine!" Aaron tossed Nizzo at Change, who was too stunned to dodge.

Nizzo instinctively wrapped his tentacles tightly around the group-of-thin-things he sensed coming towards him. It felt like he was in a current-that-goes-fast, except that he felt much heavier, and he couldn't swim. A dim memory, just after his own hatching-of-the-egg, surfaced, and he realized dimly that he must be on land somehow.

Hey! Aaron! Get this thing off me! Change swooped up and down, trying to break Nizzo's grip, but to no avail. If anything, it only worsened the situation, as Nizzo panicked even further and wrapped his tentacles tighter around Change. Get offa me, you...you monster...thing!

Aaron was beginning to be a little frightened by the proceedings. What if Nizzo really was dangerous? What if it hurt Change? What if the Transaction was right about it after all?

Nizzo felt a bit overwhelmed with the multitude of thoughts converging on him. This-ambiguous-one-of-art was broadcasting its desire to paint all over Aaron, a concept which Nizzo was not familiar with. Colors were a mystery to him. This-male-one-of-riches was becoming more and more open and broadcasting more and more in his panic, until suddenly Nizzo was confronted with something he had never experienced before - for a single moment, he saw, through Aaron's eyes. Unable to interpret the shapes and colors he was presented with, he fled fearfully from Aaron's mind, the shock of the visual world too much for him to handle. His grip loosened on Change and he fell to the floor, where he wriggled his tentacles weakly in fear and confusion.

Aaron clutched his forehead. Just before Nizzo had fallen off Change, he had felt the strangest link between him and Nizzo - even closer than the one he had with Change. It had only been for a moment, but in that moment, not only had Nizzo been able to see what he saw, he had been able to see what Nizzo "saw" as well.

An unintelligible mass of blurry, frightening, and constantly shifting and warping shapes pieced together from vibrations felt through the air.

Aaron reached down and gingerly picked up Nizzo, who curled his tentacles around his arms lightly. He felt the jellyfish tentatively send him a message - the impression of friendship linked with the impression of a question. He nodded, then remembered Nizzo couldn't see that. Sure, he thought.

Aaron, what the hell do you think you're--LOOK OUT! Tschichold, about to start slathering Aaron with paint, was instead rewarded with a facefull of cash. Normally he wouldn't consider this a bad thing - he was a starving artist, after all - but money be damned, he had ART to complete! Aaron, get to the television. I think we've overstayed our welcome. We can talk about your choice of...companions later.

Aaron nodded his assent and moved over to the television, flicking through the channels. Any preference?

Tchichold managed to throw Change off himself and splashed it with navy blue ink, ruining the value of a lot of the bills composing its form. Change plummeted downwards as his worth dropped, and half hovered, half bounced back towards the television. I don't really care, but please hurry.

Aaron stopped changing channels on the one he happened to be on, which showed a field with some people running around haphazardly on it. This one looks good, let's go! Without hesitating, he scooped up Change from the floor and jumped through the television screen, Tschichold following close behind to correct the art travesty fleeing from him.

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"Well, sports fans, looks like another wonderful day for this game of Blipball! The sun is shining, the birds are singing, there isn't a cloud in the sky, and the highly expensive and only mildly irradiated weather machine is doing an excellent job of keeping both the real weather and the real birds away from the stadium!"

"I'll say, Jim. The players are already out on the field running warm-up exercises - they sure look excited about the game to me!"

"Can't argue with you there, Jeff - whoah! The ref's decided to take advantage of the Surprise Start rule! The ball's in play now!"

"Excellent catch by Mike "Fifteen Flipping Hands" Willston! Looks like all that genetic modification paid off after all!"

"True, but was it worth the cost he's had to pay in terms of functional argyle sweaters? Viewers, call the number on your screen now and tell us what you think! We'll have those votes tallied for you later in the program."

"What on earth - did that television sitting on the bench just vomit a homeless man in robes holding a jellyfish?"

"No, that's not just you, I saw it too! I wonder if this means the jellyfish is going to be in play early this game?"

"Whoah, looks like the players have decided so! I hope that robed hobo can stand the blitz of a dozen seasoned Blipball players!"

"What in the name of - am I seeing this right? Jeff, are you seeing this too?"

"Lord in heaven, did a gold brick splotched with navy blue paint just rocket out of that television set and hit one of the Blipball players?"

"I thought I'd forgotten to take my medicine this morning for a minute!"

"Uh, Jim..."

"Whoops! Right. Forgot I'm not supposed to talk about that anymore. Won't happen again."

"Anyway, this is a most interesting turn of events. The ref seems to be coming over to declare an official ruling."

"HAYSOOS CHRIST!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID THAT PAINTER JUST JUMP OUT OF THAT TELEVISION AND DO!?"

"This is the most illegal thing I have EVER seen! I can't tear my eyes away!"

"Oh my dog, look at all that red paint. LOOK AT IT! THAT'S HI...HID...actually, that looks kind of nice."

"Yeah, the ref looks good in red. I hope this leads to a rule change on ref uniforms - oooo, he's adding orange!"

"I'm with you on that uniform change. That's starting to look like a really nice outfit."

"Whoops, one of the Blipball players just made a grab for the jellyfish! Looks like the game's still in play!"

"Manny Manfred Mandello Manvictor the third, lucky number 13 on the team, never really was one to waste time."

"Ouch! What a hit! I'm hurting just looking at that!"

"Dannivito Rockefeller sure can throw a mean right cyborg fist screw-hook!"

"Actually, I think he's the only man alive who can do that."

"Still looks like it hurt, though."

"Oh, definitely."

"Hah, look at that riot! The fans are even getting in on it! This is undeniably the best part of any Blipball game."

"Looks like the newcomers are leaving through their teleportal again. Too bad they're taking the jellyfish with them, but it's not really needed now that the fight's already started."

"Speaking of fights, you want to get in on this? It's moving too fast for us to comment on anyway."

"Why bother going all the way down there when I can just swing right now?"

"Put 'em up, you son of a BLEEP!"

"Oof! Suck on this, you piece of BLEEP!"

"Augh! You sly BLEEP! That was pretty underhanded!"

"Only the best from - ugh! - me! But YOU'RE fighting like a little BLEEP!"

This went on until both commentators were thoroughly unconscious.

---

Aaron found himself staring face down at some kind of carpeting. He rolled over slightly as he looked around him, feeling slightly queasy. "I don't think I like sports anymore."

Tchichold, on the other hand, found himself on the floor of a messy room crowded by easels with absolutely horrid pieces of art on them. A cue card on the wall next to the door said, "KEEP IT DOWN! I'M BUSY SUFFERING FOR MY ART!"