The Grand Battle S2G1! [Round Six: Eddelin City]

Originally posted on MSPA by cyber95.

---

SpoilerShow

Username: Lord Paradise
Name: Jennifer Tull
Gender: Female (definitely)
Race: Human (almost definitely; the royal genespinners are working round the clock to trace her back to Eve)
Color: #008000
Weapons/Abilities: Well okay let's break this down.

Weapons: Handgun, though swords tend to show up where she is.

Abilities: Royal heritage, natural ability to become good at stuff in a short amount of time, good at most things such as: swordplay archery deception magic leadership diplomacy fashion languages parkour gunplay sailing swimming chemistry zoology cooking sewing farmwork basic first aid salesmanship etiquette the fiddle some more alternative magic, solving riddles and other acts of insufferable cleverness, riding taming and sometimes just straight-up talking to any animal that could conceivably be mounted, making friends making enemies making pottery and in fact pretty much all the fine arts except poetry she always sucked at poetry.

(this character is a self-insert [img]images/smilies/mspa_face.gif[/img] )

Description: Not exactly the regal type by appearance, Jen is a short and moderately attractive sixteen-year-old girl but with the unique ability to wear obnoxiously bright lipstick in any color without looking like she's jumping on some sort of cultural bandwagon. Borderline hair that could usually be described as blonde in the summer and brunette in the winter. Always wearing something green: currently a small decorative green scarf. At the moment, if you really must know, she is wearing jeans a denim jacket and a pale violet shirt, hiking boots and carrying a purse with a handgun as well as some generic purse-y paraphernalia.

Biography: Given that her parents named her "Jen Tull" (in fairness they were high during most of the pregnancy) and the fact that she was, you know, an eleven-year-old girl, you might understand how Jen felt some absurdly stereotypical rebellious feelings towards her parents and authority figures and the world and such. This was of course before she found a secret door in a bookshelf in an attic of a treehouse in a labyrinth that led to a basement with a mirror and a dollhouse and it was all very complicated but eventually she made it to the Place, where a number of entertaining and best-selling wish-fulfillment adventures took place over the course of twelve years.

That Jen became queen of the Place and slew a number of evil beings while making peace with some morally-ambiguous beings from the Other Place surprised nobody, because that's kinda the package. What surprised the denizens of the Place was the sheer degree of ass she kicked in the process. Jen wound up her eleven-year reign with a public approval rating of almost 40%, the highest in the history of the Times of the Place. After that, she got restless, appointed a Regent in her place and went on a journey to return home, which eventually succeeded. Two years had passed in the Home while twelve years had passed in the Place (or maybe it was just two really long years, each with twenty-four seasons), making her a thirteen-year-old girl with no possible explanation for blah blah blah you've all read books before.

Still apprised of goings-on in the place through the Internet (which can be accessed by computers in the Home as easily as it can be accessed by setting live rabbits on fire in the Place), Jen settled into a fairly normal life at an orphanage under an assumed name and was only mildly discontent for a couple months until she realized that maybe she wasn't quite done kicking ass yet. She is currently wandering through Canada, on the run from the police because of some arson she did.

Sounds a lot like a Mary Sue, but I'm not sure if the fact that she's a Mary Sue on purpose should let me accept her anyway or not. So try to maintain some level of srsness and you'll be fine.

SpoilerShow

I'm not sure if I should do this... but... RESERVED!
Username: Lisawags
Name: Mr. Coconut or Coco for short
Gender: Male
Race: A coconut
Colour: #FF8000
Weapons/Abilities: Well, Mr. Coconut has a hard shell, so he can defend himself against almost anything but a blunt object. He can talk - even though he doesn't have a mouth or lungs - and roll around. Sometimes, if he concentrates enough, he can manipulate other objects that are bigger than him. Coco has to put a lot of strong emotions into it sometimes, though.
Description: Coco is a soul bound to a coconut from a powerful sorcerer. He's hairy, brown, and enjoys long rolls on beaches; he has gotten tired of beaches recently, though. His personality is... a sour one, to put it gently. He's usually in a bad mood and insults others if he gets a chance to. Because of the whole, "The angrier a spirit gets, the more powerful it becomes," thing, he tries to keep that emotion because it is the easiest to maintain. So, that is why he is such a bitter cynic.
Biography: When his soul still inhabited his body, he lived a dangerous life with absolutely no regrets; he did everything on impulse. He had done thousands of things from slaying evil wizards to having sex with exotic women from all over the known world. Yes, he was quite the playa. But one day - this can't be good - he went after the wrong wizard. Mr. Coconut had wooed the wrong woman, a woman who happened to be the fiance of a powerful sorcerer. Enraged, the mage baited Coco into a trap, extracted his soul, and sent it into a nearby ocean. Desperate to get to another "body" so he won't dissipate into thin air, Coco took over a coconut and became bound to it until either it broke, or he wanted to move on. He spent the rest of his time on the beach until he was whisked away into battle.

No.

Note: This season will potentially be a little bit less serious business than the previous.
That said, a fucking coconut is pushing it. Try to keep it relatively plausible. The Observer isn't going to choose a toothpick to fight in his battle. Please don't be in this just for the lulz.

If you want a weird contestant, I hear that Archduke will be taking one particularly outlandish contestant when he starts his this season. Otherwise there are all the spinoff games that people like to make. There's a few of those open for joke characters.